I have found the mind works against you. And the best answer I can give you is to get that mind thinking about somthing else. Stop thinking about you. Start thinking of your children. And how you can help them.Good luck this will be very hard.

Erlybo-
people can give you advice and sympathy all day long but in the end it's up to you to help yourself. Based on your posts I have recommended cbt to you as it is the most effective treatment for anxiety, panic and health fears but you have to work at using the exercises everyday for it to work for you. If you dedicate yourself to getting involved in cbt it will teach you how to help yourself overcome all these problems, but it takes work and dedication. Is it difficult? At first definitely, but is it worth it? More than you'll ever know if you don't give it a try. It will also build your self-esteem as you will feel empowered once you realize you are giving yourself relief. Good luck and I hope you find something that helps you feel better.

Q

I know exactly how you are feeling, I feel the same. I have kids and family around me and I constantly fear dying and leaving them it is truly terrifying. I have constant physical symptoms that I fear such as at the moment I am extremely worried about throat and neck pain and I think one of my glands in the neck is swollen I also have sinus problems. I have convinced myself that I have something dreadful such as throat cancer and I am too scared to go to the doctor about this. I am currently seeing a councellor to see if that will help and I am also on meds for depression and anxiety. The only comfort I can give you is that my brother went through similar thing and has now recovered with help and is now living a normal life and is back to work and enjoying life. I would be interested to know if you have physical symptoms that cause the fear like me.

Hi, I am 28 with two kids, I had my first panic attack about 2 1/2 years ago, I will never forget it, it was on the expressway with my father-in-law and husband, it was so bad I had to make them pull over and stop the car so I could get out, I couldnt breathe, I didn't even have enough air in my lungs to talk to tell my husband what was wrong, around my mouth was numb, I couldn't even see the greatest. I have never talked to anyone about this except for my husband and doctor cause you know that day I went straight to the er because I just knew I was dying. To this day, I will not leave to go far away because I am scared I wont know where a hospital is incase of a bad attack. I feel like just going somewhere to confront my fear, but everytime I go to, I chicken out. I get feeling so bad I hyperventalate, almost pass out. I sometimes can't get out of bed. Or find myself bieng up in the morning and feeling good then by noon wham in bed. I am coping the best I can, now I find myself telling myself that I know this is a attack, I will not let this get the best of me, and suck it up and go on. It does help when you recongnize what it is. I find my happy place in my mind, on a beach on the ocean with palm trees all around me. I know I sound like such a nutcase, but when meds dont work you have got to find something to help get you through. The only thing that will help you is what you come up with to passify the time. I take deep breaths and tell myself inhale.....Happy...... Exhale..... Healthy..... You really just need to find something to get you through. Something your own that makes you feel good, and always tell yourself it is only a panic attack, I will not let it get the best of me. I remember times where my husband and myself would be driving down the road and I would have an attack, if there was a fire station near, that was where I was going. For a long time, I did not believe anyone who told me all it was was panic, now I have accepted it, and will deal with it in my own way.
Things will get better for you. You can overcome this. I think the worst thing is waiting for the next one to happen, once you have learned to control them, the stress of the next one will slowly go away. I also want to let you know if you ever need to talk to someone please let me know, if you want to I can give you my number and you can call collect. I will be here for you whenever you need me to be.

I had the same type of thing happen to me. I was 22, had a 2 year old at home and was trying to make something of myself by going to college. I was actually very proud of myself, living in a new city, I was doing so good. One day I was driving along by myself, and I started sweating, heart pounding...All that usual fun stuff. I pulled over and called an ambulance cause I was dying for sure. Of course they sent me home with a diagnosis of a panic attack and that was that. I figured it was a one time thing and got up the next morning and went to go about my day and it happened again. After that it was a daily thing, that was 3 years ago. It has completely ruined my life. I left my sons father cause he thought I was faking, I couldn't work or finish school so I lived with my mom. After a year or 2 of this I got extremely pissed off. Pissed off at the disease, at my community for not having any decent programs to offer me, pissed off at myself. I decided it was my life and there was no way I could let this thing take me away from me or my son anymore. So, I actually forced myself to go places I wanted to go and if this thing was going to kill me, I was going to die fighting. I kinda laugh at the way I approached it now, cause I probaly sound like a warrior or something but thats exactly how I felt. I'm not completely cured now, but i'm in such a better place than I was. A big part of it as well that helped me was humor. I have a family that deals with things that are difficult using humor. Sometimes I even talk to it (the actual panic attack) while its happening. It will start and in my head instaed of thinking "oh god, i'm dying,i can't breathe, I have to leave..." I say "oh you again, can't seem to go anywhere without you tagging along, what are you going to try today?...Shortness of breath, that beating heart thing...Bring it on!!" sometimes it stops dead in its tracks. I know it probaly sounds idiotic, but most of the time, it actually works. A lot of times I go into wal mart or whatever I stop at the bathroom first, to collect thoughts and assure myself that I won't pee my pants! Mostly its the little things that make me feel secure, always having my pills with me (ativan), just in case, going with people that I trust. Hopefuly I helped, or at least let you know you're not alone. The best advice i've gotten though is from my dad, he says "nobody ever died of a panic attack". Even if thats not true, I believe it.

Emotional release, body talk, open mouth connected breathing, The Forum, EFT.... these are all things that you can research online and look into to help to alleviate your anxiety.

Pay attention to your self-talk. What are you saying to yourself about yourself in your mind? Try programming your subconscious mind with some positive ideas about yourself.

If you could possibly meditate, this is very helpful. You don't need to learn how. It's like learning to fall asleep, but remaining conscious. It only involves sitting quietly and not getting carried away by your thoughts, but just silently watch them until they slow down and get still. Many people use the river metaphor to help with this. They imagine themselves sitting alongside a river or stream, watching their thoughts without judgement until they eventually quiet down. Even five minutes of this can by helpful. I'm meditating right now, as I write this. I have my eyes closed, and my mind is totally open. It's even ok to smile.

There's an exercise I learned from my teacher, James Hyman. Close your eyes, and visualize your heart, now, ever so slightly, without moving your face musculature, smile inwardly, every so subtly into your heart. You can see how as soon as you do it, you can feel your heart energy grow.

So, your thoughts- positive affirmations, instead of negative ones, personal growth through weekend workshops, or the new age section at your local bookstore. Meditation, don't worry about what type, just sit and see if you can quiet your mind. These are all some things you can try.

We have found that a good deal of anxiety is blocked energy. When you release the blocked energy, anxiety lightens. Think of things that you can do to unblock it. They all work, such as exercise, yoga, running, laughing, (self-induced laughter is a powerful technique, kind of fake it til you make it philosophy). Taking deep breaths. Check out Laughter Yoga and EFT.

Hope this helps.

Barbara