I never thought I was capable of
love...Let alone having my heart broken.
I am a 42 year old female, fairly
attractive, very independent,
successful....But i've lost the one guy
that I really wanted. He obviously
doesn't feel the same way about me. We
dated for about 5 years, and after the
first 2 years...I decided I was in love
with him.
He moved 550 miles away from me...And
appears to be totally happy. Lonely, but
happy. He spoke casually about me moving
there....To be with him, how i'd really
like it, how my kids woiuld like it....But
nothing ever came of it. We've seen
eachother twice since last april....And
the last time was last weekend.
I did tell him that I missed
him....Thought about him at least 20 times
a day....And doubted that I could see him
as "just a friend" . He thinks that
i'm taking everything way too seriously,
bein way too emotional. I feel he is
minimalizing my feelings...I want him more
than anything...Something that I can't
have. I wanna see him more....I'd move
in a aheart beat, but it would take me
time to build my business....And get on my
feet. He has decided that he is now
"undecided"...Not sure if he wants a real
relationship.
I know I have to move on....It's just
really hard. And since I just saw him a
week ago.... A little more emotional than
usual, I suppose.
Any advise....Anyone?
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sad one
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Colorado
Posted: 10-09-04 08:55am
Never again will I feel that passion that
we shared
never again will I bask in his glow
never again will he look at me like he
once did
when we were together, I truly believed
that he was a gift from god, that I was
truely destined to be with him, he made my
life so complete. I was so happy. It's
so unbelieveable to me still, that we've
gone our seperate ways.
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inverta
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Oct 2004 Posts: 13
Its So Hard Posted: 10-09-04 09:38am
I know how u feel...I was supposed to get
married on august 22 of this year...He
canceled 1 week before...His family has
always disliked me for really no reason
other than that they don't want to let him
go(of course, he's almost 32)...We were
planning on moving about 1500 miles away
together, now he left 1 1/2 weeks ago on
his own...Says he needs to get his life
together, be a responsible "man" and get
his own place...I got a job there and am
moving down but we will still be 6 hours
away from each other...I am also worried
that I may be pregnant...I can't imagine
ever being w/anyone else, and my heart has
been ripped apart...We talk every day and
I know he wants me there, yet he won't
tell his family or friends...If u want to
talk or email my email is inverta
@mindless.Com
i would be happy to be an ear or a
shoulder to cry on...Wish I could say it
gets better, but it sure hasn't yet for me
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sad one
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Colorado
Posted: 10-09-04 21:39pm
Thank u so much for the reply. I trly
thought that no one here really had any
kind of clue. I know that I am not
alone, and after reading your reply, I
must say that I feel somewhat lucky,
maybe because I am a little older, and
over the whole child thing. I cannot
even imagine what that would be like
anymore, when I was pregnant with my
children, I never had this feeling.
Anyways, thank u for the reply, I so hope
that everything in your life turns out ok.
As for my life....I've had my fun, and I
am not afraid of ...What is ahead. I do
hope that one day, I will find a totally
compatable soul, but I am definately not
gonna hold my breath, I truly believe that
that will never happen, I just gotta
find........Other things that make me
happy.
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broken
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2004 Posts: 6
Posted: 10-13-04 09:47am
Sad one, you have my extreme sympathy.
Until last week I believed everything in
my life was going fine. Married 24 years,
same job for 27 years, house, grown
children, grandchildren, etc. No
indication of any problems with my
marraige. Oct. 6th, I accidently
discovered an email from my wife (soon to
be ex-wife) to her lover...It was to say
at the least ,very graphic describing
there times together and how she couldn't
wait to be with him again.. Words cannot
adequetly explain the pain I felt and am
feeling. I confronted her and she denied
it at first, but when you have the proof
in your hand, its difficult to continue to
lie. She says it had been going on 2
months, but she has been unsatisfied with
me and our marriage for quite some time.
I told her I could forgive her, and we
could try to re-build our marriage, but
she wants no part of it. To sum up her
feelings, she told me she loves me, but is
not in love with me and never will be.
She is moving out tommorow, and I feel
like I want to die. I am hanging in
though, and I hope you find the strength
to do the same.
