I've had zero motivation for so long I can't even remember what it feels like to want. I go through the day like a zombie.I feel useless. Even when things happen that I know I should feel good about I don't really care. I put on a smile and pretend. I'm really good at it. I have great friends that listen and are always there, but it doesn't seem to make a difference no matter how often I talk about it. I would talk more to my family but on top of being a huge portion of most of my problems my mother and sister are both bi-polar and often they are in no condition to help me.
My boyfriend is getting phone numbers from girls he says are just old friends. He gets mad when I get upset about it. It makes me feel ugly and useless and completely undesirable. I feel like the dorky 13 year old that I used to be. Too skinny, big glasses. He doesn't respect my feelings about it at all and all I can do is cry.......
I've never been diagnosed with anything. I feel stupid and weak for even thinking about going to get help. I feel ashamed. I can't go on being so miserable. I don't know what to do with my life, with my mental health. I feel like all of my dreams have died and my heart is broken.
I just don't know what to do........