I can not possibly imagine how you are feeling, and I am so sorry. If I could give you any advice it would be to stop trying. Just let life happen. You know how when you really really want something to happen it doesn't and when you don't think about it, thats when it happens. Well maybe that would work. Just don't give up, there are other options, have you looked into adoption? It's a long process but definitly worth it. Good luck to you, I really hope everything works out. :d

I agree - often you fail to fall pregnant simply because you are both(both!!) so uptight about the whole thing - many couples have succeeded by going out to dinner, relaxing, having a couple of drinks & then making love - not to have a baby - just to make love!!

Or by going on a holiday(even a short one)& relaxing. That's also why couples who adopt sometimes then have a baby - they've relaxed & stopped trying!!

Hello purple333 and jbugg412 thanks for your reply, its nice to know that there are real people out there. Thank you for your kind words, i've done some thinking after I posted my msg and my husband and I decided that we're going to take a break and maybe go away in sept. Part of my problem is that I too stubborn to give up, someone up there is trying to tell me something. Do you recommend coucilling? What about getting a dog or yoga? I have to find something to do otherwise i'd be thinking about it all the time.

It's not a bad idea to distract your mind yoga is always good for relaxing especially when you are so stressed.
Having a pet is also nice but like purple333 and jbugg412 their suggestion was good when you least expect something that's when it will happen. Good luck with everything and sorry to hear about your visit to the doctor.

Don't worry have faith and let things happen on it's own.

Don't get a pet till after you get back in september - it wouldn't be fair to leave it & it & you would fret!!

Yoga would be good for relaxing now & also later. I am sure you also have other interests so what about joining a group (volunteer, craft, history, writing, etc etc) to keep you busy & keep yourr mind off things.

As to councelling - that could help - if (caps) you get a good one & if it doesn't cause more stress jsut constantly talking about it, personally I think i'd do the relaxing, the holiday & develop a hobby/interest first.

Then if you still don't fall pregnant & you've had all the tests (& your husband has - I mean what about his sperm count??) - including testing your genes?? - then go for counselling.

How long have you been trying? Don't give up yet! But don't stress out either! My aunt and uncle tried for 13 years to conceive unsuccessfully, and the year they gave up, she became pregnant naturally and gave birth to a healthy baby boy!

Hello everyone;

thanks for all of your suggestions, I think i'll start with the yoga, just to relax. Since we've been seeing this specialist he did all these tests before we even started our cycle monitoring. My husband's sperm count was tested as normal. During my last ivf transfer I started out with alot of eggs during the retreival but when they went to fertilize them some were empty some didn't fertilize and finally two fertilized out of 14. I guess this batch wasn't too viable. We've been trying for now 3yrs, plus this is my second marriage and I didn't get pregnant the first time either. It just feels like my life has had one disappointment after another, in highschool I was raped then my horrible relationship with my first husband, who treated like dirt, then my divorce, then my father got sick with cancer and later passed, and now this. Sometimes I don't know how I got through this, but something inside of me keeps telling me to move on. Anyway I won't be the first and certainly not the last, its just nice to know that there is support out there. I'm so glad I came across this website thanks everyone. Talk to you soon....

Sorry to hear about your past it must be a hard road, but it's good that you don't give up and that always makes you a better person when you continue life even if at times it's hard and you never understand why it has to be you it's happening to but don't give up because at the end you'll get what you want. It may not happen so fast but it will you just have to always stay positive.

Continue your yoga and your counseling (when you take it) i'm sure that will help.

Good luck with all that you do.

Short and sweet, I had the same problem, no pregnancy even with drugs, etc... Eventually I gave up because I couldnt deal with the stress of negative preganancy tests anymore. I lost weight with exercise and completely forgot about getting pregnant. I then was 7 weeks along waiting and waiting for a period that never came, I had no clue I was even pregnant... I have three children now ages 7, 5 and 2

relax, enjoy getting away in september, pets are good but will only remind you of why you got a pet. Yoga is great but nothing beats an endorphin rush from cardio. An increase (or decrease) in metabolism has been proven to shift a women's hormone cycle and sometimes ending in natural pregnancy.

Also, I know this wasn't part of your post, but I can only guess that sex has become methodical and planned. Working on that may help conception eventually also. Relax and start enjoying being a couple again. Start making love not making babies. An increase in sex drive may just be the jump start both your systems need.

Dssp-
i am so sorry to hear about your infertility struggles. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for over 3 years. I noticed that some of the posts said you should just relax and not think about it. I don't know about you, but that is the worst thing you can say to someone who is struggling with infertility. If it were only that simple. I started doing acupuncture last february after 3 unsuccessful attempts at artificial insemination and 3 rounds of clomid. I didn't like how the clomid made me feel at all and I was desperate not to have to put any more drugs into my system. I saw the acupuncturist faithfully--once a week. He also had me taking a couple of herbs to help with my endometrosis. I had incredibly painful periods too. We got pregnant in april--on our own. We were so happy. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I was and still am devastated. We have the okay from the doc to start trying again, but I am just not quite ready emotionally yet.
I highly recommend acupuncture. I don't know if you have that available where you are located, but I have also seen reports that it increases your chances of a successful ivf. It has something to do with increasing the blood flow. I am back at the acupuncturist and am hopeful that we will get pregnant again. I also think eliminating msg from my diet played a large part in it. If you want more information--let me know. I know where you are coming from and it always helps me to talk to other people who are going through it too. Hang in there!
Vickie

When you have sex, don't even think about the "getting pregnant" part of it. Just have an amazing time, and enjoy yourself. If you are so worried about getting pregnant and keep thinking about it every time before or during sex, chances are u wont become pregnant.

Just have a lot of fun, and obviously don't use protection.

Has he had his sperm count checked???

don't worry too much. My father was told that he wouldn't be able to have children. He and my mother were married for 8 years before I came along. Then, when I was 7, my father found out that his ex-girlfriend had twins that were his, after she lied and said they were someone else's. just keep trying, and I agree with everyone else, take a vacation, and relax for a while! Best of luck to you and your husband.