My boyfriend loves me a lot and he likes
having sex with me, but nowadays he
mentions that he wants to try threesome,
because I hardly ever have orgasm, and
also I don't let him do anal sex. He
wants to try threesome so he can satisfy
himself more but he doesn't want to lose
me. I am not sure what to do, I do not
like anal sex or threesome! Is he going
crazy?? I know men always have some
fantasy like that but I didn't think he of
all men would say something like this
after 3 years of relationship. How can I
satisfy him better so he won't even think
about threesome!?
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TX_momy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2004 Posts: 120 Location: TX
Hello Posted: 08-31-04 20:11pm
I dont know how old you guys are but, my
friends friend sister if you
understand.... any
way she did that with her boyfriend of 2
years and after that he started cheating
on her with that girl... And all so when
she ask hem she said he couldn stop
because that was something like a guys
fantasy or something like that , he
said.... Any way that was in june and she
heard he had 4 more threesomes after that
with different girls , if I was you I
would
not
do it !!!! Plus you can catch all kinds
of things and all so if he really love you
than !
you
! Would be just plenty and enough for
hem..... Ask hem whats hes problem is and
just try to buy some toys if you know what
I am saing.... .
Unless you guys are in a open relation
shipp but be protected please !!!!
Write back asap and gooooood luck !
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aanifant
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 101 Location: Galway
Posted: 09-01-04 03:52am
You shouldn't do anything you don't want
to--he is not being a 'normal guy' wanting
healthy guy things--he is being 100
percent selfish and placing way too much
importance on sex, himself, and fantasy.
More important than anythng he should be
worried why you aren't having orgasms
which has nothing to do with you needing a
threesome to climax. What you need is
him to try everything so you can orgasm
that means having very slow sex and
hitting the right spots when he's inside
of you. It sounds to me like he's trying
to live out all the porn he's ever looked
at. You deserve better than that--keep
telling yourself that. And do you even w
a n t to see him crawling all over another
girl? I doubt it. Maybe ask him if he
would be intersted in having a threesome
with some really hot guy instead of
another girl? Then see how enthusiastic
he is for the much overated threesome.
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purplechair
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2004 Posts: 8
Posted: 09-01-04 10:32am
Wow thanks, I feel the same way. Last
night, I told him that I think threesome
is disgusting and if he really wants to go
for it then I need to break up with him.
He said he loves me and doesn't want to
break up with me or doesn't want to have
an open relationship with me. He also
said that therefore he will give up on
having threesome in order to keep me as a
girlfriend. I checked his emails this
morning out of curiousity and found out
that he emailed some girl very flatterly
and told her that he was hanging out at
his "friend's" house this weekend, which
means my, or in other words his
"girlfriend's" house! I am wondering if
he's already cheating on me, not
physically but mentally. Do those guys
who think about threesome tend to cheat?
Also he is almost 33 and it seems that he
really is in a hurry to have threesome
before he gets too old. Do you think he
is going through an early mid-age crisis??
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 09-01-04 20:01pm
I don't know how most of you feel,but i'll
share just about anything-except my man!!I
have known people who did the threesome
thing to please their partner and it
caused nothing but trouble.One of the
persons felt slighted after awhile,the man
payed too much attention to the third
party or the woman did something with the
other guy that she would not do with her
man.Too much work in my opinion!Patty
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aanifant
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 101 Location: Galway
Posted: 09-02-04 04:25am
Hi again, I don't know if he's having a
mid-life crisis or if he still hasn't
grown out of being curious about those
typical fantasies that are tailored for
men. I thikn it takes them along time to
realize what we, for the most part,
already know: that sex plays a relatively
minimal part in a meaningful, loving,
supportive relationship. If he's emailing
other women and not being honest about you
as his girlfriend I would be watchful jsut
because it seems he's keeping his options
open. And, he should be proud you're his
girlfriend and bragging to everyone!!!
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 09-02-04 04:50am
Okay, first of all anal sex is gross and
unhealthy. My opinion, and this is just
my opinion, is that if a guy wants to
stick his penis in a butt then then he can
get himself a boyfriend. Some girls/guys
are really into that, but if anyone even
asked me to do it, I would hurt them. I
only date people who agree that it is
disgusting.
Same goes for the whole threesome thing!
Urgh! I mean, if you are a single guy
and you run into to whores who want to
have a threesome then go for it! But if
you love someone then you don't want to
have anyone but them. If you do, then it
is not real love. So many people
nowadays just go with the whole threesome
thing because it is becoming the "norm"
but I am sorry, I don't think so! We got
rid of polygamy for a reason people,
having multiple partners at the same time
is no better than having multiple wives!
All this kind of crap is doing is trying
to push us women back even more. Women
need to stop doing these things to "please
their man" and start doing things to
please themselves. It makes me so darn
mad!
And no, not every man fantasises about
having two girls at the same time! I
know a couple personally who don't! And
I also know some who say that they do when
there guy friends are around and talking
crap, but you can tell that they really
don't.
Bottom line, you obviously don't want to
do it, so don't. And you really need to
leave him. I know that sounds harsh, but
if he loved you then he wouldn't even be
suggesting this crap.
|
the one
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2004 Posts: 139 Location: Miami Beach
Posted: 09-02-04 13:10pm
I makes me mad too..
