Anxiety and Stress Forum - Fear of Hurting Other People?

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Q: Fear of Hurting Other People?

asked by: Unified on August 20th, 2004

New User

Okay, here's the deal.

I've been suffering from anxiety since last october. Since then, i've had many irrational thoughts that have lead to panic attacks and such. I've noticed most of my thoughts and the anxiety that follows originates from things i've heard about on tv or other people mentioning things. The first thing I was afraid of was brain tumor, as I heard the symptoms on a tv show, and the same thing with heart attack and stroke. I'd feel the most minor feeling similar to the above fears, and then think i'm having problems with them.

Anyway, this most recent fear is somewhat similar. It's also completely idiotic. I sat down and watched the movie "secret window", and to make a long story short, the guy is almost exactly like me in every way (just the way he looks, he's a writer, he smokes, etc.) and he goes insane and becomes a killer.

Ever since I saw the movie, i've been having the most strange fears of just losing control and harming someone I love, or one of our pets. It's not even that I have a compusion to do it or actually feel like i'm going to go crazy and do it, it's just that the thought pops into my head what if I were to lose control and do something irrational, and that thought makes me sick and I feel ill, distusted, and scared that i'd even think about it.

And just to stress this, I do not feel like i'm actually going to do something that sick, I just get scared at the mere thought.

Has anyone else had a similar fear? I just want to know that i'm not alone.

Replies(16)

qt3

replied on August 20th, 2004

Experienced User

Hi unified-
i have never had the fear of physically hurting anyone but I can give you advice what you had to say in your first paragraph here about worrying and brain tumors etc. I was convinced I had just about every serious ailment under the sun for many years. Every time I heard about a new disease and its symptoms, I thought I had it. I have since learned that it has little to do with the symptoms and everything to do with the way I was thinking about the symptoms. Cbt has since changed my life. It's all about using the tools to learn to think more clearly and accurately about things and once you do your anxiety, panic and depression will begin disappear. My favorite starter book on cbt is "been there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz and many universities offer cbt programs for little or no charge so you may want to call the ones in your area. Good luck!

Q

Dan1234

replied on September 6th, 2004

New User

Yeah, know what your talking about. I've had random, irrational thoughts about hurting a family member. I normally carry around a pocket knife because I work in my yard often. There might be a tree limb or branch in the way or something, so I just flip it out and cut it off and keep on mowing or whatever i'm doing. But I remember once I had a random thought about hurting a family member with it... When I know i'll never do it. Ever. I was kinda freaked out because I would never do that... And had simular feelings like you had. Your not alone. =)

NannersLovesYou

replied on May 14th, 2009

New User

You are most definately not alone.

WOW, those are the exact thoughts I've been having for the past year. Its a scary, horrible feeling to feel like you could hurt someone (especially someone you love) Anxiety is terrible, truly terrible. It can cause the most horrible feelings. Do you sometimes feel discusted with yourself because of those thoughts? Trust me, your not alone. But the mind is something that we cannot always control. I have the fear of going crazy because of that sick, horrid thought too. Because its so overwhelming. I often feel like I can't trust myself any more, if you feel that way too, your not alone.

One day my mom was just choking, (who I love more than ANYONE) and I had a full panic attack. It was scary. Then I ended up having a panic attack in school, for no reason. Then I just hear about horrible things happening in the world, and got scared. Then I wanted to hurt myself. I have low self esteem, so my brain sensed that I wouldnt care that much if I was hurt, so my thoughts automatically went to the ones I love. See, anxiety can be caused in so many ways. Its horrible, and maybe you can get help from a therapist or phyciatrist if it doesn't heal in time.

I'm STILL dealing with these thoughts and feelings, so if this has gone on for a while, I know how you feel.

-My best of luck to you.

Users who thank NannersLovesYou for this post: atthemoment

atthemoment

replied on May 27th, 2009

New User

Same

I don't like to admit it but I too have similar thoughts. Sometimes I just pause and think 'what the eff is going on'. It concerns me that there is stuff going on in my head that i don't know about. It's disconcerting and worrying when you can't trust yourself.

atthemoment

replied on May 27th, 2009

New User

Just wanted to say i read your post and liked it. Thanks.

noepitaphnoname

replied on May 28th, 2009

New User

Same here. These thoughts usually happen whenever I feel alone. I'm usually never actually alone, I just feel lonely.

Anyways, I can't watch movies about serial killers because I'm scared I'll be one.

The thing about it is that I never actually WANT to harm anyone, I'm just scared that I will, or that eventually I'll want to. But I've never harmed anyone ever, and never have intentions of doing so. Even still, the thoughts make me feel like a monster. And it's very hard to get them out of my head.

Users who thank noepitaphnoname for this post: nikki1408

Louise0088

replied on July 6th, 2009

New User

All of these thoughts and feelings are a COMMON form of OCD. According to a therapist I spoke to, no one has EVER acted on these thoughts, you still maintain complete control, even during extreme panic attacks (when you feel dazed, spaced out, absent). I have had these thoughts on and off for a long time, sometimes it is the fear of actually hurting my parents (who I live with) other times it is simply the fear of having these thoughts, or the fear of always feeling so scared and unhappy. The best way to deal with these issues is therapy, I do not have huge faith in self help books as I believe they can do more harm than good, and I think that medication is only really successful when accompanied with therapy.

nikki1408

replied on August 4th, 2009

New User

i also have these thoughts. i hate them. its even gotten so bad lately that i wont use a razor to shave my legs because im scared that im going to go crazy and slit my wrist with it. i hate that my brain is controling my life. anyone have any suggesstions on how to fix this?? im only 21 and i want my life back.

beccaboo77

replied on August 7th, 2009

New User

Fearful thoughts are caused by anxiety

I am so glad that we have all found each other. Doesn't it make you feel better knowing that you are not crazy or alone in this? I think that is part of the OCD and anxiety- the feeling is very isolating and that just heightens the fear. I had these fears pretty bad in november.. grabbing a knife and stabbing someone- scary!!! I talk to my doctor and went on anti anxiety/ depression medication, it has helped but the fears creep up sometimes. Like yesterday a co-worker told me this horrible story about this teenager that went crazy and took an axe and chopped this old man's head off as he was just walking down the street!!! So what do i think about this morning? What if i go nuts and chop someones head off?! Or what if that happens to me??!! HORRIBLE and so SCARY! Now i am trying to tell myself that these thoughts are rediculous and they are just anxiety caused. I am trying to "assign" them as meaningless and unimportant random thoughts so that they become fleeting instead of dwelling on them and becoming more scared. Whew! It sucks when your in it.

ConfusedMe315

replied on August 12th, 2009

New User

OMG! Finally i Feel like im not alone. Honestly, I thought i was going syco or was becoming mentally ill and needed help immediately. Ive been suffering from anxiety (GAD) for a month or so now. I just turned 21 and right on my birthday, boom! Rushed to thé hospital. I remember sitting on the chair with chest pains, numb shoulder, feeling faint, tingling arm... EVERY symptom you coule imagine possible. I was sure it was the end and i was having a heart attack. Boy was I wrong. Little did i know what was to come my way. I was told i had anxiety disorder and i looked at the doctors like they were crazy! I had no idea what the heck an anxiety disorder was! I was prescribed Xanax and that somewhat help the nerves but not so much my screwed up mind Sad

. I had a fear of dying but i over came those thoughts and was great until recently when i started to havé thoughts of killing people. The thing is, i would never be able to harm a soul! I kept thinking what if i Hurt my fiance or cat? Or even MYSELF! But i never would. I seriously thought i was losing it but now i know its my anxiety and i need now to take the next step and getting help. I feel like the only one i CAN go to is my fiance because after i talked to him about m'y thoughts he totally understood and talked with me. Helped alot! I need to just talk with others on this issue in order to get through this. Anyone, message me!

timinca

replied on August 25th, 2009

New User

Not Alone

I've suffered off and on with the fear of hurting someone I love for about ten years now even though I know I could never do that. It can be very overwhelming and depressing. Xanax has helped and I went to counseling a couple of times and that helped too. I've had these feelings come again and thought I would do a search on the internet. I am so glad to find out that I'm not alone. I had no idea that this was considered OCD.

ItalianP2284

replied on August 26th, 2009

New User

Im so happy that all you people took the time out to write your comments, it feels so good and reassuring that im not alone in this. Ive been suffering with general anxiety for about two yrs now. A child hit me on his go-kart while i was driving, he was fine but ever since then ive been so depressed with the most horrible thoughts. everyday im so afraid i might turn into a killer one day, or might get pleasure about thinking of harming somebody(which i dont). I feel like such a messed up person and so guily for even thinking like this. I dont want to harm anybody but when ever the thought comes into my head it just keeps on repeating its self in a different way every time. I work at an ice cream polar, I/m so afraid i might mix nuts into an ice cream and somebody with a nut alergy would get the ice cream i accidently put the nuts in. Id feel like i harmed them. Im so afraid of going near a knife around somebody...even my dog who i love to death. I know i really wouldnt do anything in reality but im so afraid i might in the future. I feel like if im thinking like this now it'll only guess worse in a couple yrs(if i dont fix it correctly)and i might look at this in a pleasurable way. I just want to be a "normal" person again and enjoy my life. can any body please help me?!

ahmad123

replied on September 11th, 2009

New User

anxiety

hey guys I just had a panic attach afew minitues ago . talked to my doctor was not convined fully. I though I'll go crazy now and kill everyone or my self thought I cannot control myself of start shouting and ppl will make fun of me (though I knew i wouldn't do that ) and and didn't finally. hahahah . I took rivotril to calm down but at the meantime was checking this post and fingured out that I'm not alone . helped me alot to cool down. now I'm almost relaxed. and i didn't kill any one lol. but was wandering can i finally manage to get rid of this forever I don't like to be on medicaiton for the rest of my life feel like bad when think about it.

kannb

replied on September 11th, 2009

New User

This site is like a gift from GOD.I have been dealing with the same thoughts for about 9 months now and seriously thought i was the only one besides people that are in mental hospitals. I thought i was crazy for sure but now i feel a little better knowing that this might be more common than i thought even though its sick. I became so sick over these thoughts that i have basicly stopped living in fear that i will do something that i don't want or would ever do. This all started after a friend commited suicided and my mind started to think if they could do that maybe i could and its never ended since then. I have feared I could hurt my family and it makes me so sick that i have real physical symptoms. All i wish is that i will wake up one day and its all gone and i can get my life back and go on living normaly. But its nice to know im not alone and maybe i can start to trust myself again and stop thinking im going to turn in to a killer or something beacuse. Thank you all for your posts and GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

fromos

replied on September 13th, 2009

New User

my anxiety is slowly slipping away and depression slowly i just accepted i had it and understood it true lly works the scary irrational thoughts happened to me like when i see knifes i want to look away from them or put them away in fear of hurting someone i too don't watch serial killer movies for the exact same reason my explanation for this is if you wanted to hurt someone you would enjoy the thoughts but instead you don't like me i hate them so therefor your not loosing the plot nor are you going to hurt someone i think its the fear of no control hope this helps you guys.

Love001

replied on September 30th, 2009

New User

I am afraid that i turn a schizo-alcoholic-suicidal-murderer-raper-m entally ill-violent 30 year-old man... Knives, axes, height scare the hell out of me.. And this is just the beggining! Seriously, i have had the most scary thoughts over the past year and hate them. It can be OCD, anxiety, post-traumatic stress (yes, it can be that too i.e., seeing 'something' on TV). I understand now they are not going away. I'm not saying I am comfortable with them or want them in there or, worse, act on them... but they are just thoughts and not my actions. I love life so much and am the most peaceful person. I have seen a doctor, read some books etc. In my personal experience, only two things really work: acceptance and time... oh yeah, and CONFIDENCE. Now, you can smile 'cause it only gets better from here. Such a fear is sometimes what we need to really appreciate the people around us!!

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