Hey hun. All I can say is please try and stop while your still ahead. I had the same problem.. 2 1/2 years ago, and im still there now. Ive been anorexic and bulmic for 2 1/2 yrs. Mostly bulmia now. Its a trap, and the longer u do it, the harder and longer it will stay and it will be sooo hard to eat normal again.And it only gets worse and worse.Do you want to stop? I mean.. I know its hard...And im sure u look great and just cant see it.. But all restricting will do is get u back into the binge/purge cycle.. So all u can really do to quit is to eat as 'normal' as possible. And at least 1,500 cals. Eating more frequent smaller meals may help too so u dont feel the 'need' to purge. I know that in our heads we manifest this idea that eating normally will make us big or something. But its not true. Actually, eating 1,500 cals a day and keeping them and snacking frequently makes your metabolism go faster then restricting..And purging slows down your metabolism too. Even if u lose weight quicker this way, its not permanate. I realy hope u can quit while u still can and I hope u want to get better..How old r u by the way? My name is kari, im 18 yrs old..I actually have a 5 1/2 week old son. He was my inspiration to get better, and im not better yet, but I am trying to recover. I just remember when I was in your spot and I thought I would just quit later..Its wayyyy harder now. U deserve a normal and happy life. If u want to see pics of me, go to the teen pregnancy forum, and from this same username, the post is on the first page, its called 'tons of pics!!' I have pics of when I was pregnant, and then pics of me now, and pics of my son. If u need anything, pm me, or if u have aol, my s/n is skeaxryi629*** sorry this is so long!

Thanks for your support kari. You and your son are both beautiful and he looks exactly like you. I just turned 17 so i'm just a little younger than you are. And I agree with everything you said about the eating habits, it's just getting harder to stop. Hope you recover from this ed as well.

What you are doing is called bulemarexia. When you do both anorexia and bulemia. All I can tell you is you have got to get help. I was a bulemic for 6 years. It started when I was 19 years old. I was a competitive gymnast who stayed thin and muscular. When my gymnastics career was over I gained weight and began to get depressed and throw up. That was the most miserable years of my life. My body was so worn out I could not even fight off a cold. I have ruined the enamal on my teeth. I now what you feel. After you stuff your face the only thing you can think about is get all that back up. It takes over all other thoughts or senses. It is almost an uncontrollable feeling but you know what? It can be controoled. With help it can stop. Bulemia is a disease and it is something I fight everyday but I am a good weight and my life doesn't feel out of control any more. Also you are diabetic and your binging and purging has to make your blood sugar out of control. Because you are diabetic you stand an even bigger chance of bad health. There are things you can do to help yourself but you have to want it for yourself! Find a psychiatrist you trust and feel comfortalbe with. There are chat rooms full of recovery bulemics and anorexics. I always found it good to takl with someone who knows what you are struggling with. There are also support groups. Sweetie you have got to do something before it kills you becuase it can and will if you don't get help. Good luck

Yes, you're right, I do need to talk to someone about it but there's no one who will understand. Most of my friends are stick thin and eat the junkiest food ever. My doctor suspected something when I lost 7 lbs from skipping meals and starving. I was actually really happy being able to fit into my old jeans. But I don't think i'm bulimic because I don't binge. Before I eat a meal I just think about the calories and one day a will have cottage cheese for breakfast and not purge and another day I will eat toast with jam and then purge. I just sort of decide whether on not I will throw up and then eat what i've decided. I don't think i'm annorexic either because I only starved for 4 days in my life. I never did it again...This is why i'm so confused with what this could be. And also I noticed I only feel this way when i'm sad or depressed like now when my parents are fighting and talking about a divorce, I feel so bad and purging makes me feel better about myself, I have no idea why...

Eating disorders are about control. Like your parents fighting. It scares you and you can't decided there outcome. But you can decide for your own body. It does not matter if you only purge once or twice a week it is still an eating disorder. Take it from me. Once or twice leads into a hell of alot more. Your heading down a very hard and difficult path.

Hi, when I was 16 I almost became annerexic and was addicted to being--what I believed-- beautiful. I'm 26 now and have heard all the analyses of eating disorders being diseases and about not having control, therefore food is the only thing to control. I'm sure oyu have too. But, I think eating disorders are about feeling caca. caca when you look in mags, or on the tv or listen to people talk constintly about being thin. Because all those things say to us that being thin is the only way a girl can be loved or accepted, or approved of.
I thikn you have a hell of a lot more things to be proud of than other people's ideas of weight and you'll feel genuine confidence and self-respect when you realize and use your talents and abilities.
It may sound stupid, but that's how i've been able to deal with a pressure I think every woman struggles with.