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Q: Sexually Upset

asked by: Heathergirl on October 18th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

I have a problem, and I know other girls have posted about it...But can anyone help me?

One, my boyfriend doesn't last more than thirty seconds during sex...Sometimes he can fo for about a minute...And I know he can do something about it! There was a time when he went for about five minutes and I was so happy, even for the little five! And so for him not to try to please me...It upsets me....Bc I do everything for him...He doesn't have ask for anything in bed, and he knows he will get it...When i'm on my period he gets "pleasured" every day, sometimes twice...Bc I love him and want to make him happy...And during this time he always talks about how he is going to return the favor when i'm off my period...And then......Nothing. And then he will be like, let's have a quickie this time and then we will have a round two...Which we have never had but I am always up for...And then he says he is too tired....So I am so lost. I feel like crying bc it seems like I haven't even touched the sexual experience that I should be enjoying....He is the only person I have ever been with and we've been having sex for four months...And I just feel like a toy to play with when he needs his...And he has started to manually touch me....He won't do orally, even though I do, and this was something I refused before him....But I never get off this way...And when he touches my "clit" it is too sensitive...It feels good but tickles too, and I make him stop bc I don't know whether to moan or laugh...Lol

do I ever have a chance have being pleased sexually?

Replies(19)

misscamie20

replied on October 19th, 2004

New User

Trouble In Paradise

My bf is a minute man too.... Well a seconds man. Anyways, I have the same problem, he will please me with foreplay but intercourse is just like a waste of time b/c by the time he gets off im mad cause I didnt. Its been three years and im still dealing with this issue so I suggest getting comfortable with foreplay, some say foreplay is better than sex. Laugh and moan do whatever feels natural just close your eyes and let him lead you!!! One thing though.... If he wouldnt orally stimulate me he better believe I wouldnt do it to him. Sex is 50\50 !!!! Good luck :d

Wendypops

replied on October 20th, 2004

New User

Heather -- your questions was "do I ever have a chance have being pleased sexually?" well, it doesn't sound like it with this guy. First off, he doesn't sound like he cares at all whether you are enjoying it. In my (not inconsiderable!) experience, a good lover is far more interested in the woman's pleasure than in his own. It's not even got much to do with if he loves you or not, really -- just that a good lover gets off on the woman enjoying herself. I'm not sure if that's something a bloke learns, or whether it's how they start off, though.

But asks yourself as well -- what is the incentive for this guy (seeing as he doesn't get off on you enjoying it) to improve his performance, either in the staying-power department or in the oral department? He's getting as much from you as he wants, no cost to him and you just keep putting out and putting up with it! Hello?!!!!

This guy needs to know he is crap in bed and get his act together! And by the way, I do think that if you say "please have some consideration for my needs and satisfaction", and he doesn't make some better attempt, he's being pretty contemptuous of you. You really don't need that kind of man -- there really are some wonderful lovers out there!

kitty2luv

replied on October 22nd, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Minute Men

Yea y do the nut so fast could it be from me being tight I have had sex many time but the guys always nuts first and I never get the chance to make myself happy y is that?

dominique

replied on November 15th, 2004

Experienced User

Yeah. I agree. You're boyfriend has some issues with that. You need to tell him how you feel about it and try to make him understand that sex isn't just about him. That isn't fair to you to never get anything from it. What's the point if he's the only one having fun? Lol also, I know this sounds really sick and I apologize. My fiance is always worried that he's to quick yet he really doesn't have to worry about it. He sometimes masturbates a few hours before we plan on having sex. That way he'll be able to last a little longer and he has time to save up some energy.

BeckLyn

replied on November 15th, 2004

Experienced User

Try viagra! Or the herbal form of it. Or what the new one??? I can't remember. Anyway, thats what they're supposed to help with... Otherwise maybe he needs to talk to someone. A doc. Or something... And I find that I cum real fast if I ride, so maybe u just need to do that to start off with.

Granps

replied on November 16th, 2004

Experienced User

Minute Men

Kitty2luv
try going to http://www.Talksexwithsue.Com use all lower case.
This lady is a nurse and can help you understand more about your sexuality.

Stay focused on education. What grade are you in and what do you hope to achieve in life?Sexy men are a dime a dozen. Go for independence.

Pattyv recommended a vib (rabbit- it has other names, too. Check the web.) that can help your sex obsession. This is a vib that has a 6" penis and another vib that touches your clit, too. This could help cut down on your sexaul obsession w/ men. Wink

Tubby

replied on November 16th, 2004

Experienced User

Assuming that this guy is either your age or close to your age, I would suggest trying an older man (you look quite young, so maybe 35-40 wouldn't be too unreasonable). Older men are more experienced with women, more mature, and don't act like little boys as much when it comes to sex. Of course, this is assuming you don't mind being with an older man. And then there is the problem of finding an older man who is available. Just a thought.

