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Suicide Attempts (Page 1)

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I've tried to kill myself several times. I've tried drowning myself several times in my bathtub. Drowning would be an awful way to die. I've had a hunting rifle pointed to my head twice, but I wasn't able to pull the trigger. I think if I knew the combination to our safe. I would be dead now (probably at age 13). When I was a softmore in high school I started getting help and started taking anti-depressants, but things got worse. I tried killing myself with aspirin, but ended up damaging my liver badly. Killing yourself with aspirin can do lots of damage to your liver and probably won't kill you. I started taking barbiturates for anxiety, but I think it got me more depressed. I tried killing myself with about 60mg of alprazolam. My dad said that it would've taken 4 days to die if I was left untreated, but now I don't believe him. I wasn't sure what my doctor told my dad, because I was sleeping. About 3 years later I tried killing myself again with 600mg of valium and 400mg of valium the next day with alcohol. The highest dose that my doctor has put me on was 25mg of valium. I know this is hard to believe, but I never went to the hospital and the only side effect that I noticed was blurred vision. I should’ve had more side effects and I could’ve died. I drove to work those 2 days and I should’ve called in sick, because I couldn't see that well and was probably making lots of errors. A few days later I tried to kill myself with 3000mg of trazodone (a sleeping medication). What probably saved my life was that I took too much trazodone. Which made me vomit. For males I would not recommend overdosing on trazodone. It can cause a painful erection and may require surgery. When I overdosed on trazodone I started to feel better and didn't want to die, because it's also an anti-depressant. I also had a hell of a time falling asleep. A week later I tried to kill myself another way, but i'm going to keep it a secret. It's been 4 months since the last time I tried killing myself, but i'm not planning on trying to kill myself again. I feel a little better now.


Last edited by guest95365 on September 2nd, 2004 01:38 AM; edited 1 time in total
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First Helper brokenparts
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replied August 8th, 2004
Experienced User
You Have Had An Angel ...
That 's been watching out for you. But, it won 't keep on ... And on ... And on ... It won 't last forever. It can 't . So, we need to address the issue and get you some help . We can 't turn everything over to god . You are in a partenership with him . You must give foot to your prayers . Moses din 't part the red sea until he took the first step . You can 't get better until you yourself makes tht decision ... Nothing will happen .
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replied January 25th, 2012
stfu
really. it is QUITE clear that there is no god, or at the very best a hateful one, so keep your sickness to yourself.
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replied August 8th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I am sorry that you obviously feel so helpless. You really need to get some help. Seriously, it can/will get better if you help/let it. If you keep up all of these attempts then when the day comes that you want to live your body may not let you. Take care of yourself.
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replied September 26th, 2012
In many cases over 30% the depression is drug and therapy resistant and people suffer from suicidal depression for their entire adult lives. I am one of those THERE IS NO HELP FOR ANYONE, THAT IS LIKE THIS. So don't over what you don't know anything about.
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replied August 9th, 2004
Experienced User
We are all here if u wanna talk, I hope ur ok

xoxoxoxoxo
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replied August 9th, 2004
I Am Getting Help.
I was getting help and taking an anti-depressant before my first sucide attempt. I'm seeing a counselor every 2 week and a psychiatric doctor every month.
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replied October 18th, 2013
I am on Prozac (40mg) and Trazodone (50mg), I came apon this website because I thought of OD-ing on Trazodone aswell. I was on 150mg of Effexor but my psychiatrist made me tapper off of it because the withdrawals are sooo bad. I was physically sick for over a week, and my psychiatrist wouldn't give me anything for the horrible withdrawals. I saw her about 2 weeks ago, which was about a week after I had completely stopped taking Effexor. Since I have been off of it I have been suicidal. Often I have thought about drinking anti-freeze, but I heard that is an extremely painful way to die, although it is quick. To be honest though, my preferred way to do it is with a gun, but unfortunately it is illegal to have guns in Canada..Bummer. Oh and our health care may be free, but its bull. Doctors don't care about the mentally ill, they treat us as if we are all crazy, its rediculous. Does anyone know if you have to be an American citizen to go to Washington for assisted suicide ?

