Well, to begin I havn't trusted anyone for
a while. To be truthful I don't trust
anyone completly, but I do trust them in
some ways. I've had occational panic
attacks, aches in my heart, and sometimes
I just break down and start crying for no
reason or what I think is no reason. I
never had any problem trusting anyone at
first. I lived my life safe like that,
but now I have a girl friend. We have be
going out for about a year now, maybe a
little over and I just can't help but to
think she's cheating on me when I have no
evidence or anything. It's just a thought
that pops up in my head and won't leave.
I then get depressed, anxious, angry, have
hot flashes, or more then one of those.
I've been doing this for about 9 months
now I think, and its gotten progressively
worse. I already take medication for
seziures called trileptal, but I don't
think that has anything to do with it and
I would prefer not taking anymore
medication but if I have to I guess I have
to. If anyone can give me any advice on
this please tell me. I want to be able to
trust people, it's just not easy to do.
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amean94ta
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2004 Posts: 11 Location: erie,pa
Posted: 11-09-04 09:58am
You need to go look in the scitzopherena
forum (i know I messed up that spelling)
what you want I been up for 2 days lol.
I also felt the same way at one time
councling and meds are the only way to not
hurt her or yourself whether it be
physical or mental
Last edited by amean94ta on 11-10-04 02:46am; edited 1 time in total
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sami_1982
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Dec 2003 Posts: 200 Location: Australia
Trileptal = Paranoia Posted: 11-10-04 01:45am
Hello there. You say that you have
seizures. Are you an epileptic. I am I
have only been suffering from seizures for
1 yr now. I am also paranoid, aggressive,
stressed out, angry to the max at the
littlest things. I cry for no reason. I
have been told that I have temporal lobe
epilepsy. Its your medication doing this
to you. You are a normal person. Just
remember that you dont need to go to the
schitzophrenia forum. Try the epilepsy
forum. It may give you some answers that
you are looking for. Doctors dont listen.
Its how you feel inside. Email me
privatly if you want. I feel like you.
Like everyone is watching laughing and
joking talking behind your back. Your
mind just does it to you to make you have
a seizure. My seizures are pretty bad
they arent controlled well at all. I am
female, but it makes no difference. Its
our medication. Dont think why hasnt it
ever happened sooner if you have had other
medications. Trileptal, is a bad drug.
Read about its effects. At this web site
mate. And remember no one will hurt you.
Its easy to say but hard to believe I
know.
Www.Webmd.Com
take care
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Leirononnoth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Sep 2004 Posts: 4 Location: US
Thank You Posted: 11-10-04 09:21am
Thank you for all your help. Just to
inform you all I don't believe I have
schitzophrenia or whatever, and I know I
don't have epilepsy yet.
Thank you again
|
CoolMind
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 6 Location: Australia
Posted: 11-12-04 14:22pm
Hi leirononnoth,
mate you are stressing out and killing
yourself over nothing.
I think the mind likes to create problems
in ones life. I feel for you mate and
know how you feel.
Tell me if I am right and this is how you
are feeling:
no matter what your girlfriend says, no
matter what the evidence, no matter how
ridiculous it is, and no matter what your
friends tell you... Your mind
continuously convinces you that something
is wrong and gets you worried.
Almost as if your mind loves to cause you
pain. And so you suffer and suffer and
are a slave to your negative
thoughts...Even though you know the
thoughts are ridiculous
well listen to me... You can beat it!!
Be positive,
take it as a challenge upon yourself.
Say to yourself you are not going to live
in worry like this no more.
There are so many things you can do and
there is so much advice I can give you
that is going through my head I don't know
if I can type it all!! Ok let me try and
break this down
1) trust. You are killing yourself over
whether you trust someone or not. Think
of it in context, people are sufferring
all over the world with really really bad
problems, starvation, cancer, aids, you
name it.
Think of all the good things you have in
your life. Value it.
2) relax. Spend time with your self. Go
on evening walks. Meditate. Don't watch
tv.
3) seems like trust is a weakness you
have. So work on it. Go out and trust
ppl. And so what if you got betrayed.
Work on being strong that you are self
sufficient that even if you ppl betrayed
you can still manage fine by yourself.
4) its not so bad to even talk about it
with your partner. She won't think you
are a weirdo. Tell her "look I know this
sounds really stupid, but I have this
anxeity thing and I think all kinds of
nonsense, and I don't know why! ...And I
know this is stupid but my mind doesnt
seem to trust ppl....And I get anxiety and
fearful that you might leave me..... I
know it is silly,...But your reassurance
well help me get through it"
use option number 4 with care. Because
in my experience the mind is completely
crazy and comes up with new issues and
anxieties to replace the old ones (because
it likes to worry!!)
option number 4 might not solve the
problem longterm.
Good luck mate
may god bless you and relieve you of your
pain
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sbm
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 3
Posted: 12-06-05 12:31pm
I've been feeling very similar to this
first -poster...
I've suffered from anxiety and depression
before, but never like I do now. I've
always been able to pick myself up before,
but right now I just can't. It's
horrible.
In the last few months my life has become
100% about other people. I have a very
demanding, stressful job, but I also
co-run a couple of very busy online
forums, have been trying to write a book
and have emails flying in every other
minute. I literally barely get a minute
to myself.
I've been with my partner for over four
years, and she's great and very
understanding. Recently, with work, I
went to a party that involved lots of free
drinks. Somehow, I totally let go and
overdid it, and felt as though i'd had a
great night. The next day I was hungover
and hazy, but fine.
