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Q: From Childhood?

asked by: AloneInTheDark on September 30th, 2003

New User

I'm not sure where the root of this problem lies, and I asn't sure which category to post this under, but here I go anyway. I've really had problems with socializing recently. I just don't have anything to say, nothing interesting to bring up, so I usually just listen, and I think many people take this as being anti-social. On the contrary, really want to be the opposite, especially in relationships. Whenever a guy approaches me, or flirts with me, or asks me out, I avoid the question or just say no. When people try and get close to me, I push them away. I'm not sure if this might have something to do with the fact that my dad used to be abusive. Now it's milder; he just screams at me all the time for any little thing he can think of. My theory is that because of my hatred and fear towards my dad, I am afraid of a similar relationship with others. Or I don't know how to socialize with them because my whole life all I did was argue with my father or submitted quietly as he yelled in my face. Am I making sense? Or do I just have problems with my social life? Question

Replies(6)

BabyPassion

replied on September 30th, 2003

Experienced User

Hello

Hello there,
I just posted a story of my life that had to do with sexual abuse...It's in the pregnancy forum under sexual abuse and depression...Maybe it can help.....But any how....I think you are hold yourself back from guys because of your relationship with your father. I can understand where you are coming from and I don't blame you.....But I think the best way to get past this part of you life is to go on that date......Or just talk to someone you like.....Trust me not everyone is like your father...There are good sweet guys out there that won't hurt you, physically are mentally......I don't know what else to tell you at this moment but I will let you know if some pops in to my head...If you want to talk email or im me or pm me....And i'll be listening

your friend
passion keep in touch

KMartinez

replied on October 1st, 2003

New User

Hey

I know where u are coming from. My father didnt abuse me but constenly lied and hurt me. This caused me to never trust guys. I havent fully goten over it but im starting to, I learned not everyone is out there to hurt me. Just remember be ur self anyone u doesnt love u for that doesnt deserve ur time. Does ur dad drink alot? Or are there problems between him and ur mother? Things like that could cause him pain and suffering that he just doesnt know what to do with. Stay strong!

K

sarahauntie

replied on October 20th, 2003

Experienced User

I Know What You Mean!

My dad didn't yell at me or anything, just lots of different stuff. He used to throw cockroaches at my sister and me. And he slept around on my mom. He also used to masturbate when I was sitting on his lap as a little girl. I didn't know what was going on then, but i'm 18 now, and I remember stuff. Don't worry, I used to be like you. I think I just started at a younger age. Now, I use humor as a deflector, and I still have problems with bottling up my feelings which has lead to medical problems. The only real advice that I have for you, and I hope it's helpful, but you need to be brave. I know it seems like your in a bottomless pitt right now, but i've escaped, and so will you! I know it sounds corny, but time does help. Go out with a group, even if you don't feel comfortable! Eventually, you'll be a new person. If you ever want to talk, e-mial me!

Good luck!

sarahauntie

replied on October 27th, 2003

Experienced User

You There!

Hey chica,

haven't heard from you in a while, just checking up. If you ever want to talk you can pm me or e-mail me at yahoo. My address is in my profile. Hope things are going well! Wink

Helden

replied on October 28th, 2003

New User

Is It Possible....

.....You just feel you need a little peace? You are saying that first your dad was hitting, and now he's screaming. That might make a girl feel that the best way to stay out of trouble is to keep her mouth shut. Is there anyone at all that you like & trust who could help you with your unhappy family situation? That's the primary problem here...And no amount of trying to be friendly or socializing is going to help you until you feel safe & accepted at home.

SandQueen

replied on November 7th, 2003

New User

Fathers And Abuse

Hey, feeling safe and secure at home is a big thing, but feeling secure in yourself is a better thing. Start a hobby or read in a library or coffee shop, get to know yourself a little first. Friends will follow find those who are confident in themselves. It takes time... But don't worry. If you just trust that you can get through life with your father yelling at you by being yourself and finding a place to go to to relax at, then you can do anything.

Or at least that is what I keep telling myself.

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