Welcome the the roller coaster. I suggest you lock in your goals for stabalization (things like commiting to stay on your meds, setting up financial safeguargds etc). The sooner you come to acceptance, the sooner you can throw your arms up in the air and enjoy ther ride.
Bitterness sucks. Find a way to enjoy it.

Got the letter through from the psych and it is my diagnosis.... Ah well. Guess as you say I just have to put up with it.. Am commited to trying to stay stable but I had never thought of setting up some kind of financial safeguard - now I think about it though it makes sense.

my letter says my current episode is hypomanic, so I guess its good that its not full blown mania and psychosis but is the 'depth' of the mood swings likely to get worse as I get older?

Jeez.. Sitting here replying has brought it all to the surface exactly how worried I am. I know I need to accept it but I can't.. I'm getting married in 2006 - I can't be bipolar and have a personality disorder..

Long term meds can lead to serious problems - have you considered alternatives like 5htp, sam-e, ces or sound/light machines (these last from alpha-stim or dynamind.Com) yoga, etc????

Rather than just accepting your fate & the dr's meds why not become pro-active & look for better ways to deal & maybe even overcome your problems.

You should also get your fiance involved with understanding & seeking help for your problems.