A day or so later, that weekend, I began
to get totally paranoid. I work in an
office full of women, so was out with 'the
girls' from work. One of my workmates,
who i'm good friends with, and I spent
most of the evening closely chatting and
laughing together. We had a great time,
linked arms on the way home and generally
had a lot of fun. I know that I was
probably friendlier than usual, but I know
for sure that nothing happened, despite
the drink, as I remember almost all of it
and there's been no funny vibes. Yet,
despite this, I become totally paranoid.
I have never been with anybody other than
my partner, and would know deep inside if
I had- I know nothing did. Somehow, that
weekend, a voice started popping up in my
head telling me that things did happen.
It's become worse and worse- I had about a
week without this feeling- over the last
three or four weeks. Whenever I am calm
and rational, I know, 100% without doubt,
that nothing did happen, yet, whenever
this thought enters my head, it's like i'm
going insane. I pace round inside my own
head screaming at myself, get angry, hot
flushes, sweating and panicky. It is
utterly horrible.
I know this is some form of parnoia or
similar because i've been feeling like it
about other things. When I was a kid I
was bullied, and had no confidence. Now
i'm in a tough job that requires me to be
confident, and I have been, but this is
tearing me apart.
There were a number of recent incidents I
can cite that may have something to do
with this...
I was very nearly mugged at knifepoint. I
managed to see off my attackers, but my
confidence has dropped horribly since
because I didn't physically defend myself-
I more ran away and I feel like a failure
i was out christmas shopping with my
partner recently and pretty much got
attacked for no reason by a much older,
bigger man. He didn't hit me, but he very
nearly did, and I was angry, hurt and
terrified afterwards
this incident at the party
i can no longer hold my drink well at all,
and seem to just drink ridiculously
quickly for no reason
i also recently had a flu jab due to
repeated illness, but still get frequently
unwell
the stresses of my job/vocational work
as well as being paranoid about that
incident, I also feel immense guilt about
everything. I feel like a failure,
worthless and a fraud for being in such a
good job. I worry about money, my health,
pleasing everybody...
This is utterly, utterly horrible and
unbearable. Last night was the worst yet
as I woke up in bed screaming inside. I
normally sleep well, recently i've barely
been sleeping at all.
I understand i'm new to this forum and
this is a big ask, but any help or advice
would be amazing...You may be saving my
sanity
|
Leirononnoth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Sep 2004 Posts: 4 Location: US
My Two Cents Posted: 12-07-05 18:00pm
Hello
something has happened to me,
somewhat recently, that has really shook
my life up, but i've been picking myself
up. My girlfriend and I broke up mostly
because of me I believe, but before we
broke up I acted similar to you in the
aspect that my life wasn't my own. I
would constantly be hanging out with her,
sneaking over to her house at night,
hanging out with my friends, working at my
job, or going to school(which is another
place I hung out with her, and my
friends). I never really had time for
myself, and when I did have time for
myself, I would always seem to get
depressed, or anxious, sometimes I would
fall to the ground crying for what seems
to be no reason at all. What happened was
is I just became so paranoid and scared
that I eventually drove my girlfriend
away, and she went to another man. After
we broke up I had a rough start, but after
a while I started doing things I wanted to
do since I had more free time, and also
figured out better ways for me to relax.
I guess the point of the story i'm trying
to tell you is that you may need to find
some time for yourself, start doing some
things that might interest you. Try to
have more of a balance in your life.
Balance between you, your girlfriend, your
friends, your job, and any other part of
your life thats important. Now after I
found time for myself I don't have panic
attacks. I still have some depression and
anxiety, but it's nothing like it was
before. I'm not saying that this will
work for you, but if it sounds like what I
was saying was true then what could it
hurt to try it.
|
sbm
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 3
Posted: 12-08-05 05:41am
Hi leirononnoth thanks for your reply and
advice, I really, really appreciate
it...
It's been a long, hard few weeks, really
tough, but i'm starting to see a little
light at the end of the tunnel.
I returned this morning, by accident, to
'the scene of the crime'- the road where I
thought, in my mind's eye, 'something' had
happened. Amazingly, though i've walked
that route thousands of times, my mind had
it completely wrong. Clearly, nothing
happened there- i've got some 'dream-like'
vision of the place that is so far off
it's unreal...How odd that your mind could
trick you like that??? The logical side
of my brain is now convinced, but I am
still trying to quell the paranoia.
I had a looong chat with my partner the
other night, after posting that message,
and explained everything i'd just
written-the whole lot. She said she knew
it wasn't true and loved,s upported and
believed in me 100%. That was amazing,
even though, in my confused state, it did
somehow make me feel a little worse even,
until today's events. I'm so glad to put
some of it to rest at last.
Like what you said, leirononnoth, we
talked about cutting down my workload and
making time for me. I've actually been in
bed at a reasonable time the last three
nights, i've had long chats with her, been
out for walks and only spent minimal time
on the internet in the evenings. I even
took a lunchbreak yesterday at work.
Even though I still feel very paranoid,
panicked and shaky, I undeniably feel much
better. Hopefully, I can stay strong and
this will continue for me. It's bizarre
because, having suffered depression and
anxiety before and always having dealt
with it 100% by myself, with no outside
help, I just couldn't this time. Despite
always being so anti-medication it's
unreal, I nearly asked my doctor for
something to stop the thoughts. It's
scary, but it's been a long, long build
up- on top of everythign I wrote earlier,
there's money worries, work worries, my
family having broken down and being at
war, we're getting married in 2007...So,
so many things on my mind. Now i'm
starting to feel much more settled
again.
It was amazing reading this- I hadn't
realised that your first post was in
2004...You've come so far and done
remarkably well, you really must be
applauded for that. Stay strong, and
thanks for a quick, kind reply :)
