It could be both.
jen

I agree with jen. Must be both.

Patrick

I am having the exact same problem I used to be so up and all and no i'm just blah....

If you just started the meds, it is them. After a while yo will feel more normal (as if bi-polar ppl know what that is). I am bipolar.... I was diagnosed about a year ago. Since my diagnosis, I have seen myself get better, but worse...The laziness has kicked back in, and once again, I am feeling sorry for myself.

Hi.
There was no list as to what you are taking. Or how long and how much. I'm bipolar, I was diagnosed 11 years ago and I think I have tried every drug in the drs. Drawer.

I was diagnosed w/ bp about 4 years ago. I can't seem to stop getting depressed and it totally screws up my life. It seems the depression gets worse every time. It seems like it will never end and life will never get better. I have taken many medications. Does it ever get better?

Hi, I am jen and I have been diagnosed bipolar for 3 years . I also am a recovering alcoholic and addict with a few 24 hours of sobriety. I am walking, living proof that you can manage your bipolar and the meds side effects and be up without being manic and down without being depressed. I got into a 12-step program for my sustance abuse problems, and lo and behold the principals and people in those 12-step meetings have taught me how to deal with my bipolar and my anxiety and depression. I also suffer from panic attacks and generalized anxiety disorder, but all of those things seem to be under control and have been since I started attending those meetings and started talking to people who are exactly like me in the respect that they deal with sustance issues and bipolar disorder all with the same 12 set of principals. If you haven't given this a try, ask your Dr. About it. I am sure he/she will give you good advice. Good luck to you.Jen

Hi.

Although I don't suffer from bipolar, I was on depakote for 8 months for migraine prevention.

I was very sluggish and had no energy. It was a mind numbing drug. It also made me gain weight. Not a welcome side effect.

My neurologist has changed my migraine prevention meds, but now I have to get used to the new meds and their associated side effects! If they can cut down the number of migraines per month or per week, i'm a happy camper.

Hi yes I do suffer from bipolar disorder but I was wonder do all meds work mine work for a period of time then stop working and I get more depressed and more angry then I did when I was not on them !

It can take a long time to get your medication and you symptoms under control. I took lithium for 6-8 months and was a slug. It did control my mania, which was my biggest problem, but I felt like doing nothing. Luckily, I had a very good doctor who listened to my needs and wants and was willing to try new things. You definitely need close monitoring while trying new meds to make sure they work and/or don't make things worse.

I found that an anti-seizure drug called lamictal, really worked for me without the sluggishness. I hated the black and white feeling that lithium gave me, no joy, no sorrow, no nothing! They had a doctor on "the view" about a month age talking about the best new medical breakthroughs in prescription drugs, and lamictal was one of the top ten new best things. You have to start slow and work your way up, or you'll have side effects like a bad rash. Again, it is all about doctor monitoring.

Mia

mia

I was diagnosed with bipolar a yr and a half ago. I still haven't found the right mix of meds and am sleepy or sluggish all the time. It really take a big toll on my life especially with my relationship. If anyone has any new info on how to better this please let me know!

Tabby

I too have suffered from migrains my entire life. With the help of my psychiatrist who also specializes in pain management, I was able to control the bi-polar and migraines with the anti-seizure drug lamictal. I posted on another topic about it, but i'll repeat.

A month ago on "the view" they had a doctor talking about the newest breakthroughs in medicine. Lamictal was one of the top 10 best new treatments! It was offering hope to people to have not done well on other meds or who did not like the way they felt on drugs like lithium.

I for one can attest to the miracle of this drug. You don't feel like a zombie like so many of the other medications can make you feel.

I wish everyone the best of luck finding what works for them. It is important to remember that how you live your everyday life has a big influence on your bi-polar disorder. You must always get enough sleep, in a consistant manner like going to bed around the same time everyday. Eating at regular intervals during the day so that your blood sugar is kept at a normal level. Not doing recreational drugs, they really make depression and mania much worse. Alcohol can also make things worse. I'm not saying deprive yourself of the occasional beer or wine, but drinking too much makes manic-depression worse, much worse.
And if you feel yourself starting to get really depressed or super manic it is really important that you talk to someone like your family doctor , a counselor, someone at a health clinic or your church or synagoge. Most of these people can either help you or direct you to someone that can.