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Whitney4768
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 69 Location: va
Sad One Posted: 10-14-04 00:31am
You have to remember that love will find a
way back to your heart I never thought I
would find a true love I gave up I kept
getting my heart broken but if he was
meant for you then he would come back yea
you're doing the right thing I know it
might be hard at first but trust your
heart and its great that you are moving on
life can bring us sadness and depression
but the outcome can become good. The more
you think about him the more upset you are
going to be there is no use of thinking
about someone who doesnt feel the same way
sweetie. The only advice I can give you
is go out with friends get involved in
social activities and pretty soon you will
find a new love but never give your heart
away until you are ready if you do it will
be broek I learned the hard way now I met
the love of my life that im marrying july
2 2005 and I wish you luck and always
follow your dreams.
Whitney
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sad one
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Colorado
Posted: 10-14-04 06:05am
Thank you so much for the replies. I've
been doin mush better the last 2 weeks.
I still have momements of sadness, but I
really think I am finally accepting it.
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BADSAL
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2004 Posts: 257 Location: PA
Posted: 10-14-04 08:13am
I feel for you all. My situation is
rather different but hopefully you won't
judge me. I am married with kids.
Unfortunately I have fallen in love with
someone else. My husband is ok, we've
been married quite a while and we are
friends, but to me- that's about it. We
have grown apart. To him i'm still the
same person as when we met. He doesn't
realize who I am now. I hate to leave
because of the kids. Their life would be
torn apart just because I want to be with
the man I fell in love with. I feel I
owe it to my kids to stay and provide a
stable home for them. I think about my
lover everyday and what happiness I would
have with him. It is so sad and
confusing.
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Whitney4768
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 69 Location: va
Badsal Posted: 10-14-04 11:13am
What I would do is talk to your husband
and tell him how you feel, tell him that
you feel like we are growing apart tell
him how the kids would feel. And ask him
if he wants to be with you if he doesnt
then I would move on it seems as if you
found someone that doesnt treat you right.
Love can be hard and marriages can fall
apart. But through it all things will get
better I promise.
If you want to contact me on aol my screen
name is lilkisses85 or you can email me lil
cutie1285@hotmail.Com
i am open for any discussion
whitney
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Daile
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 319 Location: Missouri
Posted: 10-15-04 15:11pm
badsal
wrote:
i hate to leave because of
the kids. Their life would be torn
apart just because I want to be with the
man I fell in love with. I feel I owe
it to my kids to stay and provide a stable
home for
them.
you say you don't want to hurt them by
leaving, but staying will hurt them more.
My parents divorced when I was in third
grade, and yeah, at the time I was upset.
But now that i'm older I understand why it
happened, and i'm glad it did. Think of
it this way: when your children are older
and realize that the only reason you are
married to your husband is because of
them, how do you think they will feel.
They will know that you are miserable and
gave up your chance to be happy, and that
it's their fault (say what you will,
that's what they will believe). It would
be better to put them through a little
pain now then to make them live with your
bitterness the rest of their lives.
Eventually you won't be able to keep up
the charade, and will take it out on them,
because you will see them as the reason
you gave up on teh other man. Don't put
everyone through that!
Daile
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BADSAL
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2004 Posts: 257 Location: PA
Posted: 10-18-04 07:34am
I know what you say is true. My mom did
the same thing. She stayed with my dad
long after she no longer was happy. Then
when I graduated from high school they
finally got a divorce. Now here I am
doing the same thing. I just have this
feeling sometimes that it isn't all lost
and maybe when the kids are grown and we
have more time to ourselves and more time
to spend with each other that we will be
happy again.
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Daile
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 319 Location: Missouri
Posted: 10-20-04 03:04am
I wouldn't count on that working if I were
you. If you feel this strongly about
another man now, and decide to stay
married to your husband anyway, it most
likely won't change. After spending more
time with him, until your children are out
of the house, you'll probably just find
that there are more things about him that
bother you. Besides, if you're
contemplating leaving him now, what make
syou think it will all go away? Wouldn't
it be better to divorce him now than to
stay with him just in case it does work
out, and cheat on him the whole time??
