Hey hun! Weird, I havent been on at all and I just happened to and then you wrote me

ive been good.. Very busy.. Its weird being back to working 40 hours. I feel like I barely have any time anymore, and barely anytime with garret. My sister watching him 3 days a week and my grand parents do 2 days.. He starts day care nov.9th. Anyhow, weve been really good. Hes finnnnnally starting to not be so colicky, he still is, but just is getting better. Hes growing like a weed lol! Im guessing he weighs 10 lbs..Could be 10 1/2. (was 6lbs 2oz at birth) I love him to death.. Im still afraid though that he wont know iim his mommy because im gone so much..And with the father.. Ryan, he wants to see him, and he does. I still hate him sooo much .. But I have to deal with it. He is paying half of daycare, so I agreed to let him have him monday and wed. (we both work though) but he will have him from like 3:30-8 those days.. It makes me sad to think I will see him even less.. But I guess its both our baby..(even though he was terrible and didnt want him at all!!!) but I do want him to have his dad.What else.. O yea, guys. Well.. Actually shawn came over last night (the ex I was with when I was pregnant in early pregnancy, then we started talking a little throughout my pregnancy ) I remember writing and telling u all about him. Anyhow.. He kissed me last nite..Like 5 times.. But out of those times I only kissed him once. Which I shouldnt have done. I still like him, but hes moving to tennesee in a month for a job, hes like 99% sure ...I like him so much. But its his choice to leave and he thinks its 'best for him' ...Other then that, I went on one date with this guy jerad from work, but I didnt like him..And now im having this guy matt over on sunday when my family is here, but ive only hung out with him once so we'll see ... I need to get over shawn. . But yeah, thats my update! Ive been so busy! And I miss you all so much! I will be getting on more, well monday and wed. At least sence I will be without garret, I will have the time at least.. Even tho i'll miss him like madd!! Thanks for writing to me chanda!!

Not prob huni. I miss you too!
Sounds like work is keeping you busy. Don't worry, garret knows his mommy. Trust me. I promise. And yes you need to get over shawn if you two can't be together and seeing other guys will help with that! Take it slow, but do it if it feels right. I am glad things are working out with ryan.... Although yea, I know how you feel about him and i'd feel the same way. Good luck with everything and keep me posted! I missed you!

Question: on monday and wednesday when ryan has garret, are you working or are you at home missing your son? It is really awesome that he is paying half of daycare and that he is spending time with garret, but when you already get so little time with him I cannot imagine how hard this is.
Do you and ryan work the same shift? Maybe you should suggest that he change shifts and that way he can have garret when you are at work and you will have him the rest of the time. That would be better I think. Then garret would be spending more time with both of his parents and you would have him all of the time when you are not working.
Just a thought.
Good luck to you though, huni and I am glad you are well!

Thanks girls

and..Me and ryan work about the same shift. He gets out earlier tho and goes in a little earlier. .He works from like 6-3:30 and I work from 8-5..He cant pick his hours though unfortunatly and either can i. So yes from 5-8 I will just be missing him and not have seen him sence 7:30 that morning (and hes asleep when I leave for work, he doesnt wake up till like 9:30) ....

And chanda, about shawn, yea, he called today and asked to see me again.. I told him it wasnt a good idea. Even though I wanted to, I knew it would make things worse, so I didnt. He told me he liked me and has been holding back because he thought I would get w/ ryan again.. I wish he wasnt moving.. But too late for that.