*sigh* This Is Just So Hard Posted: 08-15-04 21:51pm
(as usual, if you don't know too much of
the story this might not make since to
you....Sorry)
oh lord girls. Here I go again. But I
just gotta talk to someone! Josh is
living with tessa again and as you know,
tessa lives 2 houses down from me. It's
so; so hard to see him everyday. I
thought..... I thought having him so
close would be cool. Then I could like
"hold on" to a lil of him. But.... I
just, I can't stand to look out the window
100 times a day to see if his car is at
tessa's, or if he's outside. But I can't
help it. I am ok, until I start
remembering things we did..... Places we
were together at, things he told
me.......... Gosh. I hate feeling like
this but I dunno how to feel. Thursday
will make exactly 5 months since we broke
up. I mean, it's been 5 damn months and I
still can't get over him. I still can't
think of anyone else. I go out with
friends. I have fun. I mean, I don't sit
in my room all day and dwell on it....
But I just can't see myself with anyone
else. Though, he's been with 2 people
since we broke it off..... I dunno. This
is just so hard to watch and see. And I
dunno how to do it. i've
always been credited for being so strong,
but when it comes to josh.... I am
anything but stronge. I am trying, but I
just...... I feel so weak when it comes
to him. Sometimes I start "remembering"
and all else in my mind just fades away
and I am stuck with the memories. I hate
him with everything I have.... And yet,
when I look at him and he dosen't see me
and he's acting like the old josh I
knew...... It's so damn hard... ......
.......
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ERICA83
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Mar 2004 Posts: 738 Location: clinton twp, MI
Posted: 08-15-04 22:20pm
I know it feels like u'll never get over
him but you will trust me. Be4 I got with
eric I was with a guy for like 4 years and
to make a long story short, things were
bad and I thought the exact same way that
there would be noone else for me or that I
would never get over him ect ect I cried
for a long time but once I met eric that
all changed. I have now found a man that
I am absolutely inlove with and have a
child with and I wouldnt change it for the
world. I know u go out with friends and
have fun n all but what u need to do is
find another guy or just other men to be
around . Try dating a lil that'll help .
Just try it u'll see, good luck 2 u and
keep me posted. If ya 4 get i'll check up
on u. Ttyl ~ erica.
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sweetsuzi
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 May 2004 Posts: 831 Location: Bonny Scotland
Posted: 08-15-04 22:23pm
Chanda I dont know the story. But by
going with men in general he probably
needs a good boot up the arse, a right
feckin tube lol
sounds like it's time for the old
destiny's child independant women or some
r.E.S.P.E.C.T on.
Honestly it may take it's time but it will
get easier, ole wise suzi says so.
If he's living where he can see you then
you can rub his nose in how much you are
over him. No matter how you are feeling.
Just be cool, calm and collected
damn it's 4am in the morning sorry
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 08-16-04 08:54am
I am so sorry hun. I wish I could tell
you it will go away with time, but it
really doesn't. I mean, yeah, it will
fade and you will think of him much, much
less, but the love you had for him will
never completely go away.
I was engaged for two years. After I
finally kicked him out (i loved him so
much, but he was driving me into a deep
dangerous depression) I did not date for 2
1/2 years. I am talking, nothing. No
date, kiss, hold hands, nothing. The
thought of being with anyone else made me
vomit. And later, it made me just want
to vomit. When I finally did start
dating again, anytime they did anything
that reminded me of dave I broke it off
completely. I didn't have a serious
relationship until four years after we
broke up and it wasn't healthy and ended
badly. I am back to just being single
because it is easier that way. I am to
the point now where I honestly do not care
if I never fall in love/get married. It
used to bother me a lot, but now, I really
don't care. I would rather be alone and
look out for myself then be with a guy who
cheats, lies, watches porn, goes to strip
clubs, acts like an ass around his
friends, or does any of that b.S that they
do. I dont need it. And neither do
you.
Anyway, enough about me! Focus on the
bad! This is morbid, but focus on how he
hurt you! Hate him with all that you
have! It is the easiest way to get over
him. At least, that is how I did. Good
luck to you and I am sorry.
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babyrae
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2004 Posts: 2957 Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posted: 08-16-04 10:18am
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Last edited by babyrae on 08-18-05 11:54am; edited 1 time in total
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Thanks for the support girls. I know i'll
get over him.... Or at least, more than I
am now. It's just hard sometimes. The
nights are bad. Cuz that is my down time,
so I stay on the phone with jeni or lauren
or stacie and I just try and keep my mind
off the stuff we did. Thanks so much. I
know you all have more important things to
worry about than my stupid lack of a
relationship..... I just need to vent
sometimes. Thanks girls!
Love you,
chanda
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 08-16-04 14:23pm
Hey when its late on your side, ill be on
yahoo! Lol. Cuz when its 12 your time,
its like 10 or something my time. Nad we
go to bed at like 11 now. Ill just boot
jose off the comp. Or you can vent to
him. He loooveeesss giving advice and
sitting there to hear stories. One time
chrystal was venting to me and jose got
the phone and talked to her for like 30
minutes while I sat on the side lol. He
gave her advice and listened and stuff.
It was funny. But he likes things like
that. When im with my mom and sisters and
theres drama going on and we sit there and
chit chat, jose is right there listening
and putting in his 2 cents haha.
But like I said you can get over him, but
you cant forget him. So maybe being
friends or somethign close might help.
Like me. Im telling you its the next best
thing, of course unless he was abusive.
Which neither guy was. So you never know.
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babyrae
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2004 Posts: 2957 Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posted: 08-16-04 19:45pm
Venting about ur relationship does n.O.T
bother us at all!!!!!! U listen to us
health forum and moan about silly problems
or even big problems and help us out, so
it doesnt bother us when u need help from
us too! Any type of problem u have (even
if its somethin simple like ur favorite tv
show got cancelled lol) we're here to
listen to u vent
i've
always been credited for being so strong,
but when it comes to josh.... I am
anything but stronge. I am trying, but I
just...... I feel so weak when it comes
to him. Sometimes I start "remembering"
and all else in my mind just fades away
and I am stuck with the memories. I hate
him with everything I have.... And yet,
when I look at him and he dosen't see me
and he's acting like the old josh I
knew...... It's so damn hard... 
