Do You Ever Feel This Way?

Right after I had mackenzie I told ryan that I didnt love him anymore and to get outa my life, I didnt really mean it but at the time I did. I always told him that we needed a break and to just leave. I think its a phase....I dunno but I was the same exact way. And I felt hate towards ryan but I still loved him.

When did you stop feeling like that? Thats how I feel, I feel hate towards him. I dont like it, and I dont want to admit it, but I do. Ive told him that I hate him, that he's an problem, and everytime we get into a fight I say I dont love him anymore and I want to break up. I really dont like feeling this way.

I was the exact same way!!! I still kinda feel that way but its not as bad as it used to be in the beginning.

It seems like its just getting worse and worse for me, and kevin isnt helping much last night I was trying to take a nap, and brooklyn wanted to be held and I asked kevin to make her happy and he said no because he was sick, well later on, brooklyn started to get hungry, and I went to go to the bathroom before I fed her, and I came back out and kevin was holding her... All I said to him was "i thought you were sick" and he got all pissed off and said he just wanted to hold his baby and he went into the bedroom and locked me out, I didnt even have my pajamas, I sleep in the living room with brooklyn anyways but the fact that he got all pissed over me saying "i thought you were sick" and locked me out of the bedroom without my pajamas, I dont like to sleep in just a shirt and underwear, I dont know why but I dont... And then this morning I was up when he was leaving for work, and hes like "im leaving now" and he said it all mean, and I said "dont I get a kiss or an I love you?" and hes like "i dont want to get you sick" (also said that really mean), I asked "well can I at least have an I love you?" and he said "i love you" like he really didnt want to. It was very hurtfull he was treating me this way just because I said one thing. If hes sick, he should make up his mind, he either cares about getting brooklyn sick, or he doesnt. He shouldnt be touching her or any of her things if hes sick!

U guys are scaring me I dont wanna feel that way

I felt that way too.. I dont know if it was hormones but every little thing tim did pissed me off. Hed go out drinkin, come home late then go to work.. And it seemed he was neve wit baby and I tried to move out a few times and once he kicked me out.... But we're startin to get a lil better. Its just hard with the sudden change of lifestyle. Try to get some "u and him" time. It helps. Get someone to watch baby for a couple hours, go see a movie or eat dinner or something... Sometimes that helps. I still feel mad at him sometimes but not even close to how I used to feel. It gets better (well I hope).

Shauna

Aw april I hope things gte better!

<3
gaby

Aww, wow. I feel like that sometimes with adam, but im not even preggity! Maybe its just hormones. I am sure things will get better...I do believe that you need time for just the two of you, it helps a lot!!

-kristin

Yea, I agree with the alone time thing, but I dont trust leaving brooklyn with his mom, and thats one of the only people I would even possibly let babysit... There would be my mom (she lives 45 minutes away, so if she took her it would be for an overnight deal, and not for a long time from now), kevins mom, who lives 5 minutes away, who I dont like how she handles brooklyn. We were out shopping, and brooklyn started to grunt (she grunts all the time) and missy (kevins mom) took brooklyn out of her carseat... Well you can only guess what happened.... Of course brooklyn decided she was hungry, but did not want the bottle, only mommys boob, if missy would have let her be, she would have went back to sleep and I wouldnt of had to deal with an upset baby for 45 minutes. And when we were going out to eat up north, the whole ride back, the second brooklyn would make a noise she would either start poking at her and baby talking to her (its a long ride, you want her to sleep!), the second she would make a fussy noise she would try and shove her nuk in her mouth, which is supposed to be for emergency use only. The only person I would ever actually feel safe leaving brooklyn with is my friend megan, who is also brooklyns godmother. But megan works all the time, and I would feel bad asking her to watch brooklyn on one of her nights off. All the other people I know, their houses are dirty, or they always have people over, or I just dont feel safe leaving her there, and I wouldnt trust anyone (but megan) in my house. I know for a fact that everybody else would be nosey and go through my stuff(and possibly take something they find of interest). There is this one nice girl, kevins brothers girlfriend, who I might let babysit, but not until brooklyn is at least 3 months. I dont think shes had much expirience with really young babies. Grr sorry this kinda turned into a vent. Im taking a break, brooklyn is in her swing, and kevin just left to go help jay and his roommates move cuz they were dumb and got themselves evicted. Im just so frusterated with everything, I needed a break (lol what a break~ my computer ) and I needed to let some steam out. Thank you!

It's probably postpartum depression. I've heard it's pretty commen. I think though that love is something that is easy to fall out of and easy to fall in. It takes work you just have to remember how you felt before and know that this time will pass and it will get better. Just like with everything else in life. I've never had a baby before, but I know people that have and it's really a commen thing to feel that way.

I'll babysit april mackenzie and brooklyn can play together hehe, u still up for trick or treating?

Ehh for me it's kinda weird. I feel the opposite. Its as if he is not in love with me anymore ;\ and it's such a horrible feeling, 'cuz you can't tell what they truely feel, and sometimes they dont admit it. I always feel as if al is losing feelings for me. ;[

Its suppose to be 50degrees so im only walkin around the block with her and then ryan is drivin her to his friends house to show off her bunny costume

I just got done watching the weather channel and it said it was supposed to be 59... So thats pretty warm for halloween weather lol. I think we are gonna go, depending on how breezy it is. Im sure brooklyn will be just fine in a couple layers of clothes ... Her costume is pretty warm too, its all fuzzy on the inside, and its really thick.

I hope you have fun going trick or treating its her first halloween

Yea mackenzie's costume is a lil warm too but im also gonna put her in pants and a onsie shirt underneath just incase im so excited!! My school here at gateway is havin a halloween party and mackenzie is gonna come with her costume on and they are gonna give her baby food(applesauce etc) for when she gets old enough to eat it

Awww that is so cute, I think you are excited more than mackers is...Heather hehe

-kristin