Awww hun dont worry! Ur just being a good mom is all! Ur worried about being there for ur baby and getting a good education. But we know u can do it! I honestly dont think its fair eitehr that dewitt can go to school and u have to raise a baby, go to school, and now ur mom is pushing u to get a job? Thats too hard on u. She has to understand that. Ur going to school and raising ur baby and thats damn good parenting right there. So money may be a little tight but ur mom knows that joshie would much rather appreciate u being home with him after school and when u can. What the hell is dewitts problem lately anyways?? Has he sent any money or anything yet? He needs to drop out of school, get a fulltime job and support his kid. Hes been so immature since before josh was born and I sooooo wish I could just go down there and friggen smack him one. Hun, for the day, take joshie to the beach, lay down, do some tanning and just relax! U dont need this rght now its ur summer! try and take a breather for a bit, even if u need some alone time, go for a walk or get some fresh air! ya know we're always here for ya!

Love,
shauna

Its ok chrissy I think you just need a little you time... If you've come this far with josh you can make it the rest of the way sweetie and have u talked to dewitt. I have heard that if you put them on child support and you live more than 100 miles away the father has to take the child for sometime too, and you wanting time for yourself does not make you a bad mom, you are a very good mom... If you werent who knows where josh would be. Things will look up.
Meagan

Thanks girls that helps a lot. No shauna I havent seen a dime from him now. He left me a message saying that he was going to send 20 dollars a month until he could get a job .A.F.T.E.R football season. Do you believe that? After! And 20 bucks a month wont even pay for diapers.....He makes me sooooo mad. I havent even talked to him in like 2 weeks.....I am sick of it. If he wants me he knows my number. Hes called a couple times but I wasnt here and im not sure I would have answered anyways. And meagan I would love to have a little me time, but dewitt wouldnt/couldnt take care of him. He would let his mom take care of him and I dont trust that two-faced nerd. And like, I said, i'm just stressed. Even if I do somehow make it through 3 more years of school, what kind of job am I going to get? I mean I cant really go to college.....I wont have the money! I will have to be supporting myself and joshua.....I am supposed to be babysitting for a friend of my moms this week and I am going to use 25 bucks to get a child support case started because I am just so sick of this caca. I dont get it. I felt fine all day until a little while ago and then I wanted to cry and now I wanna punch somebody. My counselor said she wants to talk some more to me about depression and the fact that she thinks I might have it but I knew that because I was diagnosed a long time ago.....So I will probably have to get on meds and that will be more money! I am too young to be worrying about this stuff but I cant help it! I may be 25 before I get a car! My parents wont get me one. Wont even help me pay for it. Sorry you guys. I usually try to be somewhat positive but today I just feel like the world is against me. Thanks for listening.

There are just some times when the only thing that helps a little is to point out everything wrong. Well I dont know if they have this where u are but my cousin had a baby last year and she was 15, and she got her ged and this fall she is going to this thing called "job corp" and its like a technical school and then after u graduate from them they help u find a job I will try and get more info about it and send it to you.

Thanks....That rings a bell.....I think ive seen their commercials and stuff....Dont you have to be 16 to get your ged though? I mean once josh gets older I wont feel so lousy about putting him in daycare or something ya know? Once the time has passed where my instructions wont be so picky and detailed. I really should finish high school and I promised my mom I would but I just dont know if I can do it. I will see how this year goes and hopefully it will go good, but if not well I dunno. Thanks a lot though meagen you really help.

Hey hun im so sorry your feeling down. Wow, I was thinking u were older. So your going to be a sophmore this year right?? Dont feel like a bad person for adoption coming to ur mind.. Ive even caught myself thinking that (the first week he was here) I love him sooooooo much but sometimes things feel so hopeless. But their not hun. Look how far youve made it! Your a great mom and I know this and I know deep down you know it too. I honestly would reccomend trying your very hardest to finish highschool. I know you feel down and maybe dont feel like u can do it, but u can and I know it. Ive had friends that have done it and had their babys freshman year and finished highschool with me. It was hard for them. But if u have the strength to raise josh, u can find the strength to finish school. Its just so much harder without the diploma. I mean people can do it without, it just makes me tuffer in the long run. But I believe in you and I know the rest the girls here do too!! I hope you feel better hun, even when things seem at their worst, theres always something better that will happen, it just takes some time. I truly do believe god only gives you what you can handle*

Yeah chrissy I just looked it up and they want u to be 16 before u can get a ged, but here we have schools that are kinda like where u can take all your classes at your own pace and most people finish like two years early, do you have something like that where u are? But I am on the net now looking for jobcorp.

