I feel really unsafe having sex with just a condom, and I hate bringing birht control up to her, cause I think she gets offended, and always avoids the question, and always changes the subject. We obviously cant get our parents involved with it, cause they would kill us if they knew we were sexualy active, so money can be a problem. We found a place that gives birth control for free, but its quite the bus ride once a month, cause I dont think they give u anymore then a one month supply.
So what are our options, and do u have any tips???
First of all you shouldnt be having sex if your that young. But your going to anyway. It is your girlfriends body and she has the right to not take medication if she doesnt want to.Dont be so selfish and let her make the choice when she is good and ready. And by the way you can still get pregnant on bc if it isnt taken properly
I have a totally different opinion from the post above.
Anyways... I do agree that it is ultimately your girlfriend's choice, but birth control is a great thing. I do not think you are being selfish, because you are worried about having sex with just condoms, which is why I got on birth control. Sometimes condoms would break on me and my boyfriend, and buying the morning after pill is expensive, so we decided to get on bc. It is true that birth control is not 100% effective, but neither are condoms, especially when they break. Just explain to her why you think she should get on birth control. But do realize that if she does get on the pill her parents will probably find out at some point, because it's hard to hide a pill that you have to take everyday, especially because you should take it at the same time everyday in order for it to work best, no exceptions, it doesn't matter if you are siting on the dinner table, with mom, and grandma when it's time to take your pill, you have to take it. How old are you and your girlfriend?
But then you should not have sex if you don't want to take part of the responsibility to prevent yourself from getting pregnant. While you can't make her go on the pill, you can say you don't feel comfortable having sex anymore without that extra bit of protection.. Which is a perfectly logical reason and response.
2littlegirlz I am sorry to hear you had a bad experience with birth control but that is not a reason to advise against taking it for everyone.
The guy who made the post is being responsible.
Why don't you get a spermicidal lubriant (make sure it is not oil based as this can perish rubber/latex) that will help destroy any little spermies that could escape a broken condom.
Birth control pills/patch/shot are a great back up to condoms - just in case
usually pills are given in 3 months batches, most shots last 3 months and patches last a month I believe but I think you get given a 3 month supply.
Yes, it is her body and her choice, but good on you for wanting to be responsible. Personally if you don't feel adequately protected, keep your willy in your pants, hon
Personally I see it as a way to not have to wear a condom. I work with young mothers and a lot of them had the convincing of the boy friend for bc. And shortly after the condom was gone. Any way im not advising not to take it im all for it but it is up to her and pressure from her boyfriend just makes it even more difficult for her.
If your that concered best thing is to stop no more worries wait till you both are ready to face that pregnancy can happen no matter what. I started when I was 17 with all that I wish I could go back I would have waited till I was ready now im 21 and I realize how much worrying causes me to be stressed I wish I would have waited till I was older you don't have to worry if you don't have sex period. Birth contol has a lot of side affecks I was always to scared to take it.
2littlegirlz, no you didn't peeve me off lol.
I too had to try several different brands before I got the right one, and in the end the normal pill wasn't for me - migraines.
I had the mini pill, which only contains one hormone not 2.
I totally agree it is her body and for her to decide what she wants to do, but it is also nice to see a guy with concern that just a condom may not be enough, which was why I suggested spermicides as another precaution.
While 2 condoms is bad news because the friction between them is more likely to lead to tears/splits, a condom and a cap/diaphragm with spermicide will add to the protection, if the condom was to break/fall off.
I would never recommend stopping using condoms because she is on b/c. However, I did have to find hypo-allergenic condoms, because I was allergic to the rubber/latex in standard one's so sore afterwards (tmi).
But yes, although unlikely for most people, if you aren't prepared to accept a pregnancy then abstinence from sex is the only sure fire answer.
Even sterilisation isn't 100% - my mom concieved my youngest brother (16 now) after she had her tubes tied
I do agree that it is ultimately her choice, but a lot of the time the reason why girls are scared is because they are not well educated on what birth control really is. Before getting on birth control I went to the planned parenthood, and talked to one of the clinicians about everything I wanted to know, in addition I did my own research online, and got to know just about everything I needed to know, before making my decision, I decided to get on, I have been on yasmin for 4 months and I have no complaints it is great for me! So I guess I am lucky. I just think that maybe gman and his girlfriend should find out more about the possible birth control methods, and then she can make a decision based on what she learned. Like I said before I got on birth control because condoms did break on me, more than once, and that is just scary.
Your girlfriend not wanting to take hormonal birth control is a choice many women and girls make. Hormonal birth control is notorious for a long laundry list of side effects not the least of which include occurances like littlegirlz had, but much more commonly occurring are high rates of depression, major loss of libido, weight gain, and other problems generally associated with taking synthetic hormones into the system.
Condoms on the other hand, when used properly, are highly effective, and offer no side effects that will affect a person every single day they take the pill, regardless of sexual activity occurring that day or not. In my opinion the trade off is clear. Take a pill every single day just in case you may or may not have sex which makes you miserable and possibly induces other problems, or wrap up the jimmy at the time you have sex. If you're worried about a back up method, maybe you should look into a second barrier method such as a diaphragm or a sponge. Besides, condoms are the most effective protection against sti's being passed around. Far too many boys and men will forgo the condom because she's suddenly on a hormonal method, not at all thinking about disease potential.
Besides, condoms are the cheapest bc method out there.
While this is true, many are having sex on a regular, often daily basis.
And regardless of poor wording or anything else, the original poster should be rewarded for at least being concerned and not wanting an unplanned pregnancy.
true enough he is thinking responsibly. However if he were behaving responsibly he would not be engaging in sex as a minor and with a minor.
My husband wanted me to get on birth control and I opted not to. It's a good thing as now I have so many allergies and difficulties, those hormones would have had me with one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel.
yes, it is her body and her choice, but good on you for wanting to be responsible. Personally if you don't feel adequately protected, keep your willy in your pants, hon
I cannot believe how some of you are acting, you are making it seem like bc is the worst thing in the world. You need to understand everyone is different, and different pills have different effects on people. Many people are happy on bc sometimes you just have to try a few brands until you find one that works for you.
More surprising is how you guys are acting about sex, saying that gman and his girl shouldn't be having sex if they are so young, yet no one here even knows how old the boy is. And besides all of that you guys really need to stop acting like you were not having sex when you were young too. Come on now, we are in 2004. I am not saying that people should be having sex at 14 but I mean we do not even know how old the guy is. I am 19, and my boyfriend is 23, we have been together for two years, and yes I am sexually active and yes I am being responsible by taking bc, because I do not want to get pregnant because a condom broke, that's just stupid.
Once again I do agree that it is ultimately her choice, but because a baby will affect both of their lives I think gman has every right to talk to his girl about bc. It's not like he can shove them down her throat if she says no!...
when I was on bc I use to get bc for 6months
and I only had to pay 10 bucks for six months
so mabey you should try that and ask her ask her
if she would rather get pregnate and her mom and dad killing her or take a little pill everyday
If she is not comfortable taking bcpills, you should probably drop the subject.
Personally, I don't think the pill is completely safe, though there are many advantages to it (reduced risk of ovarian cancer being one). It's a huge shock to the body to introduce such high levels of hormones in a teen.
Might I suggest a diaphragm? It can be much easier to use than condoms and rather inexpensive over the long-term.
In my experience, the best birth control method is the one you use without fail. If you are used to condoms but are worried about back up, might I suggest a little spermicide in the condom? If the condom breaks, it's much less likely to cause pregnancy. I used condoms for 13 years with my husband and we never got pregnant.