PosrscheLvr

replied on November 23rd, 2004

Experienced User

Ok all I am going to say is that is crap. 30 seconds??? If you have regular sex after a while you can gain stamina. I just think you should get rid of the guy honestly. If someone is not willing to take the time and effort to do it right while you are in the bedroom, how is he going to act towards the rest of life? Tendencies tend to run and overlap into different parts of life. You need someone who wants to make you happy and who you want to make happy. Until then, get rid of the loser.

starshyne530

replied on November 24th, 2004

Experienced User

Get rid of the loser? That would be a good decision if your entire relationship was based on sex, and I hope it's not. Anyway, assuming you have a healthy relationship, you two need to sit down, have a chat about it, and explore your options. Vibrators and toys might help out for you... But I would definitely recommend the talk sex with sue website, because she knows everything. Laughing

have fun kids!

Hotness

replied on November 29th, 2004

New User

Maybe

Well, my boyfriend had this problem for a while. We were long distance for a while and when we got together, he could barely get up and if he did it didn't last for a while, either he'd cum or get soft. You know the first thing that pops in my head was that he was cheating but he swears up and down on the bible and everything that he's been faithful.

He told me that it's a mental thing. He says he gets so worked up about wanting things to be right and pleasurable to me, that he doesn't realize that it stresses him out. He also had some other issues goin on in his life. I don't really understand it, but things have gotten better. I'm guessing because he's a lot more comfortable with himself and his life at this time. Ever since he's gotten a new job, we rarely have these problems. Maybe your man is stressed or has a problem. Maybe he should see a doctor about it. My man mentioned it to his doctor and she reassured him that stress and whatnot could do that. I think that also eased his mind on top of the things in his life getting better.

Granps

replied on November 29th, 2004

Experienced User

Sexually Upset

Make him lay still while you ride him. (him on the bottom and you on top.)that way you have control of your sexual pleasure and you can control his climax by sencing his. Don't let him move. (as one lady suggested.) ) I can't let my lady do this, without moving, but I do wait for her to cum, before I let go. Really, my total pleasure is to have her experience a very good, heart throbbing climax. I love the feeling, watching the expression on her face and the wetness that she produces.
Rock on, girl.......... Or dump his ass.......

2littlegirlz

replied on November 29th, 2004

Experienced User

Foreplay

dont even have sex until you are ready to climax if thats possible

vc061370

replied on November 29th, 2004

New User

Minute Man Got U Down?

Well maybe you should get him off first than allow him to recover than have sex; he will last longer or just go black, you will never go back and you want have to worry much about the 30 second & he's flat. Laughing

drexl

replied on December 14th, 2004

New User

Sorry I never got past around the hird insensitive response I read the guys got some problems, she didn't say that he was trying to disrespect her, I really wish some of you people would read the questions before answering with your stale sentiments.

vc061370

replied on December 14th, 2004

New User

the Truth Is Meant to Free the Mind Not Upset the Heart.

drexl wrote:

sorry I never got past around the hird insensitive response I read the guys got some problems, she didn't say that he was trying to disrespect her, I really wish some of you people would read the questions before answering with your stale sentiments.

wait a minute I thought you enlighten canadian are supposed to be open minded and all accepting you certainly can accept gay wedlock but the mention of interacial exploration upset you; it's like I always heard having an interactions with decendents of slave traders is like having unprotected sex; you never know what you are going to come in contact with. :p want you great brit wanna bees practice what you preach. Evil or Very Mad

lauren_prk

replied on December 14th, 2004

Experienced User

Most men have a problem with premature ejaculation, I mean 30 sec. Is pretty rediculas, but a lot of men are minute men. Johnson & johnson are researching a drug to help men with this, and should be out with in the next few years. I know that doesn't help now, but it's better than nothing. Viagra and other similar drugs do not help with this problem, they help men get an erection, not last longer, they will come in the same amount of time, they will just stay hard afterwords. Have you ever masterbated??? Because you need to be able to please yourself first. If it tickles you when your man stimilates you, do it yourself. Men can prolong there orgasims, but husband does it all the time. When he feels as though he's going to cum, have him pull out and go down on you or other fourplay acts. I don't think it's possible for a relationship to last when one isn't happy with the sex, so I really hope this gets stratened out for you.

MyLoveBugs

replied on December 14th, 2004

New User

Min Man

I think that you should talk openly with him. Talk to him about what you want from him, and how it upsets you that he really does not please you in bed. Like say baby I want us to try this, or this is what might our sexual life better.I really do believe that when you can talk with your man about anything it really helps the relationship out. I am sorry that you are having this problem, I know I did not help that much but if you need to talk I am here.

xConfusedx

replied on December 15th, 2004

New User

Well, I look at alot of guys when u tease them its like wut already letten the flow go...But now if your talking he goes 30 secs and goes limp then that boy has gotta major problem! But who cares if he's a minute man...As long as he can keep going after the fact he done let it go...Gotta give a few mins to let him get ready to go awhile!!! Geeze dun diss on the min. Men

lauren_prk

replied on December 16th, 2004

Experienced User

She already said that he says he'll go for round two, but than when it comes down to it he says he's too tired.

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