I have no idea. Like I said, I want to try and finish school, but just in case that doesn't work I want to have a back up plan. Do you parents have to sign for you to get a ged? I hope not.....But maybe if I talked about it with my mom she would understand and help me a little more. Like when I am trying to do homework or something. Because normally if I ask her to watch him for 10 minutes or something while I run to the store she says something like "you made your bed now lay in it" she thinks because I got pregnant I don't deserve a break. But yet she complains about needing a break from her kids all the time. Sometimes she is such a hypocrite.

Yah u got pregnant and now ur raising a son, but that doesnt mean its 24/7! In the beginning u usually spend a lot of time with them so they can adjust to you and what not, but joshies gettin big now and its not gonna kill him if u leave for a few hours or so. Your mom has got to understand too where ur coming from. I think pregnant teenagers are much stronger people than a lot of other people out there.
As for dewitt.. I seriously swear im taking the next plane down there and kicking his a**! Hes such a lowlife. 20 dollars a month?? Whats he think josh is, a goldfish? Like, jeez that'll barely get joshie diapers. He needs a smack and I cant wait until u slap him wit child support and hes screwed for his college becuz he has to start taking out of his college fund for joshie. Maybe now he'll smarten up and learn to take care of his kid. He'll regret it when he tries to see josh and will look in josh's eyes and josh wont show any remembrance for him cuz hes done nothin for him.
I know school is hard to finish... I didnt think id do it but trust mne, u will be so damn proud once u get that diploma!!! I know a woman who was 30 years old, in my graduating class, with 3 kids, came back to highschool just to get her diploma and man was she ever proud when she got it!! U'll be able to find a job afterwards, trust me! Lol! My mom works for the government too and she let me in on a secret. If u apply or go to school to try and be a social worker, u'll have more a chance of gettin on if ur a single mom. Crazy eh? Lol! Well, I hope everythign works out and ur feelin better **hugs** u know we're here for ya!

Shauna

Aw, huni! I am so sorry you feel bad. If it continues, you will need to get medication. I know that means more money, but it will make you feel so much more like yourself. I cannot(caps) go without taking my zoloft! The meds don't make you happy all the time, but they make you feel more like yourself. As for "dewitt the deadbeat sperm donor," he needs a football shoved up his butthole!! You are such a wonderful mother. And all you have to do to reach your goals is think about that sweet chunny cheeked josh! With his unending support, you can do anything you want. So you go to school and you study hard, and when you get home, he will be there with a smile on his face that means "mommy, I am so proud of you!" and all the girls here love you and we are here for you anytime!!

Love,
megan

Thanks everyone.....I feel loads better today! I called dewitt last night just to be mean, and I was nice at first and then we got into it about him going to college and all this crap and I told him how unfair it was and he said he was going to have it much harder.....4-5 hours of school and 3-4 hours of football practice a day, let me tell you....That totally compares with 8 hours of school, however many of homework, keeping up with household chores, and taking care of josh, which is a 24/7 job! And I told him I didn't care if he had to work until 7:30 am and have to be at class at 8....His ass was getting a job football season or not. Then e said I thought you wanted me to go to college and I said yeah, here, but now I frankly don't give a damn. Then he was like sorry, I was trying to better myself so that me and my son could have a better life. I went off on him. I told him josh wasnt his son and he had no right to call him that. Then he handed the phone to his mom and shes like whats goin on now....And I told her hes pathetic....He cant even be a man and handle his own....And then I heard him in the background runnin his mouth and sayin forget her and im like fine and I hung up. I'm amazed his mother didnt call me back to health forum. I dont care if I ever talk to him again. As soon as I get the money from babysitting this week I am going to take 25 of it and go to the child support office and get this started because I am so sick of his caca and damn sick of letting him get away with whatever the hell he wants. Lol sorry so long but I feel so much better since yelling at him. I'd be amazed if he didn't cry. Lol.

Good for u chrissy!!!!
Im so proud of u!! I cant wait to find out what dewitt does when u smack him wit child support. Goin to college to better himand his son? Why the hell dont he come visit his on. The first years and the most important years to be in a kids life, and hes missin it all for "school and football pratice"? What a f**kin immature ass! Boy I hope he gets a smack soon. He definetly has some growing up to do Good job!!!!

Shauna

Crappers: minor setback....That lady doesn't need me this week because she got her kid into the y. Dangit. Oh well I will just get the money from mom. I know she wont mind paying for this. Lol. I know I can't wait either. I'm gonna make him sorry he ever even met me.....Lol. I feel so much better today!!!

Sorry that dewitt is putting you through a lot but you are being a good mom and even though you are stressing out you are not giving up which is a good thing. Serves you right to call him and tell him all that because he needs a reality check you did not make this baby alone.

It was selfish of him to only think about doing him so he could later have a better life for him and ur son. Like shauna said he should be seeing the baby now.
He deserves to be paying child support because babies do need essentials and you can't be doing this all by yourself.

Let us know how it goes.

Madelyne