Mandie.
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replied August 9th, 2004
Experienced User
Are you feeling betta now?? Confused
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replied August 9th, 2004
I'm Feeling Better For Now.
It's only been 3 1/2 months since i've been feeling better. It's also been 3 1/2 months since i've been off of valium.
I'm pretty sure that valium caused my last attempt, because I can't think of anything else. I'm pretty i'll want to kill myself again, but this time I might not be so lucky. I might end up shooting myself in the head with a shotgun. I'm going to try to wait a while though. Hopefully there will be newer medications for social phobia and depression in the future which might prevent me from shooting myself.
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replied August 10th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Well if you are "getting help" as you stated and are still feeling like this then you really need to get different help, or speed things along! Yes, feeling like that really sucks, but killing yourself isn't going to do anyone any good. I know someone whom I was pretty close with who shot himself and let me tell you what, you are not doing anyone any good. Think of how you feel.....You don't want anyone else to feel like that do you? Didn't think so. Then you cannot kill yourself because in doing so you will inflict horrible pain on others.
Talk to you counselor and work this out. There is help! Life is worth living!
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replied September 26th, 2012
Let them suffer all they did is make me suffer? Why should I care?
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replied September 9th, 2004
Do you think I should delete this post, because i'm giving people ideas on how to kill themselves?
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replied September 10th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Well, being as your "ideas" didn't work I doubt anyone is going to try them.
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replied November 3rd, 2009
man,youve had somebody prayin for you in heaven.im praying for you too
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replied December 31st, 2009
My story
I tried taking trazodone to overdose and I just kept on praying all night to not die. I typed in "how many trazodone to die" and it brought me to you page and Im glad that you made and now I've made it.
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replied April 12th, 2012
trizadone death
same here i took some tonight and wanted to see how many it would take im here for now
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replied July 12th, 2012
that's why I'm here too. alas I'll probably buy a rope tomorrow and do it up oldschool
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User Profile
replied October 9th, 2010
Trazodone and a piece of Kurt's life.
@ Imstillalive... I am right there with you, I actually just got out of a psychiatric hospital, on Thursday, the 7th. I also see a psychiatrist regualarly, I am on, Prozac and Trazodone, and I typed up how to kill yourself with Trazodone, cause I thought about OD-ing on it tonight. Yes, I am still very suicidal... So yeah... Although I have a psychiatrist appointment on Monday. And yes, 300mg of Trazodone WILL DO NOTHING, I take 200mg, JUST TO SLEEP, and I hardly sleep, Haha... I am very messed up psychologically, and have a hell of a past. But I'll try again, cause nothing has gotten better, and the voice I hear in my head, told me to cut up my leg, so guess what... I am sure you can guess what happened next.
-Kurt Stojanovic
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replied September 5th, 2012
hang in there, psychiatry is doing more harm than your" ill
Ironically, the worst thing you can do for yourself or for another person is hand yourself over to psychiatry. Even if you hear or see things that are not there, or e.g. think your the king of Spain(i.e.delusional). Behaving in bizarre(albeit non violent)ways is a coping mechanism. Your rx is a perfect example of the subtly nasty aspect of "neurochemical" based psychiatry. The Trazodone makes you(or anybody) feel like a zombie and the Prozac makes you(or anbody)feel like jumping through the ceiling. At least you are not on the really nasty stuff:neuroleptics:e.g. abilify,risperdal, seroquel, et al). This !**@! has side effects that are nothing less than torture. I had a nervous breakdown years ago. the stupid shrink put me on a neuroleptic(i.e. antipsychotic)drug. It induced in me ceaseless pacing and when i sat down i thought i would die. it's like medically induced torture("thank you" dr. mengele). It's called akathisia. It was like having a 24/7 panic attack. and each day my body would go into medical emergency: all my vitals off the wall. a regular doctor saved my life by coming in everyday and giving me a barbiturate that gave me an hour or two of relief. but by stupid dr.mengele(psychiatrist)kept giving me the neuroleptic. After two week or so of that hell, somehow I was able to get released from the hospital on a complaint filed by a lawyer. till this day I am scarred emotionally by that experience. for years and till this day i am still everyday having pacing spells. So first m.h. tortures you and then it addicts you. i have been on benzos(e.g. xanax,clonazepam, ativan, diazepam, etc)for 25 years. And they are the hardest drugs to detox from. Yes harder than heroin. thats what several smack addicts told me too along with medical literature.

if you are hearing things, wearing your ear buds or headphones connected to your mp3 player or whatever usually works to alleviate voices in your head. just try listening to different things, music, talk radio, noise music, white noise, etc and you'll find some type of media will overcome the voice in your head. I have heard this from plenty of aural hallucinators that that is what helped diminish the voices from your head.

there are plenty of alternatives to or anti-psychiatry groups on the net. just search(or "google"). mindfreedom.org is one but they are more of an activist group than a help group. but the site has lots of links.

peace, love, joy, and all that good stuff will come to your life sooner or later. "all things come to pass" and so will your suicidal feelings. stay around, you are a value to the world.

dahszil
male
usa
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replied September 26th, 2012
All these drugs caused severe side effects for me as well and are entirely ineffective.
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replied June 11th, 2011
Suicide Tonight
I am thinking about taking my trazodone right now. I have read every post here and feel both sad and hopefull. Mostly ready to go see my aunt Christy and grandma and grandpa in heaven. I know that killing yourself is a rite of passage to hell. But I feel like i cant suffer anymore than now. I want somone to help me right now, please, before I take these pills. I am a veteran, please call the VA dept in Alburque, NM. If anybody answers this I will give my phone #, hurry quick please
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replied July 14th, 2011
Trazodone June 11th
Are you still there?
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replied July 17th, 2011
I'm 23 and for me.... it's been 11 years of the same tired song. Depression, cutting and suicide attempts....it NEVER gets better. I'm really at the end of my rope here. I sick of all these doctors telling me the same thing with absolutely NO results whatsoever. I don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes I think help is out there but lately I'm running out of options.
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replied November 17th, 2011
It doesn't get better
I've been depressed for 35 years and you guys that say it will get better are full of it. I've tried cutting my wrists a couple of times and I've been saving up trazadone of a while now. It's my security blanket if I need to get the heck out of this pain. I've been under many doctors care, seen therapists and I think the only times I was true happy I can count on one finger. And for you bible thumpers out there... That doesn't work either. The only thing keeping me from killing myself now is the fear of failing at it and that fear is getting weaker by the day...
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replied January 14th, 2012
depressinnc
I been in a hosp. for 9 days, i feel like it was a waste of my time, dr. presribe me several meds to help. but to no avail. I keep hearing things, i heard my wife say I need to get me a gun, I ask her, she denies she said that. I dream alot, when I do sleep which is seldom, I hear babies crying, people trying to hurt me,I found out I was type 2 diabetic in hosp, i am now seeing a M.D. therpist, and also a pysch. I tried trazone, abilify,cymbalta, and high bllod med, plus my diabetic meds. Life sucks, I been like this for several yrs, I am 60 yrs old. does anyone have any suggestions?
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replied March 21st, 2012
My mother was committed yesterday for the first time, since a near fatal suicide attempt five years ago. As an EMT, I was able to resuscitate her enough so that advanced life support did some good. She was never the same. She's still my mom, but that special character that made her someone I enjoyed to be with, died that day. Every day is a struggle. This morning, she went in for blood work, and asked for different meds. Automatically, they said well, you should go for inpatient therapy instead. Involuntary. Whisked away in the ambulance we both work for.. I never got to talk to her. The hospital they went to is 140mi away. The ambo thought it would be okay, and don't charge crew members, but.. yanno.. 140mi.. with gas at 3.99 a gallon. I can't do that, it's a 280mi round trip. I've never really had "depression", I've had stress reactions, etc. I've had bad days and bad weeks. But sitting here alone, not being able to speak to her - I called the hospital - they didn't think it was a good idea. I know she needs to focus on herself, but they have no sense of the impact on her family. It's late, I don't have anyone to talk to..and I have 3,650mg of Trazodone. I have a gun under the bed. Just for a second, I thought, why not? But then I burst into a blithering mess of tears and said out loud, I don't want to die. That was the first time in all my life, that I considered ending my life. Frightening.
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replied March 26th, 2012
Suicidal Depression
I have always had suicidal thoughts from the age of 12. But haven't really tried hard enough to kill myself but happens to be on my mind a lot, especially now-a-days, and constantly crying for no reasons sometimes too. Ya, I already feel guilty bout the ppl who I would hurt if I did this, but I just don't see a point in my life most of the time. Nothing good ever comes out of it, nothing good ever happens in it, and it's starting to consume my entire mind. Nothing but darkness and sadness, and yes I have gotten help and also on depression pills and sleeping pills being the depression wont let me sleep. And as ironic as it sounds, everywhere I go I see nooses. AHHHHHHH!!!! I'm just getting to that one certain point..... you guys know what point.... the end of the rope kind of point. Just wanna run into the wall and bash my head in it!! What's wrong with my head???????

!Frustrated!
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replied April 12th, 2012
Somebody really cares and needs you that much that you can't leave this world. It means that you really had a purpose to work on. Just convert your depression to inspiration. I know you're gonna be great. Smile
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