Teen Pregnancy Forum - the End to My Paper! Please~
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the End to My Paper! Please~

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smith8500

Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 6623
Location: Louisiana
the End to My Paper! Please~
Posted: 09-19-04 17:47pm

Kristin and I have my paper almost all done. Can you help with the ending?
Here's the paper so far:

men’s minds are like filing cabinets, they take one folder out at a time, while women are multitaskers and they can look at many folders while driving and drinking their coffee. Women are expected to keep the house clean, raise the kids, and have a hot supper waiting every night for when her husband comes home. What men fail to remember is that while they were at work, their wife was at work also. She worked from nine to five then performed all the duties mentioned above, but if something is not done right men tend to fly off the handle and get angry.
I’ve seen this very thing happen in my own house. My mother will put in a full day of work, come home, cook supper, get homework done with the kids, and make sure the house is clean. My dad comes in from work and one little thing was not done right and he goes off whining about how she “does nothing all day” and “should do more”. Maybe if he would stop for a second he would look around and see all she did do and not what she did not do.
I know pregnant women also get treated badly because the men do not understand what it is like to be pregnant. This woman walks around all day with a huge stomach and a child moving in there and yet, when all she wants to do is sit down at night, she gets accused of being “lazy” and “not giving her husband the attention he deserves“. The problem is that men do not understand the first thing about pregnancy beyond the point of conception.
What about mothers who home school? Men come home from work and the children are still in their pajamas. What does he think? He figures they were allowed to goof off all day and do nothing when really, his wife was busting her behind to nourish their minds with what they need in the real world to succeed. Home schooling is a full time job. These women not only kiss their children’s boo boos, but they are also a teacher who fills their brains with book smarts.
Whoever said men and women are equal must have been blind.
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Michelle1337

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 1739
Location: Houston, Texas

Posted: 09-19-04 18:05pm

I dunno how to help you with th ending, because i'm not so great at this stuff. But I thought i'd tell you that its really good. Good job! Laughing
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sweetsuzi

Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 May 2004
Posts: 831
Location: Bonny Scotland

Posted: 09-19-04 18:12pm

What subject is the essay for, I take it isnt a personal essay
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Michelle1337

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 1739
Location: Houston, Texas

Posted: 09-19-04 18:41pm

You do change between persons a lot though. The first paragraph your in third person, the second your in 1st and then in 3rd again. I dunno if your teacher is gonna grade that. But its something I noticed
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