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Q: Confused
asked by: fighter12389 on October 23rd, 2004
New User
I'm ready to have sex with the guy that i'm seeing but i'm scared.
Not of what he will think or if it will hurt but getting pregnant. It's my worst fear in the whole world. Now I know I should be on the pill but getting it is a very hard thing for me. My mom will never take me, she has expressed it very clerly.She doesn't know that want to have sex but i'm planning on sleeping w/him once before I get on the pill or another form of birth control. But I don't know when in my cycle to do it because i'm irregular.Can anyone help. Yes I do plan on using a condom.How big of a chance is there of me getting pregnant on my first time?

Thank you
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Daile
replied on October 23rd, 2004
Experienced User
There is a chance of getting pregnant anytime during the month. On a 28 day cycle, though, you're more likely to be ovulating on day 14. If I had to pick a day, i'd say go for a day or two after your period ends. It's not very likely that you've ovulated yet, and if by any chance a sperm or two slip out of the condom, they will likely be dead before you do ovulate. It's not fool-proof, but that's the best bet, I think.

Why won't your mom help you get birth control? Maybe you should sit down with her and let her know that you plan on having sex with or without, but that you would rather do it with, because you don't want a baby. Ask her which she would rather deal with: taking you to get birth control, or having a screaming infant in the house. I think she'll choose the first!!

Daile
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fighter12389
replied on October 23rd, 2004
New User
Thank you for your help you have helped me a great deal.I'm happy to see you suggested some times. I figured people would just say go on the pill.To go to the doctors and get on birth control do you have to have parental consent and if you do go and get on it is there any way of your parents finding out? Like it coming up on a medical bill or something?How do you go a get put on it? Yes, iam new at all of this stuff.


Thank you
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PattyV
replied on October 23rd, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Go to planned parenthood.You do not need parental consent and the fee will be low cost or even free.I personally would be happy to give my stepson any info on birth control and safe sex.I would rather do that than be told that there is a baby on the way or that he has an std or worse.Maybe let your mom know that you've been thinking about it,she was once your age and teen sex is not new.Try to bring up the subject and see how she reacts,if she is totally against any discussion,make an appointment at a local planned parenthood and be safe!Patty
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Jag
replied on October 24th, 2004
New User
Re: Confused
fighter12389 wrote:
i'm ready to have sex with the guy that i'm seeing but i'm scared.

Not of what he will think or if it will hurt but getting pregnant. It's my worst fear in the whole world. Now I know I should be on the pill but getting it is a very hard thing for me. My mom will never take me, she has expressed it very clerly.She doesn't know that want to have sex



your mum knows what she's talking about.You clearly don't know what you're getting into.She doesn't want you to have any regrets later.If you don't listen now, and do what you want,you might not have her support later and you'll feel all alone if you get pregnant -which is a real possibility. Abortion is not as easy as it sounds, it leaves one with deep regret& pain all through their life.Think with your brain not your hormones.The reason we have parents is coz we need them& so unless you feel you're ready to be a parent yourself, and also face the dangers of std's etc, forget it. Exclamation
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darkV
replied on October 28th, 2004
New User
If you are anything like me you are going to do what you want no matter what people on the forum say. But we all can give you advice to keep you safe and happy. I think dalie has some good advice. Birth control is very inportant and luckly we have many choices and clinics that cater to teens, evern ones whos parents oppose to their actions. In my town we had a teen clinic that gave free birth control, paps, std tests, and advice. Look into it. One peice of advied I can give you from experienc is to have you and your boyfriend get std checks before sex w/o codoms, if either of you have been even mild sexually active. Do this with all you boyfriends forever! Just cause you are clean or you think he is clean or you are on the pill doesent mean there isnt something creepy hidding there.

Also, if you are interested in monitoring your cycle, even if you are irregular (like me) then check out a book called: taking charge of your fertility: the definitive guide to natural birth control, pregnancy achievement, and reproductive health (revised edition) -- by toni weschler. There is alot of info here but if you want to be ready to have sex I suggest reading it. It can be fun too and you will get to know yourself and respect your body alot! Relly!

Be smart,
darkv
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