I've tried to kill myself several times.
I've tried drowning myself several times
in my bathtub. Drowning would be an awful
way to die. I've had a hunting rifle
pointed to my head twice, but I wasn't
able to pull the trigger. I think if I
knew the combination to our safe. I would
be dead now (probably at age 13). When I
was a softmore in high school I started
getting help and started taking
anti-depressants, but things got worse. I
tried killing myself with aspirin, but
ended up damaging my liver badly. Killing
yourself with aspirin can do lots of
damage to your liver and probably won't
kill you. I started taking barbiturates
for anxiety, but I think it got me more
depressed. I tried killing myself with
about 60mg of alprazolam. My dad said
that it would've taken 4 days to die if I
was left untreated, but now I don't
believe him. I wasn't sure what my doctor
told my dad, because I was sleeping.
About 3 years later I tried killing myself
again with 600mg of valium and 400mg of
valium the next day with alcohol. The
highest dose that my doctor has put me on
was 25mg of valium. I know this is hard
to believe, but I never went to the
hospital and the only side effect that I
noticed was blurred vision. I should’ve
had more side effects and I could’ve died.
I drove to work those 2 days and I
should’ve called in sick, because I
couldn't see that well and was probably
making lots of errors. A few days later I
tried to kill myself with 3000mg of
trazodone (a sleeping medication). What
probably saved my life was that I took too
much trazodone. Which made me vomit. For
males I would not recommend overdosing on
trazodone. It can cause a painful
erection and may require surgery. When I
overdosed on trazodone I started to feel
better and didn't want to die, because
it's also an anti-depressant. I also had
a hell of a time falling asleep. A week
later I tried to kill myself another way,
but i'm going to keep it a secret. It's
been 4 months since the last time I tried
killing myself, but i'm not planning on
trying to kill myself again. I feel a
little better now.
Last edited by Imstillalive on 09-02-04 01:38am; edited 1 time in total
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lollipop4u
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Posts: 79 Location: pottsboro
You Have Had An Angel ... Posted: 08-08-04 05:24am
That 's been watching out for you. But,
it won 't keep on ... And on ...
And on ... It won 't last forever.
It can 't . So, we need to address the
issue and get you some help . We can 't
turn everything over to god . You are in
a partenership with him . You must give
foot to your prayers . Moses din 't part
the red sea until he took the first step .
You can 't get better until you yourself
makes tht decision ... Nothing will
happen .
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 08-08-04 17:08pm
I am sorry that you obviously feel so
helpless. You really need to get some
help. Seriously, it can/will get better
if you help/let it. If you keep up all
of these attempts then when the day comes
that you want to live your body may not
let you. Take care of yourself.
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>?¿_BaByGuRL_?¿<
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jul 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 08-09-04 00:19am
We are all here if u wanna talk, I hope ur
ok
xoxoxoxoxo
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Imstillalive
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2004 Posts: 19
I Am Getting Help. Posted: 08-09-04 00:33am
I was getting help and taking an
anti-depressant before my first sucide
attempt. I'm seeing a counselor every 2
week and a psychiatric doctor every month.
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>?¿_BaByGuRL_?¿<
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jul 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 08-09-04 00:35am
Are you feeling betta now??
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Imstillalive
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2004 Posts: 19
I'm Feeling Better For Now. Posted: 08-09-04 22:15pm
It's only been 3 1/2 months since i've
been feeling better. It's also been 3
1/2 months since i've been off of valium.
I'm pretty sure that valium caused my last
attempt, because I can't think of anything
else. I'm pretty i'll want to kill
myself again, but this time I might not be
so lucky. I might end up shooting myself
in the head with a shotgun. I'm going to
try to wait a while though. Hopefully
there will be newer medications for social
phobia and depression in the future which
might prevent me from shooting myself.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 08-10-04 07:08am
Well if you are "getting help" as you
stated and are still feeling like this
then you really need to get different
help, or speed things along! Yes,
feeling like that really sucks, but
killing yourself isn't going to do anyone
any good. I know someone whom I was
pretty close with who shot himself and let
me tell you what, you are not doing anyone
any good. Think of how you feel.....You
don't want anyone else to feel like that
do you? Didn't think so. Then you
cannot kill yourself because in doing so
you will inflict horrible pain on
others.
Talk to you counselor and work this out.
There is help! Life is worth living!
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Imstillalive
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2004 Posts: 19
Posted: 09-09-04 19:02pm
Do you think I should delete this post,
because i'm giving people ideas on how to
kill themselves?
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 09-10-04 01:27am
Well, being as your "ideas" didn't work I
doubt anyone is going to try them.
