Anorexia, Adderall, And Insomnia Posted: 10-06-03 10:39am
I'm a college student on about 60mg of
adderall a day for add (20mg/3x/day). I'm
incredibly dependent on it and use it
primarily for weight control. I get
incredibly satisfaction out of how long I
can go without eating. I haven't been
sleeping at all either, I usually go a few
days without any sleep at all. Once in
awhile I get 4 or 5 hours worth of sleep
and then continue the cycle. I recently
fractured my rib from having a cold and
coughing too much/hard. I know my life is
spiraling out of control and once in
awhile I eat a considerable meal so my
friends can stop worrying so much. I
don't know what to do though, I refuse to
ask for help or acknowledge my situation.
I feel no desire to really change anything
but i'm scared and feel like there is no
one I can, or want to, talk to. I don't
know why i'm really posting this, I guess
I just wanted to share and see if anyone
else has ever had the same problems while
also using adderall or another type of
amphetamine. I was never like this before
I started using it. I'm depressed unless
i'm on it, mainly because it's harder to
restrict my food and I have a constant
fear of getting fatter. Stopping the
medication for a few months has never
seemed to help either. I'm sure all 3
problems are connected so I wasn't sure
which board to post on. Anyways, i'm not
really sure what i'm looking for so no
response is really necessary....
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srg29
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Posts: 5 Location: Houston
Need Help Posted: 10-07-03 21:26pm
Look, you know deep down you have a
problem. In reality you have a huge
problem. What you have is worse than
most drug problems. You are addicted to
drugs and your body is eating itself from
the inside out. If you didnt think you
had a problem you wouldnt have posted
this. Get help please. You can do it
without any friends knowing. I did with
cocaine. Knobody ever new. I dont have
any direct info. Keep searching though.
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chynadoll34
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2003 Posts: 9 Location: Detroit,MI
Hey Aleve777 Posted: 10-10-03 08:37am
What you need to do is go get some help
because in the long run you are going to
start to feel what you are doing. Get
your life on track and get some help.
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aleve777
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 6 Location: Nowhere
Motivation Posted: 10-10-03 14:37pm
Thanks for the advice but although I know
I should ask for "help", I feel no desire
or motivation to do so. I'm already
experiencing a lot of the negative
effects, broken bones in particular.
Honestly though, i'd rather break six more
ribs than do something about it. I know
how screwed up this sounds and even though
I know that this is not a normal/good way
to be feeling, I can't "connect myself" to
it. Does that make sense to anyone else?
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elle114
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 1 Location: NA
You're Not Alone Posted: 10-10-03 23:29pm
I came upon this website today and your
messages prompted me to become a member.
I wanted to reach out to you and let you
know that you are not alone. I am also a
college student who can identify with a
lot of what you are saying. I do not take
any meds so I can't really offer you any
advice with that, but I completely know
what you mean when you say that you feel
no desire or motivation to get help. You
and I both know that our behaviors are
unhealthy and abnormal, but if we did seek
help then that would mean that we would
have to start eating normally and even
risk gaining a few pounds. (many of you
out there probably have no idea how
horrible that thought seems to us). I'm
sorry that I don't have any great words of
wisdom for you but I just wanted to let
you know that I am hear to listen to
anything you need to get off your chest
and talk about. I will never judge you.
Take care and I hope that today is going
much better than yesterday and that
tomorrow is better than today.
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aleve777
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 6 Location: Nowhere
Posted: 10-25-03 21:26pm
I've been eating okay for the best week or
two, generally a meal a day...My friends
seemed to be pleased but I hated it.
While I enjoyed the food I hated myself
for it and i'm pissed because I feel so
fat now. I feel like my friends are
telling my I look skinnier because they
hope I will continue eating but I don't
see it, I feel the exact opposite. I am
disgusted with myself and i'm going to go
back to starving myself because I am
honestly happier that way. I don't
understand how it's a bad thing if it's
the only way I can be happy. One of my
friends is so skinny but she thinks she is
so fat and I don't think that is helping
anything. She tells me i'm skinny but I
know she's lying. I'm not saying it's her
fault, not at all. I just wish she would
stop freaking out about how fat she is
every time she eats, at least she can eat
and be skinny.
