Abortion Debate Forum - a Daddy's Right

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Q: a Daddy's Right

asked by: Heathergirl on October 15th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Whether I believe in abortion or not........And I am a woman...I still think that the male involved with the conception of the pregnancy should have a say in whether or not the pregnancy is carried out....If a woman wants to carry the pregnancy to term, the man should have no say...She wants to protect her child...If the woman does not want to carry the pregnancy to term...The man should have a say...He wants to protect his child. He is half of that "fetus, child, baby, thing" and should at least have a little bit of say in it. It's not fair that if the woman purposely gets pregnant she can keep the child and then sue the father for child support for 18 years for a child he doesn't want, but she can abort a child they both made without his say, even if he wants to be a daddy.

A man who creates a child and then chooses he doesn't want it...Won't pay for it...And doesn't take his parental responsibilites: dead beat dad

a women who creates a child and then chooses she doesn't want it...Won't pay for it...And doesn't take her parental responsibilites: pro-choice

i am not saying these are the only people who are pro-choice and have abortions...Every person has their own story... I'm just trying to make a point about fathers and their rights.

Replies(16)

Daile

replied on October 16th, 2004

Experienced User

I totally agree with you, heather. I think the father should have a say in the matter. And actually, in some states I think they do. Generally law & order is good about basing their shows on real laws, and they had an episode where a man took his wife to court to force her to carry the baby, because he wanted to keep it. They were in new york. I don't know if it works that way in other states or not. I do knw that in most states there are laws to protect unborn children, so that if a pregnant woman were to go get totally wasted and fall down in the middle of a busy highway, she could be taken to a treatment facility, and a court could order her to get help.

Daile

JanetBee

replied on October 16th, 2004

Experienced User

So the rapist gets a say?

A guy who gets a girl drunk, has sex with her without a condom -- he gets a say?

What planet do you girls live on?

Personally I think that before two people have sex they should set out in writing and sign it what would happen if the woman got pregnant. There is a big problem of woman "oopsing" men, and then expecting them either to marry them become their walking-wallet, or just support the baby they really didn't believe was going to happen. So if she says that if she gets pregnant, she would have an abortion, he needs to be okay with that. And if she says she would, and then doesn't, then he shouldn't have to accept any responsibility. Or she could say she wouldn't have an abortion, but would not demand any support from him. Or the contract could say that she wouldn't have an abortion, but he has to accept parental responsibility. That way everyone would be clear before the accidents happen.

But if there is serious risk of handicap or deformity in the fetus, I don't think you can force a woman to carry the pregnancy if she doesn't want to, no matter what she said before.

Izzy

replied on October 16th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

So you want to invite the government back into the bedroom do you?

Why cant you see the law of nature determins that very contract between man and woman. If they both consent to sex then they both consent to the possiblity of a resulting pregnancy.

When pregnancy does occur then there are three human beings (handicapped) or not to consider, that is why understanding that a possible pregnancy could result from sex is important before engaging in the act of intercourse. It is irrisponsible not to!

Heathergirl

replied on October 16th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

janetbee wrote:

so the rapist gets a say?

A guy who gets a girl drunk, has sex with her without a condom -- he gets a say?

What planet do you girls live on?

.

of course we wouldn't suggest that anyone who raped or decieved a girl to get the pregnant would have a say...Not only is that the last thing we were saying...It is not fair for you to munipulate our words....The one percent of abortions resulting from rape are minute...And of course there would be laws regarding what would happen in this situation......We are not women haters...And we have hearts...We don't want this to turn into a man eat woman kinda world...As many have suggested....

Izzy

replied on October 16th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Well said heathegirl, I commend you for your honesty regarding the unborn I am pleased to see that there are still women willing to profess the truth about the humanity of the unborn (even though 75% of the prol ife movement are female) you are a credit to yourself and womankind.

Heathergirl

replied on October 17th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Thank you izzy....That means a lot...

oopoopoop

replied on October 17th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

izzy wrote:

why cant you see the law of nature determins that very contract between man and woman. If they both consent to sex then they both consent to the possiblity of a resulting pregnancy.

When pregnancy does occur then there are three human beings (handicapped) or not to consider, that is why understanding that a possible pregnancy could result from sex is important before engaging in the act of intercourse. It is irrisponsible not to!

i agree -- I think it is important to inform someone that if you get pregnant you will (or might) have an abortion, so that they know what they are agreeing to, or also that if you do accidentally get pregnant that you would not have an abortion, and they would be 50% responsible for the resulting child. If they then don't want to have sex with you, fine.