Mia

Hi, my name is suzanne. I was diagnosed bipolar several years ago. I have been on new meds for over a year now. Depakote, neurontin, and prozac.
I can relate to the people that talk about being sluggish, and tired all of the time. I am one of them. I am also, still very very depressed. I think of dying every day. But, something keeps me going. I guess I keep hoping that a miracle will occur, and one day I will wake up feeling refreshed and raring to go. Oh.....What I would give to feel that way for just one day. If not for me, for my childrens sake.
I dont know who is suffering worse, me, or my children.
I have begged my Dr. To change my meds. And each time, he says, well, we have to take a depakote level first, and then we will see. And, each month comes around, and no changes.
Its not like I can just go see a new Dr. I am on ssi for my bipolar, and I have to go to this particular one....
I do not mean to ramble, its just that its very nice to be able to talk to other women about this, and to be able to relate. It makes you feel not so alone.
I wanted to mention too, that since I started these certain meds, 1 1/2 years ago, I have daily nightmares. I cannot remember the last time that I had a fairly good dream. I always remember my nightmares, and they are always very realistic, scary....And I am to the point now, that I will stay up for several days at a time, to avoid going to sleep. When I do sleep these days....Its out of pure exaustion.
Anyone else have this problem?

Thanks,

Hello,
you sound a bit like me. Except I have major depression. I am on 150mg of effoxor over 3 months and have added 400mg sam-e for about 1-1/2 weeks. The effexor does more than the other meds ive tried, but not enough. My pharmasist said sam-e is ok with effexor. For over a year now -i am tired alot. About 3 times a week I get 12- 15 hours of sleep a day. I get 7-8 hours the rest of the week. Which is more than enough sleep. Although I feel like I could sleep forever most of the time. I cant blame the meds either. Ive had my blood tested and im ok that way to. I used to have alot of energy, I couldn't sit still. I dont know what happened. Lots of coffee doesnt help either.

I know someone like you, she was on depokote, was sedated all the time from it and she gained alot of weight real fast. And could not function. The prescribing doctor, would not help her with these problems. Since she quit the med and the doctor and is doing good for the last 4-5months. She doesnt think her mental problems were ever bi-polor, if they were they say it gets worse over the years, not better. Hopefully she is cured of whatever she did have. But she is still stuck with the 40 pounds she gained.

I dont mean to ramble either, but I think thats what a forum is all about, so ramble away, right ? It is nice to talk to others. I am very lonely and isolated (by my own choice I guess).

I also get very realistic, frustrating dreams to, since I started effexor, although this is a side effect of this med. I dream alot to. Normally I used to either not dream much at all or could never remember my dreams. Now its like they are really happening and they are clear and make more sense than normal dreams where you can fly and stuff. Its like you dont sleep very well because your busy all night with your dreaming.

Anyway, this is my old post to the depression forum. As you can see im in a real bad way in my life. I almost feel I shouldnt post anything because I certainly aint gona help anyone with this kind of talk, right ?

Thanks for letting me ramble.
__________________________________________ _________________

old post ======

posted: 02-18-04 10:57am

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i have tried suicide about 6-12 times. I have been begging god to let me die, and asking him to let me know he's there, and that he is real . I always come to the same conclusion = if there is a god, how can he let anyone suffer, and beg for help (any kind of help ), for so long (over 1/3 of a century) ???????? God has never replied. The last time I tried suicide, in august 2003- I took 20 some sleeping pills with lots of alchohol, and went and layed out on a grassy hillside in the summer sun to die. Well = god didn't show and I am still alive, being torchered. I cant take it no more. Been on 6 different antidepressants in the past 2 years. I quit the job I loved. I have no hope. I have no goals, no desires. What can I possibly do, besides the obvious ?????



Any suggestions anyone ?????????

I read your words and it's if I am reading my own......How sad.
Your right, this does help to not feel so alone...Accept, I as well as you, have chosen to remain this way. I keep to myself. I only go to the grocery store at night.
And, I barely see my children, or any of my family for that matter. I have no friends.
But, yet I am the one choosing to live my life this way.....Or am i?
Want to know the real reason that I dont commit suicide? It's because I am afraid of going to hell.
I keep begging god to help me, to show me that he exists, and yet I am still suffering. And yet everyone that comes around me suffers.
If there is no god, then why should I "not" kill myself.....
Do not worry this is not a suicide help letter. I am only talking about what I feel most of the time.
Anyway, I tried to stop taking my meds almost a year ago. Because of the way that they make me feel. I had a seizure. I do not remember it, but I do remember waking up in the hospital, and not being able to talk, or move. I guess that lasted about a half hour or so. They said it was from the seizure. It scared me alot. The Dr. Thought it was because I went cold turkey on my meds. So I will never do that again.
Thanks for responding, its great to talk to someone about this.
Dont you find it easier than talking face to face with someone? Or on the phone? I hate doing both.
Talk soon,
suzanne

I am so sorry that you both feel so bad! Just so you know, I am bi-polar and live a fairly normal life. Of course, what is normal? But I am married, have friends, and go to work full time. I'm not saying I haven't had my share of problems in the past, but my life seems to be on "track" now.

