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Is There a Way to Cause a Miscarriage? (Page 1)

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Ok.. So heres the thing. I'll be 15 in about 3 weeks and me and my boyfriend have had sex for the first and second time. The first he came in the condom. The second was with no condom.. He pulled out and came all over my butt.. Lol. Ok so everything was good until my mom found out im not a virgin anymore. Which is extra bad because I did this whole true love waits thing, where your supposed to stay a virgin until your married. She made me take my ring off and shes also taking me to the gynocologist to get "checked out". She wants to know about every single scratch and everything so she'll know exactly what happened! So here are my questions. 1, i've heard that an appointment like that can be confidential if you say so. But is that still the case if the parent requests the appointment? So like, in other words, can I make my mom leave the room and then tell the doctor to not tell her certian things? Also, my 2nd and biggest question, if I happen to be pregnant, can I give myself a misscarriage by getting punched in the stomach/lower abdomen, or something along the lines of that? I know that sounds really bad, and I probably will never do that or have to resort to that, I just really want and need to know the answer so if as many people as possible can give me some info on how to cause a misscarriage, that would be wonderful. Im only 15 and waaaaaayyy too young to have kids, plus theres no way I could have an abortion especially without my mom knowing and then I would be dead if she found out I was pregnant anyways. I know, I know, I should have never had sex in the first place. And believe me I wont do it again until im ready for the responsibilities.
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First Helper Shannon9889
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replied August 16th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
Im sorry what makes you think people are gonna try and help advise you on whats the best way to violently kill something that may or may not be inside of you. You did the deed now live with the consequences. Maybe it's a good idea that you do go see a gynocologist. Who knows what u may be riddled with down there when you have a complete lack of knowledge of unprotected sex. If you dont know what im talking about it's called s.T.D's.


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replied August 16th, 2004
I am so sorry that I have to be this way to someone so young. But what the hell do you think you are doing?!!!! 1.) I have been trying like hell to have a baby, and cant. Literally, I am in tears that someone could be so cruel. 2.) never, never hit yourself in the abdomen; you may lose the baby, but you may cause severe even life threatning things to happen to you as well. 3.) you made the very important decision to have sex, take care of your accidents. 4.) in the future, when having sex, if you or your partner doesn't know how to use a condom, I suggest other forms of birth control.

I am sorry, but little girls like you are what give young teen mothers a bad rep. I was 15 years old when I got pregnant with my daughter. I had lots of complications, but I took care of it all!!!!! I have a 4 year old beautiful little girl. God works in mysterious ways. Maybe you should have the baby, and let people like me (that can't have any) have their dreams come true through adoption. Well, looks like to me that before you make any decisions, you need to talk w/your mother/guardian, and go see a professional therapist/counseler who can help you. Then, after this traumatic experience, maybe you should take a couple of planned parenting classes before have sex again. Twisted Evil Exclamation
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replied August 16th, 2004
Experienced User
Rather than completely lecture you about this, I will give you the answers to your questions.

1.) even if your mom made the appointment, it can still be confidential. When you get to the gynocologists office, you will sign in and probably have to fill out some forms. Then the nurse will come out and call your name and you follow her back into another office where the doctor will ask you some basic questions. (like "have you had sex before?" "have you done any drugs, or underage drinking") however the first questions the doctor should ask is "do you want this exam to remain between you and me?" thats what my doc said. My mom made me go get birth control, and my doctor said, "i saw that your mom brought you here today. Would you like this exam to remain confidential?" by law, if you tell him you want it confidential he cannot share any info with your mother, even if you are a minor. It doesnt matter how much your mom stresses or !**@! to get information, by law the doctor cannot give it.

2.) wanting to give yourself a misscarriage is really sick, and I cant believe you would even ask about that!! But you did. My mom had a miscarriage just from running a short distance. It of course was accidental, and she was crushed from it. Hun, if you are pregnant I would just give the child up for adoption.

Feel free to pm me, I tried not to lecture you like everyone else did!
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Users who thank June4life for this post: pattycakes337 

replied August 17th, 2004
Experienced User
*edited*

okay, I won't disclose specific information on your situation, my dear. But i'll make some basic recommendations:

1. Go to Sisterzeus.Com[/url] . They have a lot of information on contraceptive herbs and supplements.


2. Do a dogpile, google, askjeeves, etc. Search for "self induced miscarriage"; that is how I found out about that link above.


Best of luck to you, no matter which path you choose to take.



.....



