Teen Pregnancy Forum - to All Married Couples

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Q: to All Married Couples

asked by: pitterpatter on October 24th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

If you were married and your friend had been informed that your spouse was messing around with people through internet using nude photo's and such would you want to know. Even though you had been told before you got married that this spouse of yours had done this with one person before. I'm concerned for a friend who I know has been told about this one person. Come to find out that they probably don't know that this thing has happened with about 9 other people. Would you want your friend to tell you I guess is what i'm trying to get at? Or should your friend go to your mom because your mom know's about the first incident. This way your mom can relay the info on to you confidentially.

Replies(12)

2ferano

replied on October 24th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

If it were my friend, they better f-ing tell me!
In my opinion this whole internet love/sex thing is cheating. What she chooses to do with the info is up to her, but if this person who knows is a real friend, then they would tell her.
That is just disgusting. People are turning marriage into a joke.

sparklypixie12

replied on October 24th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

hotasfrick wrote:

that is just disgusting. People are turning marriage into a joke.

another good point there angie!

pitterpatter

replied on October 24th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Well, my feeling right now is this person is trying to get a green card because she had asked like five or more men on a forum to move in with them and be a couple. My friend was the only one to give in to her, but he was really depressed during this time. My friend I think only know's about one person I don't think he know's about the rest.

pitterpatter

replied on October 24th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Even if this was a friend that you haven't really talked to much for the past year. Ever since he broke up with my bestfriend he's been distant. I'm really worried about him. I'm afraid she's planning on leaving him after she get's her card.

2ferano

replied on October 24th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Well, if he realizes that this is the only reason for the marriage and is just doing it for her then okay. But if he actually loves/cares for this women then that is just f-ed up. And make sure he knows the legal trouble he can get in for marrying her just so she can get her green card.
I still think you should tell him, regardless. He deserves to know. What is wrong with this woman?

pitterpatter

replied on October 24th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

I think he really does love her. I plan on tell him, but I know how pissed off he's going to get so i'm thinking about going through his mom who already knows about the first one and she can get it through to him if she needed to. She's the only one he's been really close to.

Kia

replied on October 25th, 2004

Supporter

Marriage and relationships are based on trust, if she can't ask him if it is true and be assured of an honest answer then she should tell him to leave.

I have had sexy conversations over the internet, and flirted and himself knows and is ok because we have trust and he knows it is only a bit of fun - I would never ever follow it up.
In fact often he will be there as well and we will make our end of it up together.

Honesty is where it is at.
I know if some one told me that he was fooling around the first thing I would do is ask him, tell him what I had been told and ask for his side of it.
People stir and like to try to come between people.

bellax0x

replied on October 25th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Id want her to tell me. But if she was embarrased or didnt want to for some reason I understand. Its her problem so she should be able to deal with it however she wants..

<3
gaby

jessamyn

replied on October 25th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Hell ya id wanna know jackasses hahah

pitterpatter

replied on October 25th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Well, the friend is a guy actually and I guess the first time he was told about it he only knew of like two people. He said he didn't really care, but when he told his wife about it she flipped. So I don't know if he allows it or not. I don't think he believes these people because he said he thinks they made stuff up. Well, my husband has emailed him telling him that he's heard it from more than just two people and that they have absolutely no reason to lie. These people have known him longer than his wife has so there's no reason for them to lie. Anyways, so everyone is trying to get it through to him, but we'll see if he believes him or not.

Daile

replied on October 25th, 2004

Experienced User

Well, i'm not married, but i've been in a similar situation with my ex-boyfriend. My friends didn't tell me, because they were also friends with the girl, and it ruined everything! I was so mad when I found out that they were keeping it from me that I haven't talked to them since (and it's been almost three years). I think you should talk to him, and make him listen. And you know, he might want to consider checking the history on his computer. I don't know how, but there is a way to bring it up even after someone deletes it...That way he'll have proof that he can't deny.

Daile

pitterpatter

replied on October 26th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Well, my hubby has access to a lot of info on the forum they belong to and he found a private message sent from our friends mom to the wife. I guess his mom had found out that she had been using the phone she let her son borrow to call her ex in n.Y. She racked up the bill to 300 dollars. His mom is very mad about all of this and she didn't want to put her son in the middle of it anymore. I guess my friends wife made up some lie that matt was the one making all these calls, but when she got the records she knew she was lyeing. So anyways, we emailed him a message telling him how we felt and what we knew and why we believed these people. I guess we'll see what happens.

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