Bipolar Disorder Forum - Husband Refuses All Treatment

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Q: Husband Refuses All Treatment

asked by: Annie on October 2nd, 2003

New User

Hi-
i am a spouse of a man that most everyone agrees is bi-polar or something real close....Extreme mood changes that are cycling and drove me from my home because it has become so very abusive verbally at least....Problem is he absolutely says there is nothing wrong with himself....About 20 years ago he shot himself in the head to commit suicide...Minor injury but dire consquences because the brain swelling caused him to loose speech and motor skills..Today after years of rehab he can talk and walk with some difficulty but can function close to normal...His brain has swollen recently coz the plug in head is popping up so to speak- so I thought this might contribute to the mood swings...He absolutely refused to see a Dr. And the cycling has continued and has gotten much much worse....Several people have tried to reach him..Pastor,wife,friend,parents and he just blames me for all his blow ups- even though we really have never had a fight prior to one of these...Things can be absolutely wonderful and one day he just wakes up in a foul foul mood that gets worse over a one to day period and than all hell brakes loose....Saddely I have only been with him married since 7/4/03 and since then about every 2-3 weeks he blows up and either kicks me out of our home or makes life so very impossible I have to leave....I feel as though I am mouring some one who has passed away....I can not reach him and he is so very content to not hear from me as to not answer the phone...Mental health clinic here has been calling to invite him in for alittle talk but he never answers so they never do anything...They say they will let me know what happens---but I am in transition until I know whats up---i want to try and help him out of this--if he will seek help....In the mean time I am in unknown land just waiting to see what happens--does anyone one know how I can reach this man...He does not do drugs or alcohol and is very religious-normally a very nice man---but not at this time.....I do not want to lose my husband and yet he is fading before my very eyes and I do not see a damn thing I can do about it.....Please does anyone have any ideas at all....I am scared.....Annie

Replies(3)

stephie

replied on October 3rd, 2003

New User

Brian Injury

I don't have any specific answers for you, but I do know that a brain injury can mimic mental illness. When there is pressure on the brain, it can cause mood swings, including intense anger. It can also cause imbalance when walking, nausea and vomitting.

I would suggest perhaps trying to get your husband into a doctor to perhaps do an mri to watch for swelling that can cause this.

Also, if he threatens you or himself, and you call the cops, they will bring him to a mental hospital for 24 hours observation. That is the only way to "force" an adult into a mental hospital, but again, they can only hold him for 24 hours, after which point your only option is to appeal to the court to have them ruled incompetent, but the attending psych who sees them is the only person who can say, "yes, this person is incompetent and needs to be hospitalized."

hope this helps.
Stephanie

Annie

replied on October 3rd, 2003

New User

Brain Injury And Mental Illness

Thank you for your reply to my posting about my husband with a head injury and the mental illness he is demostrating. Unfortunately, the very reason I wrote the posting was because he does refuse all medical help. He refuses to see a physical doctor, mental counselor or even a marriage counselor....For a while I thought perhaps the physical doctor or marriage couselor would truelly see what lied underneath all these problems and provide him with some mental help....But my husband really feels there is nothing wrong with him...Physically or mentally....But you know he has difficultity walking and talking anyway...But during one of his episodes his speech is much much worse and his balance and walking is markingly declined...And he still does not see the problem...He just calls it one of his bad days or bad weeks...As if this is the norm.....I can not reason with him at all at this point and he sees all our problems and his specifically as being all caused by me....He has turned away from everyone who has ever suggested he get help so now has few if any friends left and the one remaining is a pastor who will not abandon him...Thank god. My struggle with this all is trying to restructure my life and keep my sanity thru this..He needs help, but I believe the illness, whether brain swelling or mental or combo, is preventing him from seeing it or seeking it....May I ask how you know of brain injury and moods from it? I am starved for info about this subject.....Thank you again, annie

Annie

replied on October 4th, 2003

New User

Husband Refusing Treatment Ends

Hi,
to anyone who has been reading my postings about my abusive husband and a head injury and bi-polr etc. He has refused all treatment as stated before....He has gotten 10 times worse in the last week....Noone has done anything to help him because he will not utter another suiside threat like he did before and got put away...He learned well apparently....He went into total ragings and irrationalities beyond belief and said way to many ugly hurtful abusive things to me...So I walked...For good this time....I have finally and totally lost my husband to this hidden disease they call mental illness and there was noone to help or prevent this...If there was the out come I am sure would have been much much different....Now there is two lifes destroyed....I am so hurt and will no doubt anquish through the divorce and probally for the rest of my life.....

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