Teen Pregnancy Forum - Someone Please Help Me :*(

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Q: Someone Please Help Me :*(

asked by: oangelc543 on October 1st, 2004

Experienced User

Hii.. I wrote in awhile ago about possibly being pregnant.. Well I am. I went to the doctors earlier today, and I am.. I'm expieriencing all these emotions.. I'm afraid, i'm ready to throw up, I wanna be brave, I feel hopeless.. For a moment i'll feel like now I actually have a reason to live.. The next I just want to give up because I dont think I can handle the responsibility.. The last thing I would want is to hurt my own child..

But mostly, I feel so alone.. I used to look at girls who were only a little older then me who were pregnant and think how hard everything must be for them.. Now thats me.. I dont know what to think or say or do..

To make things worse, today is my ex boyfriend's 19th birthday.. And since I just turned 15.. The nurse told me he is going to be charged with something rape?.. Ive been to court and I dont like it.. This is going to be so hard..

I neeed someone to tell me please what do I do!

Replies(25)

linuxChique

replied on October 1st, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Statutory rape? If you don't want him charged, don't tell anyone who the father is. They can't charge him with something they don't know if he did. Tell him to deny that he is the father, and you do the same. Just refuse to admit who the father is.

Don't worry girl! Stick around, most of us are or have been in your shoes. You can do this.

FairyLexi

replied on October 1st, 2004

Experienced User

Hey, I know what your going through and its hard but just hang in there. During your pregnancy you'll start to see things differently and you'll figure out ways to make it in this world with a baby. Im 34 weeks and I still get scared sometimes but I know that there are tons of girls out there that did this on their own and there are many programs that help girls just like us. About the rape thing, I don't think they can charge him unless you say it was rape.

linuxChique

replied on October 1st, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Depending on what state you live in. Some states the so called "victim" doesn't have to participate. Some states can just throw the guy in jail even if she doesn't want to press charges.

FairyLexi

replied on October 1st, 2004

Experienced User

Wow, I didn't know that.

linuxChique

replied on October 1st, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

I found this about texas:

Quote:

family planning providers must effectively now report all cases of sexual contact that involve clients younger than 17, unless the client's partner is less than three years older than the client. (to protect their funding, family planning providers must document in the client's medical record that they have asked about the partner's age.) they must also report all cases of sexual contact that involve clients younger than 14, regardless of the partner's age.

from a couple of other things i've read about texas, they can just charge him like I was saying, even if you don't want them to. The health care facility you went to by law has to report your case to the government. If you told them he was 18 and you were 14 at the time sex occurred, yes, they can charge him with statutory rape. Your only hope now is if questioned, to say that you lied to the nurse about his age. Tell them you did it because you didn't want him to find out you cheated or something like that. Of course, you're also going to have to say that you never had sex with him. Then refuse to name the father.

Good luck! I hope things go the way you want them to...

Kia

replied on October 1st, 2004

Supporter

But if she wanted to claim child maintenance from the guy wouldn't she need to state who he is?
Oangelc543 - I really hope things work out for you

oangelc543

replied on October 1st, 2004

Experienced User

Thanks for fidning that info.. I really appreciate it.. Jeeze I hope they dont put him into jail..

I wish I knew that I wasn't supposed to tell them how old he is.. I just broke the news about the pregnancy to rob.. He is by no means thrilled.. Actually cursed a bit when I first told him.. Hung up.. He called me back.. I dont think he's mad.. Probably just as scared as I am

he wants me to get an abortion...At first I said absolutely not, but he kept saying all the things that would change and making me feel like I was ruining everyone's life if I keep my baby...

I hoped he would show more support.. Since I really have no one else to.. Except the people I talk to here in the forum

and also.. Does it cost money to go to the doctors during a pregnancy? I dont think I even have health insurance. I went to a teen clinic today, but I dont think they do all the check ups and stuff..

