Teen with severe anxiety, if you ever need me, let me know



let me tell you, oh my gosh, I thought numerous times I was for sure going to die. My first panic attack came to me in backseat of my car going down the expressway with my husband and father-in-law, all the sudden I could not breathe, I felt like my chest was being crushed, all around my mouth was numb and tingeling. I could not see, I could barely talk, all I know was I had to get out of that car now!!!!!!!! I was sooo bad I almost jumped out of the car at 75 mph. I got out when we finally got pulled over, my husband rick jumped out to see what was wrong, I felt like I didn't even have enough air in my lungs to even talk to him. I was shaking so bad, it was like from the inside out. Like my insides were shaking, I was so cold. I went home and went straight to bed. The next day I put myself in the hospital, they said nothing is wrong it is panic attacks, I knew they were lying, I was dying and thats all there was to it. I went home and did not get out of bed for 3 or 4 days, I could not eat, nothing, I went back to the hospital (a different on this time because the doctors at the other one were quacks) I was in such bad shape from that attack with not being able to eat or drink my iron levels were dangerously low, and my potassium level was nothing. The doc ran every test he knew of, chest xrays everything, he said it is panic attacks, did not believe him, went home. Tryed to get over it but couldnt, do you know how many times I walked into the local police station or fire department for help? Today........... I am better. I can control them. I often wonder if I will ever be free, maybe....... I take it one day at a time.

I can tell when one is coming on now, my feet burn. When they get real bad, my fingers will curl up and I can't staighten them back out. The doc told me it was just one of the many symptoms. I really dont think there is a cure for this. I dont even know if doc's know what really causes them. What I found that was helpful was finding the real root to my problem which is the fact that I did not have panic attacks until my dad had his first heart attack, my fear of my dad dying is my source, then I think my fear of myself dying and leaving my loved ones behind and or my loved ones dying and leaving me behind. I know that is the main source of my problems, since my dad almost died, my fear of death is huge, I think about it all the time. It took me awhile to admit to myself the problem and to admit I had panic attacks and other than the attacks I was healthy. You see..... I still have these problems and I still look to the internet for help, or a diagnosis, like, I cough all the time so I figured I have lung problems, there is a forum on here for lung problems, I stayed away from it, I went on to reading in here that someone on this sight has this same problem because of their anxiety so my mind is a ease now and I hoping it will go away. To this day I will not go far from home, I am to scared I will have a panic attack and not know where a hospital is. Sometimes I think I am going insane!!!! I even asked my doc if I was a nut job. I am out looking for a job right now and I am scared to death upon an interview I will have a panic attack and make a complete ass out of myself, I am having second thoughts about getting a job but then I think if I have something to keep my mind occupied maybe that will help. My biggest fear is having another one. For days after a panic attack I am real weak. I also am in constant fear of having a heart attack, heart failure, hardening of the arteries, etc. My chest hurts too when I have attacks, right in my heart region, under my arms and between my shoulder blades. I wish there were some instant cure for this. I chalked it off to my mind playing tricks on me. Hey, I think all we can do is keep telling ourselves we will live. I always think to myself "well it hasn't killed me yet, so it probably wont"
what about your family? Are they supportive? Can you talk to them or would you rather not? I know I am 28 and I still dont talk about this stuff with my parents. I dont know I would just feel uncomfortable, awkward. I dont care what people say, it is not easy telling people you know what is going on. It is embarrassing. I think this must be harder for you than it is for me, I mean I can stay in my house in my bed all day long without anyone questioning me, I dont have to answer to anyone or explain anything to anyone, your what?16 I bet it is sooo hard for you to be asked what is wrong all the time, and you dont say when inside you are screaming someone please do something to make this go away.
Together we will get over this, if it hasn't killed us yet, it probably wont. Ha ha. Do you have the bad breathing problems?
I have a real stupid thing I do when I feel one coming on. I'll tell you if you promise you wont think I am a nut. Its real stupid, but for me it works.

One more quick thing, that weird feeling in your head....... Was it kinda like everything looked maybe blurry or something, its hard to explain, like maybe thing were going by you faster than you were going. Like you could not concentrate on anything? You just felt like you wern't all there?