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LLA
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2003 Posts: 1 Location: southern california
I Can Relate to Your Situation Posted: 11-15-03 21:40pm
I am also a college student taking
adderall (40mg a day). I recently got a
perscription after trying some of my
roomates and liking the efffect it has on
me. I have add and adderall has
dramaticlly helped me in school. But I
will admitt that one of the main reasons
for wanting to get the perscription was
because I knew it would help me loose
weight. After being on it my eating
habbits have changed and I have lost
weight, and im actually happy. Or at
least happier than I was before.
Although it does make it really hard to
sleep. Not being able to sleep had the
worst effect on me. I felt stressed out
and nervous all the time and I also didnt
want to eat, socialize or really do
anything. But now I dont take adderall
after 5:30pm and sometimes take tylenol pm
and I am able to fall asleep. Once I
stated getting more sleep I felt a lot
better. I understand what you mean about
being depressed when your not on it. When
I dont take it I just want to cry and
sleep all day. I have had a problem with
depression before and before I started
taking adderall I was feeling really
depressed (most likely caused by breaking
up with my boyfriend of 4 years) and the
last thing I wanted was to feel like that
again. Adderall solved all of my
problems depression, trouble in school,
and I can finally loose weight. But even
though I have lost weight and want to
loose more I still eat, eventhough
sometimes I dont want to. I can relate to
what you are going through but I still
think you should change some things around
in your life. Not eating at all is just
going to make you end up in an
institiution. And I am going to tell you
something that I know I have a problem
with as well. I am extremely insecure,
and after reading your letter I got the
impression you were too becuase it almost
seemed as if I had written it. One of my
teachers advised me to talk to one of the
schools counselors. Im sure your
university has them as well. I think it
would be helpful if you checked it out, it
has helped me. Just try to eat more and
get some sleep. I dont know if this will
help you at all but I hope it does. It
made me feel better to know someone has
the same kind of problems that I do.
Your not alone.
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danielv
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2003 Posts: 79 Location: South East, Macedonia
Aderal, Weight Loss, Side Effects Posted: 11-15-03 22:05pm
Hi everyone!
In general taking unprescribed medication
becomes a problem not because it might
hurt you immediately, but because the
medications have side effects which may or
may not be worth dealing with depending on
your situation.
it's
kindof like drinking to get rid of a cold
- you might kill some bacterea, but you
wake up with a hangover, miss work, and
get the cold anyway. (3
consequences instead of 1).
Not being able to sleep really screws up
life.
If you are coming out of an er and you're
prescribed some hardcore drugs it would
make sense to take them because of your
situation at the time, but if you're
taking your roommates meds because you
enjoy the way they make you feel, you
might be setting yourself up for more
serious consequences.
I understand sensitivity to weight, and it
makes me curious if people would have the
same reaction to being underweight and
taking drugs.
I had a problem with being medically
underweight while growing up. If I
decided that I could do something about it
then by taking steroids it kinda sounds
more radical than taking speed
(amphetamines) to lose weight - although
its the same approach. The only
difference is that our society somehow
decided that being underweight was
prefered to being overweight, so my
problem was only pointed out by buff
athletic types rather than all of society
while I was just as unhealthy as someone
who was overweight. Western society is
pretty messed up like that, and its
nobody's fault. It just happened.
Now what am I going to do about it?
Overeat? Starve? Or enjoy my life and
try to stay healthy? It's a choice.
chemicals
are a temporary solution to some other
underlying problem.
actually, I felt guilty eating because we
could not afford much after moving to a
different country. The solution for me
had nothing to do with chemicals, but with
understanding my emotions.
Please see my post about side effects of
aderall under
forums
-> depression -> meds may not be the
best solution
best wishes...
Daniel
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 01-17-04 03:05am
Hun.. Adderall and an e/d are a terrible
mix.. Does your doc know about your
eating? When my doc found out he took me
off adderall imediantly.. It will only
make things worse. .And u shouldnt use it
for weight control. .That medication
w/out food can reeeally mess up your
body.. Put me in the hospital.
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cherim
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2004 Posts: 13 Location: Ontario, Canada
Need to Talk? Posted: 01-18-04 18:31pm
Hi! I just read the posting by aleve777.
My heart really goes out to you, I am
recovering from anorexia my self. 2 years
ago at this time I weighed 106 pounds and
my body was eating the little it had left
to continue going. My drug of choice was
different, but I think the result is the
same. I cannot tell you what the final
straw was for me other than realizing I
was going to die. I had bruises on my
tail bone from the bath tub and did not
have the energy to stand in the shower.
