Eating Disorders Forum - Anorexia, a Lifetime Battle

Hi there.. I'm michelle. I just wanted to make a little input here, because I thought it might restore some faith.

When I was twelve, I fell into a depression.. For many reasons of course. But it became a battle with a horrific eating disorder. Anorexia isn't just a disorder, or a disease. It's a way of life... When you have it, you revolve your life around it.. It's like nothing else matters.

My eating disorder proceeded into eighth grade, my weight dwindling at 87 pounds. I got sick alot. My periods stopped altogether. I wasn't healthy. But still, I stared myself down in the mirror everyday and thought about how fat I was.. I'd punish myself for the slightest little things..

I'd love to say that now, as a sophomore in high school my battle with anorexia is over. I know it isnt. Although it has disapeared, along with most of my depression, I can never truly say goodbye to my eating disorder... Many say that anorexia is a lifetime battle.. It comes back to haunt you.....

Anybody out there who is suffering from an eating disorder, this little quote about life is for you.. For anyone who thinks that giving up is an option...

"after a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesnt mean learning and company doesn't mean security.

You learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.

You begin to accept your defects with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.

After a while you even learn that sunshine burns if you get too much.

So plant your own garden and decorate your soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth."