My Pregnancy Is a Turnoff to My Partner! Posted: 08-15-04 14:30pm
I am now eight months pregnant and have
been told by my partner that the fact that
I am pregnant leaves him with no sexual
desire for me. I know his sex drive is
still very stron because he masturbates,
looks at porn and gets erections
regularly. I no longer know how to come
on to him and am feeling more and more
rejected, unattractive and down. Please
help me understand this and if I should be
worrying about it as much as I am. It is
hard to know that you are unattractive to
your mate. It hardly condones
self-confidence!
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 08-15-04 14:37pm
Your partner needs to get a clue! That
is just not right. Number one, if he is
with you and can have sex with you when he
wants, then he has no reason to be looking
at porn!
Number two, yes pregnancy does make you
heavier, but pregnancy is a beautiful
thing! You need to lay down the law.
Explain to him how this is making you feel
and that this is his baby too, and how
would he feel if the roles were
reversed.
Good luck to you and just remember that
you are beautiful, and if he keeps this up
you need to do something about it. There
is someone out there who will love you and
desire you no matter what.
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pitterpatter
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Aug 2004 Posts: 619 Location: United States
That's Wrong! Posted: 08-15-04 14:48pm
I don't think it's at all okay for a man
to treat his wife like that. If he's
looking at porn and ignoring you that's
not okay at all. I know that guys do
feel a little awkward when their wife is
pregnant, but that is no excuse to make
you feel unwanted. There is always a way
to work around it. I would sit down with
him and make him understand how it feels
and then I would tell him that no way
under no circumstances is it okay for him
to masterbate. Maybe i'm odd, but my
husband knows that i'm not okay with that
kind of stuff and I see it as cheating.
He understands how I feel about it too
though. He knows that if he wants to be
with me he cant' do that stuff I just
don't agree with it. Anyways, good luck
and I hope you can get him to understand.
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littlehunybunny
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 644 Location: Los Angeles California
Posted: 08-15-04 17:47pm
Ok, first of all you are beautiful!!!! Do
.N.O.T let him let him make you feel
otherwhise! Remember beauty comes with
in! He is a compleat .J.E.R.K to treat
you this way!!!!! Secondly, if he is
married, what the heck is he doing
watching porn!!! That is a huge no! My
bf watched pron if I wasn't in the mood,
or some times I would leave for an hour
and he would go to his porn and it would
royally piss me off. I told him how it
made me feel though and he got rid of it.
You need to stand up for youself.
Pregnancy is a beautiful thing!! He is so
rude to think other whise of you! He
better change his ways! You deserve
better!! After all you are carrying his
child!!!!
Stacey
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babytoon34
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Aug 2004 Posts: 32
Posted: 08-16-04 22:12pm
Hey guys, I am new here, but I have had
the same type of situation before. I am
sorry to hear that. He actually said
that he was no longer attracted to you, or
did he just say that he didn't want to
have sex anymore. See, some men have
trouble comprehending what actually is
taking place inside a womans body; leaving
them confused and scared. First off, if
that is the case, maybe you two should sit
down together and do some research on this
particular situation (sex during
pregnancy).
On the other hand, if he is being an ass,
you don't deserve that. Was the pregnancy
planned. As far as the porn goes, I
agree w/everyone else. That makes you
feel 2nd best, and makes your self esteam
go way down. Well, maybe things will get
better, and always know that you have
people like us to talk to at anytime.
Good luck!!!
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estie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Aug 2004 Posts: 2 Location: ontario
Pregnancy And Sex Posted: 08-18-04 08:56am
Thnx for the reply's! I figured I should
let you in on more information. He
hasn't looked at porn since and we did
just get the internet so maybe it was a
one time indulgence. Also, we do still
snuggle and kiss it just never turns to
sex. It is his disinterest in sex I find
disturbing because I don't understand and
if he doesn't want me now why would he
want me later? And no, the pregnancy was
not planned so perhaps that is another
factor. Anyway, I am having the baby in
3 weeks so soon I probably won't be
thinking much about sex either.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 08-18-04 09:33am
Well, all I can say is if after you have
that baby he is trying to have sex with
you, I would shut him off.
Just because the pregnancy wasn't planned
doesn't mean that it is okay for him to be
an suckers, have you really sat down and
talked about it? He may be scared of
hurting you/the baby. It may not be that
he doesn't want you, but maybe he is
frightened. I don't know. I hate to
jump to conclusions, but from your first
post he just seemed like a real low-life.
Well, good luck to you both and I hope
things work out!
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littlehunybunny
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 644 Location: Los Angeles California
Posted: 08-18-04 11:37am
Yeah, I agree with hotasfrick, the first
post did not make him sound good, but I
can understand more with your last post.
It very well could be that he is scared of
hurting you/baby. Pregnancy can do that
to some men. I do wish you all the luck
in the world. And please remember to keep
the lines of communication open, and talk
to him about this. Bottled up feelings
will kill a relationship. Good luck
hun.
Stacey
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linuxChique
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 May 2004 Posts: 4535
Posted: 08-18-04 11:46am
Biologically speaking, he has no reason to
want sex now, because he has no need to
reproduce. That doesn't mean he can't
still enjoy it, i'm just saying the fact
that the two of you have reproduced
successfully may play a part in his
disinterest. I'm sure he will come around
after the baby is born and you feel normal
again!
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littlehunybunny
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 644 Location: Los Angeles California
Posted: 08-18-04 14:36pm
Haha I love how you think erin! We are no
different from animals, and thats why we
are all sexed driven, even when we dont'
want children, we still have that need to
reproduce just as any other animal does,
though we have more since to not in most
cases then an animal. But erin could be
right about this, once reporduction is
successfull, there is no "need" for sex,
meaning the drive is not as strong. I am
sure he will come around as well.
Haha you go girl erin!! Lol
stacey
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 08-18-04 14:39pm
You girls are funny!
Actually we are the only creatures who
have sex for pleasure and not solely to
reproduce.
If he came around after the baby was born
I would tell him to get lost! If he
didn't want me all of the time then he
doesn't need to want me at all!
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littlehunybunny
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 644 Location: Los Angeles California
Posted: 08-18-04 14:46pm
Actually that isn't totally true
hotasfrick, though isn't faulse eather!!
munkies also have
sex for pleasure. But weather we do it
for fun or not, are drive is still there
to reproduce. Have you ever noticed
yourself get horny at certen times of the
month, more then normal? And men are like
dogs wanting to hump everything in sight.
Its all nature's way to reproduce, we just
know it feels good too, and know how to
keep ourselves from getting prego.
stacey
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Re: My Pregnancy Is a Turnoff to My Partner! Posted: 08-18-04 14:51pm
I just wanted to say i;m so sorry hun....
I'd hate to go thru with that. I mean I
know at times i'll feel like it because I
dont 'feel' like he looks at me the
same... But I have to trust my heart....
Have you talked to him about it?
munkies also have
sex for pleasure. But weather we do it
for fun or not, are drive is still there
to reproduce. Have you ever noticed
yourself get horny at certen times of the
month, more then normal? And men are like
dogs wanting to hump everything in sight.
Its all nature's way to reproduce, we just
know it feels good too, and know how to
keep ourselves from getting prego. 
