Ok today ryan and I are leaving at 3 to go to the dragstrip down by my house. Let me remind you that is two hours away from ryan's. Well im not bringing mackenzie since its gonna be loud and won't be good for her ears and since itll get cold at night. Monday I was crying my eyes out because I knew friday was coming so fast and I didnt want to leave her. Ryan finally convinced me to go and so we are going tonight. Im super scared to leave my baby here with her grandma. Its not that I dont trust her but I just dont know I guess its a mom thing? Lol. I feel bad leaving her since shes not even two weeks old yet. I know that she wont know that mom and dad are gone but ill know that we are gone..I wanna go out and have fun but we arent gonna be back til 1am! 3pm til 1am is a l.O.N.G. Time!! Im gonna go crazy not seeing my baby for that long. So im bringing her pictures with me...Am I a bad mother for leaving her this early and for so long? I feel like one and every time I think of it I got teary eyed. But I wanna go have fun..How is this gonna work? I cant have fun and be worried at the same time...What am I gonna do? Any suggestions, please id appreciate it. Im freaked out to leave her. Ryan doesnt seem to be bothered by it, its only me so im guessing its a mom thing..He tells me its gonna be ok but he doesnt know since ive been carrying her inside me for 9months and never had to leave her because she went everywhere with me(obviously since she was in my belly). And now im leaving..This is tough stuff...Please help
~heather ryan and mackenzie