Scaredbaka - hopes she does not burn in hell
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replied August 17th, 2004
Experienced User
Trying to induce a miscarriage is not just unreliable, it is very unhealthy and dangerous. You would probably end up getting rushed to emergency! If you want to terminate a pregnancy, then there are options for a safe, legal abortion -- and trying to make yourself abort is exactly the same thing, so this does not introduce any different moral or ethical issues, so please no one flame me for pointing this out here.
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replied August 17th, 2004
Community Volunteer
Also trying any of these methods can lead to birth abnormalities, do you want to be responsible for that? Evil or Very Mad
just think that if you are pregnant and you tried this then got rushed to hospital, your mom not only finds out that you are pregnant but that you are sick enough to try to do damage to the unborn child and possibly even screw up your chances of ever having children later on.
1 see a counsellor (or speak to a trusted teacher/aunty/friends mom etc)
2 get tested (are you really pregnant?)
3 arrange future protection (pregnant or not)
4 sort out what will happen to child if you are pregnant (termination, adoption etc.)
5 go to some practical parenting classes (you need to learn to prepare yourself)

at the end of the day your mom knows you've been doing it anyway, so she must know there is a chance that you can be pregnant. Yes I expect she will be angry, but that is most likely because she cares about you and wants the very best for you.

Don't take the stupid route, you've been stupid enough to have unprotected sex, now is the time to be sensible.

I probably have lectured you a bit, but you really need some tough love, but I have also given you the start of how to get things sorted, the real action is down to you
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replied August 19th, 2004
Oookkkkkkk
Well geez you dont have to freakin cut me down and call me sick and demented and immature because I sure am not immature. I know I did something dumb that I do not need to be doing right now and I have learned to accept that because I have to live with it for the rest of my life. It may be a bad idea to do what I asked and now, thanks to everyone that posted, I realize that, and I thank you. Also, thank you to the people who actually told me what I asked to hear. I asked for answers, not to be scolded. You dont know me and I dont know you but everyone makes mistakes once in their life and maybe this is one of them. I never said I was actually going to give myself a misscarriage, I was just asking about it. And about all the stuff about mothers who are trying to get pregnant and me trying to kill babys, well guess what? Im not trying to get pregnant. And I know that if I dont want to be, then I should either be smart about it or not have sex at all. And I will now remember that every time I even think about sex. Im sorry to the people I made feel bad for saying that, but I wanted to know answers and if you didnt have any, you shouldn't have said anything. I probably shouldnt have said anything but im glad I did because I myself have learned from this experience. I will never ever try to kill my baby, if I do get pregnant in the future. Just so everyone knows, I took a pregnancy test yesterday, twice to be sure, and it came back negative. I still have an odd feeling though, so i'm going to take another one in a day or 2. My period is 6 days late but I cant really rely on that because its very irregular. So. Sorry to everyone I may have upset but I had no intention of doing so and just remember to think about what you say before you say it because I was asking a question, to which no one ever said I was every actually going to do, and instead I got picked apart.
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replied August 19th, 2004
Community Volunteer
You got picked apart because you asked about how to give yourelf a miscarriage - can you not understand that, can you not understand how horrendous that is.
If someone had posted on here asking how to kill a child would you have been shocked, if they said to I do it like this or is there an easier way?
Yes you would but you basically asked the same thing.
Think how you phrase your questions first and do not come on here slating these girls for your own mis-demeanour.
Your post was inconsiderate, selfish, immature and down-right nasty. I am gob-smacked at your reply, I don't need to know you to get a good idea of what a selfish, spoilt, stuck up little madam you are.
This is a very sharp post for me and I hope never to have to post as such again but do think before you speak.
Maybe if you had asked for information on what your options were (answers would have included termination, adoption, keeping it) instead of asking what you did. Rolling Eyes
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replied August 19th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I 100% agree with you kia-how dare she be so rude! Did she think she wouldn't be judged for what she said?

I'm so sick & tired of silly little girls running around having unprotected sex & then thinking about the consequences afterwards-they think they're so grown up!

Shannon-if you're not trying to get pregnant then use precautions-how difficult is it?????

.......................................... .......................................... .......................

* unprotected sex = pregnancy and/or std's
* birth control = only effective when used properly
* if you're not prepared to accept the consequences of unprotected sex then don't do it or do it carefully
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replied August 20th, 2004
Community Volunteer
scaredbaka wrote:
*edited*
1. Go to http://www.Sisterzeus.Com . They have a lot of information on contraceptive herbs and supplements.

scaredbaka - you portrayed this site in a very bad light.

That was/is wrong of you.

What they are trying to get across is a herbal version of a morning after pill - they really push that you take responsibilities and use contraception.