Kia

replied on October 1st, 2004

Supporter

Honey, really look into your options, termination isn't the only way and ulitmately the choice is your's not his or anyone else's.
Termination is not to be taken lightly, some say never - I won't say that, I have been there.
I was date-raped after my drinks were spiked (rhyphynol or possibly ghb), so admittedly my situation was a bit different, but the stress, emotions etc are all still very real.
If you want me to tell you more about my situation then pm me, as it is a very touchy subject.
Good luck take care

linuxChique

replied on October 1st, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

There are good government programs that you can get on like wic and medicaid that will pay for much of it. I'm not familiar with them because i'm using bcbs. But lots of the other girls here get them and from what I hear, they are a godsend!

And kia brought up a good point about if you lie about who the father is to protect him, you won't be able to get child support from him Confused

oangelc543

replied on October 1st, 2004

Experienced User

But if I dont lie about it.. They throw him in jail? How will he help me at all if he's in jail.. Its sort of a lose lose situation. I dont really know all the technicalities.. I wish I did.. I'm going to have a hard enough time understanding whats going on with my body.

linuxChique

replied on October 1st, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Well if he is willing to help then you can still accept money from him... What I mean is that you will not be able to take him to court yourself to make him pay. You just have to trust him that he will. And hopefully he will. Good luck!

FairyLexi

replied on October 1st, 2004

Experienced User

Yeah im on wic and medicaid. The medicaid covers all my doctor visits, my prenatal pills, dentist visits etc...And even the delivery fees. Wic is good too with that I can get some food for free but I also have a link card since I dont have anyone to help me out like that. The link card gives you a certain amount of money you can spend on food every month and you never have to pay it back. Also with wic sometimes they will give you things for the baby like I just got a brand new car seat.

oangelc543

replied on October 1st, 2004

Experienced User

Oh yea.. I understand the court thing.. I also hope he'll help, not sure.. Wic and medicaid sound like they are a lot of help.. Sorry I have a lot of questions.. But also.. Is anyone still continuing high school.. Aare u in high school..Like did u stay in school through your pregnancy? I'd like to keep going to school.. I could almost finish this year ( sophomore yr) before my due date I think..

But maybe it would be a better idea to just put it off and try to find a job so I can have money? Any adivce on this?

linuxChique

replied on October 1st, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

I'd stay in. It will probably be hard, but if you drop out, the chances of you ever going back are slim to none. I don't know how texas handles dropouts, but I know in ga you can drop out whenever after you turn 16. It may be worth looking in to getting your ged, but I hope you don't drop out unless you can get it.

oangelc543

replied on October 1st, 2004

Experienced User

I dont want to drop out at all.. After baby is born I dont see how I could possibly continue school normally but maybe I could find an alternative..

I know that finishing sophomore year is going to be hard being pregnant.. I just moved anyways, and this is a new school so people are already judging me. My high school is big, and there is not one single pregnant student that I know of.. I supose there could be some I dont kno, but neways.. Its not a common thing around here.

I'll look into ged

FairyLexi

replied on October 1st, 2004

Experienced User

Well I graduated b4 I got pregnant but maybe you can go to school until you start showing a lot and then finish with online classes if your school has that.

KariM1804

replied on October 2nd, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Hun u can do it u will be ok~ and the father doesnt have to be charged im sure u could get out of it, when I was 14 my parents found out I slept with my boyfriend at the time who was 18 and soon 19, they got the cops involved and I refused to sign so he never went~

GuitarJade

replied on October 2nd, 2004

Experienced User

The whole "jail" thing depends on where you live. Even if you don't want him to go to jail, some states will still press charges and your parents could too... With or without your permission (i'm the daughter of a lawyer and I just took a government class last year on all this stuff). I know that things are going to get hard, but hang in there. Stay in school... It's the best chance you have for you and your baby! Hope that everything pans out. Good luck.

jessamyn

replied on October 3rd, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

You can talk to me if you like i've been there
aim darlinjessa

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