help depression

I think the first thing you should do is talk to your husband.
Ordinarily I say let the past stay in the past - but it's hard with depression because it can come up again with stressful situations, and you definitely are in a stressful situation, if you are in a new country!!

Your husband needs to know about your past.
Sit him down and say, "listen, I have to talk to you about my past. This is something I can't run away from, and I feel like it is happening again. I don't want to do this to myself, to you, or to our relationship."

if he isn't interested, find yourself a therapist fast, and ask your husband to come with you to a session...

Good luck!!

Hi antione, i'm eloise & believe me when I say i've been there. As a teen I was suicidal. As a teen I didn't have the guts to actually hurt myself. Once my father asked me something about a guy @ school & I remember thinking that if he hits me I was going to cut my wrist, but for some reason he didn't hit me. I always kept razor blades with me & at one time I carried a switch blade. As a young child I was abused physically as well as emotionally. It was very hard for me to communicate with people. I met my husband (my night in shining armor) since i've matured a lot the only advice to you is to be honest to him. You r still young, but if your husband loves u he will be there for u. My husband knew that I was suicidal, but he got tired of me saying i'm going to kill myself, until he said here if u want to kill yourself go ahead & do it because i'm getting tired of u saying it. He wanted to go out with the boys. He was 23 @ the time, & he decided to stay home, because I didn't want him to go. Ever since then my husband has been there for me & he still is. We been together 24yrs. If it's hard for you to talk about, then write your thoughts on paper, verbally when we had discussion, I would always leave something. So I started writing all my thoughts on paper. I still do & I love to write poetry. I can only write what I feel. If I don't feel it I can't write it. I wish u much luck and success.