I finally got tired of james's indecision. His confusion is contagious. I asked him tonight if we were still together, or just friends, or what? And he answered with an "i don't know." so I told him, well, "i guess we're just friends, because that's all I feel like we are anymore." we don't spend much time together, and when we do, he doesn't show affection anymore. He sounded upset that I made it sound so final, but I just can't say we're together if he doesn't treat me like we are. I told him to let me know when he decided whether he wants to be with me for good, or break it off for good. He asked if we could still talk, and I said that we could. Of course, he is the father of my child. I told him that if he did decide he wanted to be with me, that I would most likely be more than happy to be with, unless there is a drastic change between then and now. I might meet someone, but it's hard to when you're not looking. The only thing that bothers me is the thoughts of josh that keep trying to creep into my mind. How good he was to me, how he told me once when I thought I might be pregnant by someone else when we first got together that he would love the child as if it was his own, how he asked me to marry him after only 2 weeks. He really cared about me, and I know I should have stayed with him, and gave him the chance he deserved, because he treated me the best out of all the guys i've dated. But for whatever reason, I didn't "love" him. I assumed that since I wasn't head-over-heels right away, that it wouldn't happen. And I think that was a mistake. Of course, I do love james, but i'm beginning to see the reality of the situation. He's 16, and he's not ready to be a father. He probably won't be, until it's too late. Ugh, what a mess. I'll keep you all updated, i'm going to go try to make some sense out of all this.