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I have been depressed for a couple of months and it is getting worse. I appoligize now for this being so long...I had to retire early from my job early due to a seizure disorder. I have been a housewife stuck at home due to a law in my state that does not allow people with seizures to drive. I just so happen to have seizures so often that I have not been able to drive for about 2 years.
My husband and I have (4 months ago) have his cousins 2 girls live with us instead of them living in foster care. Well, we both love these girls and I take care of them all day...They arent in school yet. I am stuck at home very rarely do I get to go out. His mother is retired and in the beginning I was talking to her on the phone...She is a person that is hard to get motivated, so I have learned not to ask much from her. My husband knows that I am miserable here. He does not like to bring up subject re: that. I call his mother she does not answer the phone and I leave messages and she does not call me back...So needless to say I quit calling her...He asked me why I was mad at her(falls back on me)she goes to all of my husbands dr visits with him and I want to go with him...He tells me that I need to watch the girls. I want to go with him.
We get no assistance for the girls from the state nor the parents or grandparents. If I bring up anything re: that situation, I feel the tension.
I love him and I know that he loves me but I am so hurt and feel so alone my friends are his friends and they end up telling him if I get upset so I do not mention this to them.
Please help ... I tried to keep this brief... But I have even more
help>>>i feel so alone.
Connie elaine
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replied October 18th, 2004
Experienced User
Hey connie go out for a walk -take a bus -catch a cab-driving yourself is not the only way to get around-if his mom doesnt want to talk to you then thats her deal-get a friend you can talk to
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replied October 19th, 2004
Thank you for your reply.

We cannot really afford a cab~we have been caring for the girls and have not had any assistance...We are hoping that we can get custody of them and the dss is trying to get the father to take blood tests to prove that he is the father, we all know that he is...He just does not want to support them. Once that happens hopefully(got my fingers crossed) I will be able to drive.
The only busses around here are school busses...Are neighborhood is basically vacant during the time my husband is at work. My husband, on the weekends carts us around anywhere we want to go, even though hes tired.
I dont want to sound like I am trying to dodge your suggestions...Weve looked at a bunch of avenues, im not even supposed to ride a bike, walking is basically out of the ? Any store or mcdonalds with a play park is about 45minutes to an hour walk.
Thanks,
connie elaine
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replied October 19th, 2004
Oh yeah, we take walks all the time...I think I need new legs(feels as if I wore these slap out Laughing )
thanks again
connie elaine
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replied October 20th, 2004
Experienced User
Gee vanessa ya think?!
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replied October 20th, 2004
Good to see you being helpfull again trap . People ask for help not sarcisim
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replied October 20th, 2004
Experienced User
Bow down baby bow down!!!!!!
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replied October 21st, 2004
Take no notice of trap hes a serial pest
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replied October 27th, 2004
Re Meds.
I am taking depakote due to a seizure disorder. I am not taking anything for the stress. I feel that I need to be totally "aware" of the situation that I have been placed in.
As to the other sarcastic reply I can and have been dealing with alot of idiots and have learned to ignore silly and ignorant remarks.
Thank you for your posts I feel that every one has been enlightening and I learn alot from them.

A wise old owl lived in an oak;
the more he saw the less he spoke;
the less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

Connie elaine
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replied November 22nd, 2004
I Feel Your Pain
Hi connie,
i am new to the seizures, but not anxiety. I live in fla. And started having seizures about 6 months ago. I have had a history of anxiety for some time though. I have been on meds for some time now. Not for the seizures only stress and anxiety. Then I had my first seizure due to not taking the ativan. I lost my licence and my job because of this. Long story short I recently had another seizure, but this time the doctor put me on klonopin. I am still able to drive with this med and not only does it prevent seizures, but it takes care of the anxiety as well. As far as the kids may I ask how old they are? I have 2 myself and a new grand son. Maybe look at it as a blessing to not be totally alone. I know it's hard but i'm divorced and would like to see my kids more. I feel alone alot too. Do you have the seizures while taking care of them? If so do they know what is happening? Maybe I have rambled too much here if so i'm sorry. I am new to all this as well. I would love to be of any support I can to you.
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replied November 22nd, 2004
Thanks
Im sorry I was changed to keppra about a year ago and my memory is shot, I forget what med I am taking for them. I have a dog that has quite a keen sense of seizures and he is with me almost always. I usually get an audio aura before I have one.
The children are 3 and 5. They have not witnessed them yet.

Bad thing my son, 15, has started having seizures and we are waiting results back from his tests. He feels all alone. He lives in ky with his father and his step mom. He told me that they dont believe him.
I let him live with his dad 1.5 years ago, he thought that it would be cake living with them. You know summer vacations are alot of fun. Well, he is considering moving back and I hope that he does. He says that his step mom laughs at him and she hits him. I talked to his father but he is in denial.
I have had seizures since my childhood, they went away when I was pregnant with my son and they came back 2 years ago...I thought I out grew them, guess I was wrong. The meds are terrible...Tremmors to short term memory loss. I really have to watch myself with my meds cause I have accidently taken too much med and forgot to take it as well due to the memory loss.
How old are you? Are your meds working for you...You know thats the terrible part, weaning on and off can really play with your mind. What kind do you experience and do you get a warning aura?
If you need to talk to anyone, im here.
Connie elaine
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replied November 22nd, 2004
Hi connie,
thanks for the reply. I am 40 soon to be 41 in december. I sorry to hear about your son. I know you don't need that added stress. I hope he gets to come live with you, it would be good for both of you. I was on keppra for a short time after my first seizure then changed to dilantin for some reason. That was for just a few months then I was put on ativan only. I was seizure free for a short time. They ran every test possible with no answers. I assumed that I was not going to have any more (what did I know). I had the gran mal last week and was put on the klonopin. I must say it is working well because i'm not having any anxiety nor a seizure. I have only been on it a short time though. The one side effect is drowsyness. Do you know why you have the seizures? Sorry if I ask dumb questions this is all so new to me. When you have one are you completely unconcious? My last one lasted for a few minutes in a public place. I scared alot of people including myself. Well I could go on but I wont put you through that. Thanks for your return message.
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replied November 24th, 2004
They run in my family. I am totally out of it when they happen. Its like I wake up from sleep. When I finish I usually know somethings up when I am not in my bed. I have gran mal type. And I feel horrible afterwards. It takes me about 15-30 minutes to be able to understand what people are asking me when I come around. And when I rest afterwards, I can sleep for like a day strait. It totally drains me mentally and physically.
I have daily auras and some are quite strong and make me feel like I need to get ready...But I have not had one in a while. My Dr. Says that the strong auras may be small seizures and I am just not passing out. They have been going on for about 2 years. I had back to back g-mals and since then I have been experiencing the strong auras. Feel free to ask any questions that you may have. I dont mind at all.
Connie elaine
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replied November 26th, 2004
Thank You
Hi connie,
nice to hear from you again. I was told that seizures were not normally genetic. How many of your family members have them and were they given a reason that was causing them? Other than genetic. I understand about the physical and mental drain after the gran mal I feel the same. I have had some trouble with short term memory loss since on the klonopin as well. Things slip my mind but if reminded it usually will come back to me. I am having a hard time with that because I have always had a sharp memory. With my work I have alot of responsability, and always was good at multi tasking. Now I find myself writing everything down to cover myself. Well I guess there is the good and bad of everything because the klonopin seems to be the best for me so far. I think I understand the auras. It has not happend every time but I had what I belive to have been an aura with a mini seizure the other day. I did not pass out though. How is your son? I hope well. If you would like I can give you my personal email as well I would like to keep in touch.
Dawn
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