I have learned how to control my weight
other ways (healthy ways) if you would
like to hear more I would be more than
glad to help if I can. I would like to
know how much you weight right now?
|
recee22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Feb 2004 Posts: 1 Location: Ohio
Addicted to Adderall...addicted to Being Thin Posted: 02-27-04 17:05pm
I have an adderall addiction that is out
of control. I feel like I am smarter,
more alert, and able to not eat while I am
on it. The thing I love the most is the
not eating part. Before I got my
perscription I was at a healthy weight, I
was a little chubby and it made me feel
insecure. Once I started taking it I
could smoke weed and not get the munchies
and not feel tired, I was a star employee
at my job because all I wanted to do was
work, and my grades improved so much
because I would sit down to study and
nothing would keep me from finishing all
of my work and it made me not even think
about food. Well now that my addiction
is out of control I am disgustingly skinny
and eventhough I know this I don't want to
stop taking it because i'm afraid I will
get fat. Along with depriving myself of
food, I deprive myself of
sleep...Occassionally I will smoke weed to
help me fall asleep but that's curing one
addiction with another. And for the whole
feeling smarter thing....I have never been
so ditzy in my life. It makes sense why,
your brain needs food and sleep to
function properly!! I no longer have any
energy, so work is going down hill.
Honestly I started taking adderall because
I thought it improved who I was and it
made me feel so confident in myself...Now
because of adderall I am even more
insecure about myself because I feel like
hell and I know I look like hell. I'm
writing this to let people know that they
are not alone in this. I remember
thinking that I was probably one of the
few with this problem...I'm one of the
millions. I've just started taking
lexapro for my depression and i'm talking
to a therapist and i'm hopeing I can get
over this vicious endless cycle. I've
started to care about myself and that's
why I know I need to stop. People used
to give me advice all of the time but its
in one ear out the other. You won't be
able to help yourself until you realize
that you are worth something. Anyone who
had any self respect would not do this to
themselves because of the horrible things
it does to your body. I remember not
caring what happened to me and thinking
that no one cared....People do care, if
you don't see that then you are so deep in
depression and you need help. When you
realize that you are not a piece of crap
then you will stop treating yourself like
a piece of crap. Try setting short term
goals, don't wake up one day and say " I
am never taking adderall again!" though it
would be nice, if you are addicted then
it's likely that that is an unobtainable
goal. Try just taking a little less at
first. If you don't set hard to reach
goals then when you slip up you won't feel
like you screwed up once again. I
honestly think that adderall has changed
my personality...I'm a lot meaner, and I
am not a mean person. If you are
thinking about taking adderall to control
your weight or if you do it already you
need to stop because you will most likely
end up worse than you started. I am here
to talk to anyone who is going through
this...Talking to people is the best
medicine. I won't judge anyone and trust
me i've done the worst so you probably
wont surprise me. If you think just for
a second u might have a problem, chances
are you probably do. The first thing you
need to do is want to make yourself
better, if you're whole mind and heart
aren't into getting better then you
probably wont. Please everyone stay safe
and love yourselves....You'll benefit in
the end.
|
aleve777
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 6 Location: Nowhere
Posted: 02-29-04 04:09am
Wow...Ok, I hadn't checked this board in
months because I assumed my post had died
out....It was really comforting to see so
many replies and to know how many people
were going through similar experiences.
I'm not sure why I logged on tonight...I
think it has something to do with a bunch
of people coming up to me today and
telling me how much weight i've lost...
Especially my friend saying, "if you loose
any more weight, you are going to
die"....I don't get it...I don't see it at
all....I see the opposite, I think i've
gained weight and I can't comprehend how
people can see differently....So I
automatically assume that they just think
I have a problem and want me to be
healthier so they are lying to me about
how fat I really am. I am fat, I always
have been, I always will be....I just
doing it hate these cycles of being happy,
being fat, being happy, being fat....I am
definitely sleeping better..Well, all my
classes are in the afternoon so I can get
about 4-6hours a night...My grades have
improved although I did havea bit of a
rough patch and it was basically due to
the effects of starvation...Anyways, sorry
for the ramble, it was really nice to see
that people I don't even know understand
and cared....Part of my problem though is
that in order for people to really
genuienly care, you need to care about
them, and they need to know that you do
care....Too bad I would never let anyone
get close enough for me to care about
them, or to at least show it....The last
person I tried that with was a
manipulative problem who wasted 6 doing it
years of my life and cheated on me.....Ok,
major venting....Goodnight and thanks to
anyone who read this........
