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Baby's Dad Is Selfish

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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!
Baby's Dad Is Selfish
Posted: 10-09-03 15:47pm

My sister called me and said that her babies dad called. His name is daniel... Only because its her birthday and asked if he can see her!!! He hasnt seen her in like 5 months, and never cares too. She tried making him visit her all the time but he was always "too busy" and now out of the blue he says "can I see my daughter?" she said "ill see" but shes going to say no. The only other time he called was on fathers day so he can see her on his day. She said no to that too. She says she shouldnt have to jump at his call when he decides to visit her, he asked how big is she and if she can talk yet. And she said "well if you saw her more often, you would know" and he was like yeah well...I dont know. Ill call you later. The baby doesnt even know him. She only knows jose. He makes me so mad for leaving her.
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KMartinez

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2003
Posts: 18
....
Posted: 10-09-03 16:38pm

That stuff makes me so mad. Hes a jerk. How is your sister and how old is he? Its great that she a has a sister like you by her side.
I really hope that id I got pregnant my boyfriend wouldnt leave me.

K
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smith8500

Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 6623
Location: Louisiana
It
Posted: 10-09-03 17:14pm

It makes me very angry when father do that and if that were my babies father i'd tell him to (in caps) go to hell!
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 10-09-03 17:51pm

Lol, I know. She is 17 and he is 21. They got together when she was gonna be 16 and him 19 gonna be 20 so then she thought he was gonna be there. And he wasnt. He is such a bad person. And he lives 15 minutes away!!!

I cant stand dead beat dads! Especially ones like him who think they can see a baby when they want. Not when hes supposed to.

But my sister is fine. She is doing good and we all help out like a team! We take "shifts" hahaha, she has all day and part night, my mom has the other part of the night, I have mornings before work and after work. To hold her and play with her. And whats funny is the baby hates men! She clings to jose good but any other guy, she will cry her head off! I hope shes like that til she 27!!!! Hahaha

i hope no other girls get stuck with guys like that though....
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Mommy_2_b

Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Posts: 811
Location: Brookfield, N.S.
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0

Posted: 10-10-03 05:54am

That is so horrible I hate fathers like that - then again I know a few mothers like that too that leave everything up to the fathers. ... I donno some people just aren't meant to be parents... ~melissa
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Mesmerizeu15

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 2729
Location: Pittsburgh,PA

Posted: 10-10-03 09:04am

My boyfriend and I moved from il to pa together about 3 months ago. He says he is going back there for thanksgiving whether me and my son come or not, and it will be his first thanksgiving...Ugh!! I doubt that he comes back, because he hasn't established many friends her yet, but he has a great and I mean great job. I am worried, but I am hoping that I will be strong enough to make it on my own..I am sure that I will be posting a lot if he does end up leaving. I guess I should stop being such a health forum huh, I am just stressed..When I came here and was waiting for him to come too follow me and his son, he cheated on me 4 times..And once in front of my mother... I dont trust him but I love him and he is my everything...But some men like the one you are talking about are just plan self centered..Sounds just like my boyfriend, doesn';t care about anyone but himself...Ugh!!! Thanks for listening!!
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 10-10-03 11:11am

Girl if your guy cheats, leave him!!! You have to! He doesnt care and he takes your love for granted!!!! I already told jose if in like 5 years and we have two kids and he cheats, hes gettin the boot! And I told him I was gonna pull a lorena bobbit on him. I call him down there "chorizo and huevos" and I said the huevos first, then the chorzio and its all gettin cut off!!! And he was like fine, if you cheat im sewing you up!!! Hahaha it was funny, but I dont take lightly to cheaters. My dad cheated on my mom like 6 times his whole life and she kept taking him back, but then they divorced and they remained best friends, which is why she keeps searching for him. A relationship is nothing without trust.

