Past four years of my life.....*warning* some of this caca is pretty sick.

1995:seven years old, finally...I have a daddy.
Mommy is getting married, i'm the flower girl.
During the wedding my new daddy cried.

1996:not too long after that I had a sister.
Her name is alyssa, I was sooo excited!Mommy pulled me out of school because daddy said, well...It would be better to be out of public school. Even though teachers wanted to skip me up grades for being so smart.

1997: mommy and daddy had a boy, logan..Wow! Two siblings! I'm so excited....Now there really isnt much time for me anymore...

1998: i'm still out of school....And...I havent learned anything. Mommy is always too tired to teach me. So I havent done school at all....

1999: I guess they deicded to put me back in school....I was sooo excited!.....I got straight a's and won the dare character award...Mommy is getting more depressed..And..Well...Daddy..More lazy and more mean to me...He's nice to the others..Why not to me??

2000: going into the sixth grade...I'm supposed to be in seventh....But when mom and dad put me back in public school I was supposed to be in 6 not 5th...Dad started to do new things...Tell me not to tell mommy, cause it could get in trouble. I'm not quite sure if it's right or not....Until he kept on doing these things to me more frequently...Daddy made me touch him. Like grown-ups do. He touched me too. But he made it out to be a game...And I didn't want him to hurt me..So I went along with it. When I didn't do what he wanted me to do, he would ground me...Tell my mom that I was a very bad girl. I would get grounded for weeks, months...It didn't matter. I didn't want to tell mom cause I wanted alyssa and logan....And my new sister cheyenee to have a dad. Until finally....He got me in my sleep. I let him do those things to me..I woke up while he was...But I pretended to roll over...Like I didn't know what was going on....I told mommy..And she cried and so did you, scott...But this time...It wasnt tears of happiness. Mom could have left you scott....But she didn't you health questions..I talked her out of it.....And you promised to never do it again.

2001: thirteen...Developing....You stair at me....All the time..Occasionaly you'll touch me....Even though I don't want you to. Yet I won't tell mom cause this time she will leave you.

2002: fourteen....I can't effing take it anymore, you health questions...I'm getting in more fights with mom, I don't know why. I get the police called on me...I'm having sex with my new boyfriend stephen...I'm listening to gothic music...I dress in black and only black....I hate this effing world..I tried to kill myself god knows how many times...Cut myself...So many times.....I lash out and tell mom what you do/and did to me....See, mom only knew about that one time in bed....She didn't know about all the other times....Sick make love. Now dcfs is involved....Your kicked out of the house....Stupid effers are coming to my school all the god damn time. I have to go to consulling!

2003: still in counsilling....You are too....Moms divorcing scott. What now? I bet life sucks!......My new boyfriend and I are having a baby..Yes a baby...I'm fifteen years old. I wrote a letter to the states attourny....So they'll let scott still see hiskids with supervision...And scott can not come around me at all......As for my boyfriend..He wants to fool around on me because im fat and pregnant....I know he loves me...And he mentally abuses me...But he does treat me well too

2004: I get done with counsilling....And scott has to go until im 18. Group..For sex offenders. I had my child in february....In march I split up with his dad. Too mentally abusing. I did meet this one guy, patrick. I've hung out with him many times before..Last year....At football games. I've had a crush on him for awhile. Now we are in love....I still love stephen....He never sees alexander. Mom gets lonly at times..I blaim myself. Occasionaly i'll cut myself. Oh..I'm out of that gothic scene....But I love rock music. I wear what I want.

Those. Are my years of hell. Metting patrick.....Just promises me that my years to come will be better.