So many relationships have come and gone. I've been in love once or twice... And it didn't work out.

I'm not a bad guy... In fact, I keep hearing how happy i'll make somebody someday... Heh... Yeah, right. When life keeps showing me what it's been showing me, I can't help but to think love is just going to keep passing me by.

Yeah, I know i'm not the only one who goes through loneliness... But i'm telling you, it hurts.

I've tried searching for love, and not searching so love could find me. I've tried dating women from all different walks of life... All different types of women. People tell me i've made bad choices, considering what kind of relationship I want. I've been lied to, cheated on, stood up, led on, whatever you can think of. There are days when I think my poor heart just can't take it any more.

And what's worse... I'm very giving. To a fault, in fact. There's something I heard of... Dependent personality disorder... Where a person is prone to put all their problems and feeings aside to cater to another's needs... Maybe I suffer from that too... *sigh* who knows.

All I know is, it hurts being the way I am, and having to be hurt over and over again like this. I just got my heart broken by a woman who was giving me all kinds of affection, but wasn't over her ex yet... And now her ex wants her back. So while she considers taking him back, where does that leave me?

It makes it damn near impossible to not be cynical and just give up on being the kind of man I am... Caring, loving, generous, romantic, etc... All the things women claim they want. It's funny how i've noticed some women can point at a man like me from afar and go, "i wish there were more men like him..."

*sigh*