my name is wendy, and I am new to this forum. Just wanted to introduce myself, and hopefully meet some new friends here.
Like I said, my name is wendy. I have been married for 13 yrs. We have two children. One girl, and one boy. Our son has cerebral palsy. He is only 4. I live in michigan.
I was dx'd bipolar depression sept. 20002. But suffered from depression well b4 this dx. I am on ssd. I use to be a physical therapist, and I miss my job very much, but, the depression was getting to the point of not making it in to work each day, and having major crying spells at work.
I'm on loads of anti-depressants, and mood stabalizers. They all help, but have not stopped my deprssive moods.
As you all know, life can be hard enough, w/o having depression on top of it all. It's a struggle to get up and dressed on most days.
Ok, i've rambled enough. Hope to get to know you all.
Well I just joined today. It's a prety cool forum. I just had a question regarding my finger? But any how I have started reading and replying. What makes you depressed, if you don't mind me asking? I have been through a lot of things myself. But I am just happy to be able to wake up every morning! God is good. Never forget that! Hope to hear from you soon!
What makes me depressed? I honestly don't know? I don't think I have situational depression. I think, for me, it's an imbalance in the brain. I feel like my meds are helping to stabalize that imbalance.
Bipolar/manic depression is a type of depression that can make rapid cycles from sadness, to high uphoria feelings. I have dealt with this most of my life. I just never had the name to it.
I understand about mood swings and depression, and not having situational depression...
One day it just feels like you can't get out of bed, but you do because you have to get to work. The next day you sleep in a few more minutes because even though you went to bed at 6pm, you're still exhausted and feel like you can't get up. Each day it gets worse until you're laying in bed all day and up all night...
Yeah i've been there.
My depression comes in the form of anger, though. I don't get sad and weepy and crying all day.. I get angry. I yell, scream, throw tantrums... I get p-o'd at every little thing...
The prozac has helped me emmensely.
After the first couple weeks (had some extreme highs) my doc put me on a mood stabilizer as well...
Everyone has good and bad days... Some days I just sit in my pajamas and watch tv all day... That's what weekends are for.
good luck, and know that there are plenty of us here with you, battling for a "normal" day..
edited to add - my depression is definitely chemical.... Of course some situations add to the chemical imbalance - creating breakdowns & other nasty stuff... Not fun, but i'm now able to deal with the situations instead of having a nasty chemical reaction to them.
It's hard to live with, and it's hard to discuss... The stigma with depression is that you're just having a bad day, like you can really control it... Depression is misconstrued like anorexia and bulemia used to be, "you could stop puking if you really wanted to...." it's not about wanting to be happy - it's about the body being physically depressed.
I have a seratonin reuptake problem if i'm not on my meds. That's hardly "wanting to stay depressed." it's a physical ailment that needs to be addressed, both with medication and with behavior mod. I have to consciously watch my anger and my feelings... I write in a journal every day when I can't handle the anger, and other days I don't write in it at all. The journal helps because it gets everything out in a way I can read later - and figure out why I felt the way I did at that moment.
I have depression, I won't deny it. Everything I experience makes me who I am, and I have no regrets. Sure, I made some stupid mistakes before I was diagnosed, but I chose those things... Life doesn't just happen to me, I choose how I want to live. If I want a successful and fulfilling life, I need to take my meds. If I want to just 'get by' and "hope for the best" then i'll go off my meds - but i'm a single parent, and I am not going to take a chance with my anger coming out at my son - I will not not not not not allow that to happen.
We can't just will away mental disease and disorders... They are biological and physical disorders. It's a disease like any other that requires medical care.
Most likely my son will have some sort of problem, my depressive episodes started in the 5th grade. I was tired all the time and slept in the nurse's office most afternoons... After that I would have episodes about every six months... The longest i've been in a depressive state has been a year. Of course at the time I didn't realize that I was depressed, until I almost punched a hole in my bedroom wall... My son was in the other room... He came in and said, "mommy, are you okay?" I hollered, "i'm fine!" that made me realize how bad it could get.
Two days later I found a psychologist and started my therapy. The next week I started with a psychiatrist and began my medication. It's been over three months now, and everyone is happier around me, it seems... I used to think everyone hated me, I was paranoid that people were plotting against me, it was horrible... Now I do excellent work and am always wearing a smile... I have good and bad days, but they're normal ups and downs, not extreme... A bad day consists of really not wanting to cook dinner and wanting a couple hours to myself to do nothing at all... Sounds quite normal.. a good day is spending the evening walking around the apartment complex with my son, singing songs, and not really caring that my son has just walked right through the muddy puddle and splashed mud all over my good pants... Also sounds quite normal.
sorry this is so long... Since I moved into my own place I haven't been able to really talk to anyone... Living an hour from my folks it's kinda hard to get used to....