It takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing and I think you deserve respect for that. I have no idea what you should say in your letter, but I wanted to tell you that I hope it goes well.

Hello-
I would just state the whole sitution. None of us here are the forum, know what you are feeling inside completely. I think you need to take a notebook and pen then sit at a table and write exactly how you feel. What your life is like right now..What you are up to. Talk about your expections, ask him how he feels about it. Include your phone number..Just say whatever you are feeling inside of your heart.
Hope this helps

-kristin nicole

Thanks lauren (that is ur name right?). This is a very big step that I am taking. I am just worried that the man that I consider to be my father will be hurt when he finds out what I am doing But its not like im trying to replace him or anything. Anyways, thanks for the response.

Oh and thanks to you too kristin.. I think that is what I will do. One day when I have the whole day to myself I will sit down and think about what I would like to say to him. Thanks for the advice

You might want to talk to your dad (the man you've always thought was your father) about what you're going to do before you do it. I'm sure he'll support you. My sister (half) was in a similar situation, but she always knew who her real dad was.

Ya, I think I will bring it up to him when I see him next.. Im sure he will be supportive. Thanks hun!

Ya girl, ive neverrrrrr everrrrr met my father! Ive never even seen pictures or anything, I didnt know his name till I wasl ike 14!~ my mom says he denied me so I have no reason to contact him. No reason to open that vulnerability...But ifyou want to ... Go for it!

I like kristens idea.

I wish you the best of luck hun! I hope everything works out well!

<3
gaby

I think a letter would be great huni, I would start by introducing yourself, whats you do and stuff and how you were told that he was in fact your father. Now you are at an age to find out for yourself! Tell him you have always wondered what it would be like to meet him and possibly how you feel/think about it. Basically what you told us is .G.R.E.A.T.
It's a scary prospect but stay positive make it easy for him and you as he is now meeting an adult not a little girl!

Hope it helps

sooz

Thanks girls! i'll start it soon and then let you all read it when im done to see what you think.

Once again I appreciate all the feedback you all have given me.

Umm partypooper maybe but please think a few things through before you go ahead.
What can this guy offer you?
What can you offer him? (maybe thats easy - his grandkids)
why do you feel the need to contact him? Is something missing in your life?
What if it turns out that he isn't your dad? What if your mom was elaborating or if maybe back when she thought you were his?

Having got past all that, I think a letter is a great way to proceed. Don't be offended or worried if you don't get a reply right away - it could be a really big shock o him and it may take him weeks or months to pluck up the courage to write/phone back.

If after say 10-12 wweks you have no reponse, send one more letter, saying that you would honestly like to get in touch - gives him that second chance, that "maybe she really does want to know me"

but don't hound him and force the contact.

I really hope this goes well for you and that everything turns out great.

I know the pain parents can cause, my mom and dad split when I was 18months old, both tried to get the other to have me (no it wasn't fighting over who got me - they both didin't want me!)
my nan took me and my dad in (my mom was 17, my dad 27!!!)
i didn't get to really see my mom then until I was 7 - apparently she did come over but I had been told she was a bad lady and I ran away from her??? I hardly saw her until I was about 17 and got my first horse - we spent quite a lot of time together. It all ended in tears.
Now we speak occasionally. Every so often I let her into my life, we have a few great weeks, then she lets me down again.
Last time, she wanted to be there for me and the baby, to be my birth partner, etc. Then I didn't hear from her for 10weeks. This time I am more withdrawn, I don't want anymore hurt, I am going to try and keep her at arms length, I don't think I want her close enough to hurt me again.

Hey hun. I know how you feel. And I think it was a good decision not to call him. I found out when I was 11 that my step dad wasnt my real father like I had been told all my life. So after about 3 1/2 years of thinking about it I decided to look him up and call him. This was while I was living in kentucky, maybe a week before I got pregnant. He still lived in the same house as he had 15 years before, which is creepy, because I lived 2 blocks away from there for almost 2 years. I used to ride my bike by there all the time when I was little. Never knowing that the guy inside was my father. So I called him, and asked the womam who answered for eddie. I asked him if he remembered a woman by my mothers name, and he said no. I asked him if he had ever been to the place where they met, and he said no. Now he may genuinely notn remember, or he might be lying. Or it could be his son, my half-brother, eddie jr. And it might be possible that my mom was lying or doesnt even know who my father is. It really upset me. I wanted to scream and call him a liar and bawly my eyes out and ask him why he didn't love me or want to take care of me. Sometimes I wish I had the guts to call him up and tell him he is a grandpa. I might not get a thing out of it, except the assurance that I tried, I let him know he had a daughter and a grandson, and that the option of being a part of the family had been given to him. I think that if you really want to, a letter would be a smart choice. I hope you get the outcome you want, and that he doesnt let you down.