As for daniel, he never called and my mom told alma, dont even give him the time of day to call or even ask to see the baby! She is way better off without him. But his best friend gustavo came to her party at chuck e. Cheese last night and got her a cute rocking horse that sings! And he comes by alot to see my sister and the baby. Daniel doesnt know cuz its his friend and nobody is going to tell him either. Its what he gets.
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Mesmerizeu15

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 2729
Location: Pittsburgh,PA

Posted: 10-13-03 10:18am

Nikki, thanks for the advice, I am just not that strong.. I am not strong enough because I love him with all of my heart, and I guess you could say that I have a fear of being alone. Last night he got mad at me because I wont give him head and he says our sex life is boring..And we have sex quite a lot. I wish he could respect my discission...When I was younger horrible things like that happened to me, how can I make him realize?? I love him, what are ways to make each other happy? He makes me so mad sometimes, I feel bad I am talking about this one someone elses post...
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 10-13-03 14:54pm

Its ok if you changed the topic on here, it was my post anyways! Hahaha

you do realize that because hes saying the sex is boring and hes not happy, hes only gonna go elsewhere and get it from someone else. Sorry to say that but he will. And he already cheated on you. So he might always do it again. Have you asked him why does he cheat on you? I know if jose did that, I would be very upset and I would end it right away. But I would want to know why he cheated. Does he remind you that he loves you and makes sure you know he wont cheat again? This really isnt a healthy relationship you are in right now. Is there other ways that you can spice up your sex life so that he wont go get some from another girl. You should not have to lower your standards in a guy because you are afraid to be alone. You shouldnt have to put up with this kind of treatment. Let him know you have rules too. If he gets all mad because you wont give him head and starts tripping then say fine, you wont get sex either until your attitude changes. And if he doesnt understand, ask him "what is it don't you understand?" and if he yells or cuts you off...This is what I do: "ok, listen. Im explaining this to you very clearly and when im talking you don't interrupt me. Let me finish what I have to say and I want feedback so that you do understand me." im very stern.
How can you say you love him with all your heart, yet you don't trust him? You don't need this guy and youd be better off alone than putting up with all this. He can either change or there is a better guy out there for you.
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 10-13-03 15:13pm

Also letting him cheat, then come back to you...You are risking std's. Think if hes that much worth it that one day you can get infected with some kind of std, because you cant be alone.
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Mesmerizeu15

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 2729
Location: Pittsburgh,PA

Posted: 10-13-03 15:28pm

Humm...What to say, what to say, what to say....First off, larry cheated on me when I was pregnant and before I got pregnant when we were doing the long distance thing. He cheated on me when me and my son moved here and was waiting for him too. I know everyone here, and he knows nobody. I check his time sheet, I make sure I know where he is going and what he is doing...Do you really think he would medical question around with our baby in the same room??Or in my house where he has nobody here?? If we break up he knows he is getting shipped a thousand miles away...I do tell him that, and that is what I stuck to last night, I said fine if that is how you feel go get it somewhere else and I went to sleep and he slept on the couch, I locked the door...I do love him, and I do trust him to an extent...I know when he is lieing, and I know when he is telling the truth, I can trust him when he says he is going to do something. These past couple months I have had no suspessions...I am just keeping him tight that is all...I can't really explain it, I guess I was just hoping that you knew where I was coming from, hope that you doo..Thank you for your support sweetie...(and ya know, maybe us fighting is me, I can be a real health forum!!)
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 10-13-03 15:38pm

Oh I do know what you are going through, but id rather not have to be checking his time sheets and giving him the third degree and everything. One time jose was working and he had lunch with a girl because they were at lunch at the same time and she asked for him to sit with her (and I do not trust the girls he did work with) so he never told me, only my mom and sister and they told me so I got it out of him because he doesnt lie, and if he does lie...He tells me thenext day(he is a dork) and I got so mad at him, I yelled at him and everything and I said he was going back to arizona and everything. And we talked it over and hes fine. So now he works at a ranch with horses and there are no girls there. Good thing. I told him he can have lunch with a horse! Haha he cheated on you 1..2..3 times? And you took him back? Wow thats alot. I wouldnt do it, but if you fine with that, then good for you. I could not be able to picture jose screwing another girl and then taking him back. Thats just not happening for me. But good luck. Hope everything works out.
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