The first thing you both need to do, is look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth the effort. If you don't believe it, say it again and again and again until you start to believe it. Now act on it! Do something pro-active to improve your current situation. If you don't like your medicine, tell your doctor, if he doesn't listen, tell a doctor that will. Someone said something about not being able to see another doctor because they are on ssi, b.S! Find out who you need to talk to to be able to switch doctors. Make some noise, the squeeky wheel gets the grease! Stand up for yourself, because there might not be someone else to stand up for you. If you know someone that can or will help you, ask for help! People don't always know you are in trouble if you don't tell them. They are not mind readers.

The problems with being bi-polar is paranoia (sp?), self doubt, the isolation it instills in us, and self loathing. Love yourself, even in your unperfect state. Don't wait for god to answer your prayers, answer your own. God is with you, but it is your job to live your life. Find a way to elevated your love of self. Repeat to yourself "i am worth loving and I am worth living." it takes 21 days to form a habit, repeat this for 21 days and see if you don't start believing in yourself.

Then take a walk. Take a walk often. It doesn't have to be a long walk. It doesn't have to be a fast walk. It just has to be a walk to clear your heart and your head and get your body energized. On these walks, take a look around you. There are many things to be thankful for, a blade of grass, a flower, a bird, the sun. Take pleasure in something small and eventually, you can take pleasure in your life again. You just have to beleive that it is possible.

I hope that you can find something to improve your situation in life. I check in here every few days if you need someone to correspond with.

Best of luck

mia

Yes, I agree with much of mia's advice: take some walks & appreciate what we have - grass, flowers, sky, freedoms, love etc; also reteach yourself how to love & appreciate yourself; also make alot of noise & really insist with everyone from politicians to receptionists that you will not stay on this med the nightmares alone are too much to put up with, much less the fact that you're not having the quality of life you should!!

Further, every chance you get smile :d , a smile really does release chemicals in us that make us feel better :d so put some smilies up around the house & :d then every time (yes everytime) you look in the mirroe smile :d it's like the telling yourself you are worth the effort, it takes some work some repetition & just abit of patience but both it & you are worth it!! :d

as to meds in general, check out the net, search engines are there for just this purpose, & see what the side effects are, what the alternative meds are & whether there are any natural alternatives that might be better for you or which might improve your situation in conjunction with meds. I recommend sam-e, 5htp (tryptophan), vitamin b's & for some dhea, there are tonnes of others out there plus herbalists, naturopaths & homeopaths. Search the web & also research your symptoms & see if you feel that your diagnosis is correct.

Cbt & support groups as well as things like 12 step programmes all have uses, but as we are all unique we have to find what we feel is right for us, although sometimes that means trying alot of things befroe finding the right thing or right combination of things.

As to saying you're rambling & not helping people, garbage, we all ramble & need to, we also need to see others ramble that's one way we know we're not alone in how we feel & if rambling helps then isn't help what we're here for??!! :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d

Trust me mia, I know exactly what you are saying. In fact, you arent telling me anything different then what I tell women just like "us" every single day.
Sad thing is, easier said than done. I wish to god that I could live by the advice I give. It's so much easier when you are on the outside looking in.

If I wasnt so afraid of the outside world, I just might take that walk mia...

Tell me...What is it like to be able to appreciate a blade of grass? Tell me what it is like to be able to appreciate being alive.

I am in no way being sarcastic, I am here for answers. I am sick and tired of suffering, and I am scared that I wont hold on anymore....

Every single day of my life, I help people. (geocities.Com/survivorswall)
I just cannot seem to help myself.

Im tired. Ya know?

Thankyou for the advice mia, its nice to know that there is someone that cares, and tries to understand...


Suzanne

Suzanne,

if you really can not get outside to appreciate things then look out the window or watch it on tv - look at small children (even on tv) & how can anyone not look at a small child or baby & not see a miracle & not smile??

I know exactly what you mean about it being easier to give than to act on advice but you have to try, just take baby steps; like :d yep, now just do it smile :d then think about how you felt when you did it, you felt better didn't you (maybe not great but better than you did just before you smiled).

That is a baby step. Do that as often as possible everyday & put smilies up around your home, smile at ourself in the mirror as often as possible & say that you are worthwhile. These are baby steps & you can gradually build up to the rest.