And recommend using the other parts of their site which tell of how to avoid pregnancy (birth control)
***"on a cautionary note, herbs affect every woman differently, results are not always consistent. What works for one may not work for others. It is my desire that woman have access to as much quality information as possible. Educated decisions are so important. Any thing you try you do so at your own risk. This web site is not a substitute for professional advice"***
***"if you try anything listed within you do so at your own risk. I have no medical training, I am a mere student of herbology and women's health. This information is not meant to take the place of medical treatment or advise. If you have questions please consult with your local midwife, herbalist, planned parenthood or women's clinic. "***
scaredbaka I am disappointed in you - you put this site across as a bunch of butchers, nothing there is *recommended* as standard and is intentionally proposed for people who would rather take a natural approach rather than chemicals but who understand there may be consequences and are prepared to accept those responsibilites.

It is also pointed out that in most (sucessful) cases you will also need a surgical procedure.
That these herbs should not be used past 8 weeks conception
that there are many complications
that if the herbs fail you will still need to get a surgical termination
that these procedures can result in infection, haemorrhage, organ failure, possibly death.
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replied August 20th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
Shannon: if you turn out to be pregnant you are safer to have an abortion with the right medical assitance. Do not buy herbal abortion pills of the internet as some people are suggesting.

A lot of the girls here are very much against abortion, I personally feel it is the womens choice what she wants, but I do not feel it should be used lightly or as a form of contraceptive. Take better care of yourself use protection. The fact you even considered thinking about causing your own miscarriage means you do not view yourself with a higher regard. I am sorry for my harsh repsonse before, as I had just suffered a miscarriage with a very much wanted baby. I wouldnt wish that pain on anyone else.

Life is like a baby bird and you have to hold onto it carefully, not let it fly away so easily
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Users who thank sweetsuzi for this post: guest47019 

replied August 20th, 2004
Experienced User
kia_breizzze wrote:
what they are trying to get across is a herbal version of a morning after pill - they really push that you take responsibilities and use contraception.


even so, I wanted this young lady who posted the topic to get at least one [semi] straight answer instead of being told she's immature, sick, demented, etc.

No matter what her question was, she deserved an answer.

..........

Scaredbaka - helps when she can
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replied August 20th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
And everyone gave her an answer & even if it wasn't the one she wanted then maybe it will make her realise that she needs to get responsible if she wants to have sex.

Liz-sick of telling immature little girls to get on birth control
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replied August 20th, 2004
Thank you to the ladies who understand that I am sorry for asking a stupid question and I am glad that I heard the answers that I did, because it made me realize that I could have been making a huge mistake.

Also, sparklypixie or whatever you are, if your so sick of trying to help other girls, then dont say anything! I didnt ask you in particular for help, especially when you didnt give it in a very good way. Yes, you helped me realize that I was being inconsiderate, but no one asked you to be a stuck up b*tch about it. (sorry for the language) im over it and I think you should be too because its not your life, so its not like you have to deal with it, so if your that aggrivated with it, then dont. Just stop checking these posts.


Suzi, thank you for your help and for forgiving me, if thats what you would call it, for making a mistake. Sometimes you have to take a chance before you realize it was the wrong one.


To anyone else, thank you and i'm sorry, but I would really appriciate it if everyone could just get along because all im doing is getting yelled at by everyone in my life. There are some people who wont even be friends with me anymore because I had sex. Yeah and I know you get what you deserve and I shouldnt have done it. I guess you could say what goes around comes around. I am under a lot of stress right now so sorry if I come off as bratty and selfish to anyone or whatever it was that I was recently called...
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replied August 20th, 2004
Community Volunteer
Shannon firstly drop the anger and accusations from your posts and people might respond better - just because ou got answers instead of what you wanted to hear.
Scaredbaka do not patronise - you portrayed a site very badly indeed - the site is not what you indicated it to be, you could very well have lead some one (not neccesarily shannon) into something they would regret by your words.
The site in question pushes prevention not cure and recommends you be ready to take full responsibility for your actions.
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replied August 20th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Ooo little girl knows big words! Yes i'm sick of helping silly little girls but I offer advice because people like you obviously don't know about contraception & need to be told. So don't bother with calling me a "stuck up !**@!" because that's so pathetic-you don't even know me! I am soooooooo over it to but I will check whatever posts I blummin well like!!
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replied August 20th, 2004
Experienced User
sparklypixie12 wrote:
and everyone gave her an answer & even if it wasn't the one she wanted then maybe it will make her realise that she needs to get responsible if she wants to have sex.


Liz-sick of telling immature little girls to get on birth control


i've read a lot of your posts on here and I sometimes think that you come across very rude. I understand that the question she asked may have been a "wow", but that doesnt' give you the right to bash her to pieces. Obviously she is very young, scared, and confused.... Lots of people come in here for help and answers. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Lisa - tired of nastiness!
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