The idea of a contract is great, if more teenagers had this discussion beforehand, I think it would stop a lot of unwanted pregnancies. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you needed a license to have sex, had to pass a test that says you know what the consequences are? I mean, you need one to drive a car or to get married. If only it was enforcable!

Izzy

replied on October 17th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Marrige is the licence to have sex

PattyV

replied on October 17th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

I happen to know people that are married who do not have sex!Marriage is also about the closeness of being with someone long term,not just sex!Being married is not all about the physical pleasures that can come from deep and commited love,it does help,but it's not everything.Sex will not solve problems or pay the bills.If you believe that marriage is only a liscense for sex,that is a shame.You may miss out on one of life's greatest joys-being married to the right person.I read once somewhere that you need to marry the right person because this one decision will account for 90% of your joy or sorrow and I find that to be true.Patty

Daile

replied on October 18th, 2004

Experienced User

Yeah, it would be just great to make teenagers take a test before having sex. Like you said, they have to take one to drive a car...

Oh, wait! Let's not forget all the teenagers that drive without a license, or drive during times or under conditions in which their license isn't viable. And the teenagers who passed the test and got a license, and then had an accident because of reckless driving!

A test will not solve anything. Neither will a contract. Both can be ignored in the heat of the moment. You want to stop teenagers from having premarital sex? Get the government to pass a law requiring chastity belts (male and female) to be worn from the start of school until the honeymoon. That's the only chance you have of it working! And we all know, that will never, ever happen.

And by the way, a lot of teenagers do have this discussion before sex. I did, with every partner i've had. And you want to know a secret?? Most of the time, we still didn't use protection. We didn't want a baby, and we had no way of taking care of one. But when your making out and getting naked, you don't want to be the one to say "oh, crap, we gotta stop! I ran out of condoms!!"

daile

oopoopoop

replied on October 18th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Believe it or not, I was a teenager once too. And I know you can't stop them from having sex. What I said was "wouldn't it be good if" -- and said too bad it wouldn't be enforceable.

And as long as teenagers have unprotected sex, you will have unwanted pregnancies. And since it is only the girl who gets stuffed with the consequences, thank god she can have an abortion.

bellax0x

replied on October 19th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

I totally agree with you heather, youre a smart girl

<3
gaby

PattyV

replied on October 20th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Teenagers have been having sex since the beginning of time.The only difference now is that teens generally do not marry at 14, but their bodies are wired to be full of raging hormones at that age.120 years ago,it was common to marry as teenagers and start a family right away to help with farmwork and such.Large families were needed and there were high death rates for both infants and mothers.I agree that abstinance does not work-it never has and doubt that it ever will for most people.If you are in that minority,good for you,but most of us are not that strong to resist.All adults can do is provide their young people with the knowledge that is needed for both bith control and safe sex and hope that some of the message has gotten through. If so many adults were not so embarassed about sex, it is possible that there would be a decrease in the unexpected pregnancies.I would rather my child ask about birth control and be given the info than to be told that there is a baby on the way.Patty

JanetBee

replied on October 20th, 2004

Experienced User

Another problem is that the age of puberty is coming down -- it used to be around 15 or 16, now 10 or 11 isn't uncommon. But the shape of the body is still that of a child, so although a little girl can become pregnant, she isn't actually built to be pregnant. And she certainly doesn't have the capacity to be a mother.

PattyV

replied on October 20th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Little girls are going through puberty much earlier than ever and that is possibly due to all the chemicals and additives in our foods,especially the hormones in meats.I see little girls,10,11 years old with developing breasts and getting their periods.They are much too young to understand what sex is about and some do not have the information they need to not get pregnant.It is very sad to see some parents not accept that their little girls are not so little anymore and they fail to discuss sex and birth control with them.Education is the key to reducing unplanned pregnancies!Patty

2ferano

replied on October 28th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

In that law and order episode the man lost because it was the woman's right.
Also, in that episode, since it was brought up, the man was abusive and only wanted her to follow through with the pregnancy to control her.
A prime example of why it is ultimately the woman's choice.
But, you know what? If a woman gets pregnant to a man and decides she doesn't want to be a mother, but feels that he would do fine raising the baby by himself would go ahead and have the baby and give it to him.
In other cases where the woman decides against the man's wishes, it is most likely justified. That is just part of the whole decision making process. All factors need to be taken into account, and if the person making the decision feels the man really does want the baby, then she would probably have it.

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