My husband has suffered from depression
for about 5 years. He was not diagnosed
until about 3 years ago and was put on
Welbutrin. He started feeling better and
decided he did not want to take
medication, so he weaned himself off of
it. It is not a habit-forming drug, but
he did not want to be on it. Now he has
been off of it for about a year and has
had small episodes of depression, but
nothing major. Now he is reverting back
and it is major like it used to be....mood
swings, not happy with himself, no sex
drive, loss of care for anyone (including
his family), having pity parties for
himself, will not get out of the house
much.
It is has been like this for 5 years and
we have been married for 6. It is getting
very old that everything is about him and
I feel that I am constantly having to
uplift him and help him along through
life. I am completely wore down and would
like him to focus on his family. We have
talks, but they don't seem to help. He
apologizes and says he hates that I have
to go through this, but I have even
considered leaving and hoping that would
get his attention. I really don't want to
leave, but if it would make him wake up it
would be worth it. I have suggested him
getting back on Welbutrin, but he doesn't
want to. Any suggestions or has anyone
been through this? I have prayed about it
and so has he. I just need a break!!
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lonekswolfe
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2003 Posts: 1
husband depressed Posted: 07-25-03 14:52pm
my heart goes out to you I share your pain
Paxil has helped us it had to be increased
and that worked started 12.5 went to 25mg
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Patrick B. Asay
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jul 2003 Posts: 138 Location: Pocatello, ID
Posted: 08-05-03 21:58pm
I believe in the statement, "behind every
great man, is a better woman." it means
that you're very strong to be able to
endure through the responsibility of
having to uplift him in his time of need.
I think if you did leave him, the saying,
"you don't know what you got 'till it's
gone" would take effect on him, and he'd
miss your great efforts to ease his pain.
Patrick
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msjunglekitty30
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2003 Posts: 7 Location: Missouri
Posted: 08-08-03 22:24pm
Is there anything that your husband would
probably take other than welbutrin.
There are so many meds on the market that
there has to be something that he could
use. If it was helping him, then why did
he stop?
I've been from one med to another, paxil,
remerom, prozac, welbutrin, zoloft and on
and on and have gotten no relief but gave
me worse panic attacks than I already had,
on top of depression. Some made me so
high, and rubber feeling I couldn't
function normally. Some made my spine
feel like steel up into my neck and so
tense.
I understand how you feel. I wish you
the best.
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Raggedy Ann
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2007 Posts: 1
Posted: 09-11-07 16:32pm
Angel,
I can definitely sympathize with your
situation. My husband has suffered from
depression for most of his life, although
he wasn't diagnosed for many years. He
tried several different meds, but a
combination of Wellbutrin and therapy
helped him. He has been off his
medication for approximately 3 years and
is no longer seeing a therapist. He has
had experiences similar to your husband in
that he has had small bouts from time to
time, but is now experiencing a backslide.
I can share in your frustration and anger.
We now have a four month old and more
than ever I feel that I am less helpful
and sympathetic to his condition. I have
to keep reminding myself that it is an
illness, just like diabetes or heart
disease, etc. Unfortunately, as you and I
know, the illness itself sometimes makes
it hard for someone to seek help. I know
my husband has a horrible time asking for
help and would rather do everything
himself. He feels that going back on meds
is a sign of weakness and just makes him
feel worse about himself.
As for whether or not leaving would help,
it may or may not. It could have the
opposite reaction and just solidify his
feelings of poor self-worth, which may not
help the relationship recover. However,
my husband and I had a counsellor (who was
horrible btw) who suggested I should leave
him so he "could learn to stand on his own
two feet." This fear did seem to motivate
him to continue seeking help and he
eventually found a solution that worked
for him. Ultimately though, I think you
need to do what is best for you too. If
he isn't willing to get some kind of help
(meds, therapy, etc.) maybe you need to
consider leaving.
Sorry this post was so long...I need to
learn to be more concise. Hope it helps
to know someone else shares your
frustration though.