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NYGUY
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 41 Location: NYC
Posted: 09-02-04 18:10pm
Ok I don't think a mid life crisis can
happen at 33... I'm 32 and far from
midlife.
A threesome is something just about all
men fantasies about. I have done it and
would do it again. I also offered to give
one to her if that is her fantasy. Its
not for everyone and you need to be secure
in your relationship to do it
successfully. Don't condemn him for
asking. If you say no then its no but you
cant punish someone for there fantasy's.
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purplechair
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2004 Posts: 8
Posted: 09-02-04 18:43pm
So here's a question for nyguy, when you
are in a serious relationship where you
love your girlfriend so much, do you ever
even consider flirting with some other
girls? Cause I know my boyfriend flirts
with other girls, but to me I don't know
why he's doing that, knowing that he does
not wanna ever lose me. Is this a normal
guys' behavior?? I know he is
fantasizing about having sex with other
girls but how can I change that, is there
anything that I might be doing wrong???
I guess I should post this on the
relationship talk section but I might as
well ask you now... Thanks!!
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NYGUY
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 41 Location: NYC
Posted: 09-02-04 22:58pm
When I am in a serious relationship, no I
don't flirt with other girls. That is not
to say that my eye does not catch the
attention of other girls from time to time
but I think that is normal.
You should never feel responsible for your
boyfriends infidelities. Men are very
visual creatures. We respond very
strongly to visual stimulation. Men tend
to look. It does not mean that we do not
love and lust after the girl we are with.
Obviously there is the exception to the
rule and obviously some men act on that.
The bottom line is that if your man
cheats, move on and never blame yourself.
Also, you can not change his fantasies
just as he cant change yours. Its ok to
fantasies about sleeping with another
girl... Its if he acts on it that there
is a problem.
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aanifant
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 101 Location: Galway
Posted: 09-03-04 03:36am
Hi nyguy, I think that is crap men are
visual creatures and therefore it's normal
they're checking out every female. You
don't think women are looking at
attractive men?? It is not normal that
men use there dicks as divining rods.
Perhaps they shouldn't put so much
imoportance on their own climaxes using
whatever degrading images of women they
feel like. My fantasy is that men stop
falling in love with their own pricks and
learn how to be satisfying partners. No
offense.
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 09-03-04 10:02am
Purplechair,there is nothing you can do to
stop him from fantasizing about
others.It's when the fantasy wants to
become reality that's the problem.I have
no problem with a little mental
fantasy,that can even give your
relationship a little boost.I've often
told my husband that I don't care where he
gets his appetite-as long as he always
eats at home!Don't be threatened by an
imaginary situation.However,if he is
pushing for a threeway and you find that
gross(me too),then you need to tell him
plainly that is out of the question.Do not
be vague or say maybe-no means no!!If he
persists and gets weird about it,just tell
him to either be happy with the fantasy or
rethink your relationship.Anyone,man or
woman ,who does not respect your desires
does not have your best interest at
heart.Good luck to you!Patty
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NYGUY
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 41 Location: NYC
Posted: 09-03-04 10:40am
aanifant
wrote:
hi nyguy, I think that is
crap men are visual creatures and
therefore it's normal they're checking out
every female. You don't think women are
looking at attractive men?? It is not
normal that men use there dicks as
divining rods. Perhaps they shouldn't
put so much imoportance on their own
climaxes using whatever degrading images
of women they feel like. My fantasy is
that men stop falling in love with their
own pricks and learn how to be satisfying
partners. No
offense.
you obviously have never read any other
posts by me or you would know that I hold
women in the highest regard. At the same
time, it is not crap that men are more
visual than woman. Do some research and
you will come to the same conclusion. I
never said that women do not look also and
I would think it unhealthy if they didn't.
I love it when women think men are such
"simple creatures" and claim to know
exactly what we think or how we feel. Put
as much time and effort into understanding
men as I have spent trying to understand
women and then we can have a healthy
debate on the subject. If you re-read
what I wrote, I also said that a woman
should never feel responsible for a
cheating man. Don't lump me into a
stereotype.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 09-03-04 22:50pm
Just have to say a couple of things:
as I said before a lot of men do fantasize
about having a threesome, but a lot also
just go with it as to not be made fun
of.
I have never/would never date anyone who
had done it/ wanted to do it, etc.
People have different ideas of love: this
is one of the bottom lines. You have to
be with someone who shares your views of
love/morals/values/ desires etc.
To me, if you want to be with anyone other
than me then you do not love me. Because
when I love someone I want only them. I
hardly ever even look at another guy.
They have to be super super super sexy
for me to even glance.
So, yes, you can blame him for asking.
It is ignorant and disrespectful. I
mean, if he wants a girl that is into that
(and it is taking everything I have not to
be mean here) then he should be with her
and not you. You obviously have higher
morals so you should be with someone who
shares those with you.
any
way she did that with her boyfriend of 2
years and after that he started cheating
on her with that girl... And all so when
she ask hem she said he couldn stop
because that was something like a guys
fantasy or something like that , he
said.... Any way that was in june and she
heard he had 4 more threesomes after that
with different girls , if I was you I
would 
not 
