Q: Please Help Me.its Long But Please Help.
asked by:
KariM1804
on August 15th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
Hi everyone.. As many of u know... Ive had an eating disorder for years now (only a serious problem with it for about 2 1/2 yrs) delt with both anorexia and bulimia. Anyhow, while I was pregnant, I did very well for the most part until I got to about 8 months, then I started slipping again.. Well now garret is 4 weeks. I did good still the first 2 weeks he was here. But ive been slipping sence. Its so hard for me. I try 'dieting' because I want to finish loosing the preg weight, most of it is gone, but not all yet. A few more lbs to go. But dieting for me is too hard. I go overboard. It seems so easy just to eat normal healthy amounts, but for me its not, and it wont ever be. I once again have been counting calories like crazy. .I wont/cant eat food unless I make it myself (i fear/think other people will add butter or other fats) , I wont allow myself many 'normal' foods either.. And not sweets. And I have binged/purged now again a few times (on junk food) my doctor told me he feared and thought I would go back to how I was....I think I knew deep down, but I still want to fight it. I am eating enough calories still (safe diet calories) sometimes maybe a little under.. Between 1200-1,500 cals a day so I know im still okay. Its just that I know many of my eating habits are not normal, even if my calories arent low like they used to be...But my parents yelled at me today and are threatening me telling me if I go back to how I was before, they will take me to court to take garret away from me by saying im an unfit mother!! I know im not how I was before. I wont let myself get that way, and I wont let anyone take my son... I promised myself, and garret that. I need to try harder, and I am, but its so much harder then I thought it would be......I dont know what to do and my parents keep threatening me and its making things worse. I hope people dont lecture me. Believe me, I know I need to end this sh*t for myself and mostly my son.. And im trying.. But an eating disorder is so much more powerful then any of you can imagine (unless youve been in/ are in the same position)
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