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mbost
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2004 Posts: 1 Location: arkansas
Girls Who Take Adderall to Lose Weight Posted: 06-10-04 14:25pm
Since so many of my friends have become
addicted to adderall because they lose
weight-- I have decided to research it and
see how widespread of a problem it is.
And also to see what other girls with the
same experiences have done. If you would
like to talk, please email or reply to
this post.
Keep your head up---we'll find a way out!
|
texasbu254
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2004 Posts: 2 Location: college
Response to Aleve777 And Anyone Else Posted: 06-29-04 14:41pm
I was prescribed to take 40 mg a day about
2 years ago and really felt like I had
become addicted to the high it gave me.
I'm 6' 2" and had gotten down to 155, not
on purpose, just bc you really do lose
your appetite. I felt I had to do
something so I didn't take it for about 3
days and worked out every day(which helps
alot) and now I can't even think about the
stuff. I'm up to 170 within 2 weeks.
Just try and get through 3 days and find
something that makes you feel good, and I
think that will help.
Wow, 60mg per day!? That seems like a
pretty high amount to me. It probably is
even dangerous if you're not under close
supervision by a doctor. Where are you
getting this stuff?! A doctor isn't going
to prescribe adderall for weight loss. I
lost ~ 15 lbs in ~ 30 days on 20mg! I
can't imagine being on 60mg--no way. The
fact of the matter is that you *need* to
inform your doctor of your addiction and
he will be more than happy to help wean
you off of the medication and refer you to
counseling. Unless you want to die early,
you will get help. You're the only one
who's in control of your body.
|
Cradossk
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Aug 2004 Posts: 1 Location: Little Rock
Re: I Can Relate to Your Situation Posted: 08-21-04 22:11pm
I have the same habit. I take forty mg a
day. Each morning I wake up I try so
hard not to take so much adderall but I
end up taking a little more periodically
during the day. I take it to suppress my
appetite. I tried to slowly stop my
addiction over summer break but have
started to take them again. I have lost
over 10 pounds. I needed to lose the
weight off that I gained when stopping the
pills. Adderall helps me to be
successful in school and look wonderful.
I never talk to anyone about my addiction.
None of my family members know that I
take it. I do not like being dependant
on adderall but can not stop taking them.
Its a great way to keep off the pounds,
have energy to work out, and study. At
night I always pop two execerderin pm and
sleep lightly until the morning.
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chillywilly
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 3
Adderall Posted: 12-04-04 19:01pm
Where could I get some adderall without a
prescription? Any links?
|
EkLc386
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jun 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Wilmington, NC
Re: Adderall Posted: 06-03-05 16:47pm
I just read this forum and joined. It
seems absolutely crazy how many people are
hooked on this stuff. And for most people
(def me) its not because they necessarily
like the way it makes them feel but
because it destroys your appetite. And
most of the abusers are also girls. Im 16
and go to a high school where drugs are a
huge problem. Someone got caught with
crack on campus the other day... Anyways,
I started datin this guy about a year and
a half ago and both of us were pretty
young. He didnt do anything bad at that
point and I was extremely sheltered.
After about 9 months I found out that my
boyfriend had smoked pot but it wasnt that
big of a deal to me. In the past 6 months
or so hes started hangin out with
different people (nice people, ive
actually hung out with a few of them) and
smokes weed alot and will occasionally pop
prescription pills. We broke up for abuot
a month and I remember he lost about 30 or
thirty pounds over the course of two
months and I always wondered how it came
off. I asked him and he told me that this
kid would always give him adderall for
free and hed take them and not feel hungry
and that was how he thought he lost it.
Well, at this point I had started to pop
my moms hydrocodones she kept lying around
since I was stressed about the breakup.
Then I started smoking weed partly because
I wanted my then ex boyfriend to think I
was cool and like me again and partly
because my mom smokes it and it was just
easy access. We did get back together and
from then on I would beg my boyfriend for
adderall (i was very insecure about my
weight even though it was very health) and
he always said no that it was bad for you.
Dont get the wrong impression im not
talking about poor trailor trash kids here
just doin drugs, my boyfriend was from a
repectable family and was just the typical
pothead. I'm from an extremely well to do
family and this was totally new to me.
Anyways finally after months of begging,
my boyfriend got me twenty-five 10 mg
adderalls. I loved the feeling it gave me
at first and I really really really loved
how it made my appetite disappear. After
I went through those I asked my boyfriend
for some more and after some more begging
on my part he got me fifty 30mgs. Writing
this down makes me sound so trashy and
crackhead like but tahts not how I am at
all, I dont skip school and I get straight
a's. Anways I started taking these things
every day and I lost weight and my test
grades went up but I also could not sleep
and I woudl crash emotionally pretty hard
every day and this caused major
relationship probs with my single mom. I
did lose weight and I loved it. I would
get very very very emotional about stuff
though and would cry over stupid stuff and
woudl get very worked up. After I finally
finished that bottle I stayed off it for a
while and actually was much much much
happier after the intitial three days of
crashing. Things improved dramatically.
I didnt get as good of grades and I
started to gain weight. Anyways while I
was off them I got along better with my
mom and didnt lash out or anything. I was
also smoking weed alot heavier so I got
the mumchies alot and did start to gain
weight. I hated this especially because I
knew that if I just had some adderall I
could lose it all fast. So I fought with
my boyfriend and he got me some more jsut
recently, and as soon as I started to take
them I started getting in more fights with
my mom and I feel more depressed. I want
them solely for weight loss and I now hate
the jumpy feeling they give me and I
really hate it taht I cant sleep but I
still keep on taking them to lose weight.
Its really a miracle weight loss drug but
the side effects are pretty serious. Just
to let people know the crash goes away
after like three days. Recently ive
gotten up in the morning and not wanted to
take it but I have knowing it will help me
lose weight. I know this is so unhealthy
but I can stop and I def cant ask for
help. Thanks for lettin me get this all
out, it feels great. Any suggestions
would be great....
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ILoveMyBaby
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jun 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Massachusettes
*really Amazed Right Now!! Posted: 06-03-05 17:26pm
Hi everyone!! :) I just happened to
"stumble" upon this website and started to
read it. I am absolutly amazed at how
many people feel the way I do. I guess I
would have never thought. I am 18 years
old and for the past few months I have
been taking my younger brothers adderall.
He told me that they decrease his
appetite and that he didnt like them.
Well, I took (1) 30mg one morning and I
loved the feeling. It wasnt a high
feeling it was just a feeling of goodness
(so to say). Anyways, the adderall made
me want to socialize more, made me more
talkitive, I was always in better moods, I
had way more energy and time just seemd to
go by so fast. The reason I liked it
most-- it made me not hungry. I loved
that feeling instantly. I'm a person whos
concerned about looks, weight and
appearance. I guess you can say ive
always been like that. So staying fit and
looking good is important to me. Taking 1
adderall a day gave me so much energy,
made me so much happier and decreased my
appetite like 110%-- now dont get me wrong
at all.. I dont take these to get high,
they just help me through my day. I never
thought anything of it untill recently
when I didnt have them for a few days. I
noticed I was less happy, less energetic
and sad to say cause it sounds so shallow
(and thats not me) but I felt fat. I
think I may be addicted to adderall or
atleast am on my way and to tell you the
truth it doesnt faze me. They only
improve the things that I do and like I
said b4, I dont take them to get high. I
wrote this in hopes that maybe someone in
my position (or like it) may want to talk
or even anyone with positive feedback.
Thanks guys! :d
|
tiamn2004
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2005 Posts: 11 Location: michigan
Hey Posted: 06-27-05 23:09pm
Hey im tia and when I was in school I took
adderall and I was adicited I took it
every day 2 to 3 times a day it made me
concintrate and alot more allert to things
every time I would tell myself im done
doing it my friend always came up to me to
buy some and at that point I was so
addicted I couldnt say no I never got any
sleep because of it I would snort it so it
would get to my blood faster I know what
you ae going threw I was I wouldnt say
annerexic but I would only eat one meal a
day because of my insicurity I finally
realized how stupid I was being and I took
control of it I have been clean for 3
years now and im eating healthier and I
could feel any better you really need to
get conrol of it befor it gets control of
you
