My husband was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder (mixed). He is also an alcoholic and was a drug user (marijuana and cocaine). Marijuana was the drug I knew he had used; I had found out later (after we were married) that he'd been using cocaine for 3 out of the first 4 years of our relationship. Before he was diagnosed with bd, he was in aa. But, a couple of months ago, while I was away visiting family, he fell off the wagon, was pulled over for a dui, then attempted suicide (not the first attempt). I am now separated from him - I left him. We have been married only a year.

Before we were married, we had our struggles - mostly dealing with his alcohol addiction. But, he assured me he was committed to quitting. He hadn't had a drink for almost a year. I knew going through with the marriage was a risk, but I loved him and trusted what he was telling me -when you love someone, you believe in them. Plus, he had gotten a new job and things were really looking up for our future.

In one weekend, our lives have changed forever. I don't know how many chances i'm supposed to give this guy. I'm not a pushover, and consider myself to be a good person who always stives to do the right thing. I just don't know if I can be with someone who has hurt me and disappointed me time and time again. Every time I go to trust him, he lets me down. I hear of spouses who live with their husbands or wives with bd. How? How do they do it? What my husband has done has upset me, my family, his family, my friends, his friends. I feel if I decide to give him another chance, I will lose the respect of my family and friends who are tired of seeing me hurt by him - and coming to my "rescue."

since we've been separated, I have spoken with my husband on the phone a few times. Some calls he sounds sincerely apologetic for what he has done - and admits that he has caused this separation. Other calls, he is like a different person - hateful and bitter, blaming me for his problems - creating farfetched reasons why he is in the predicament he is. He recently told me that i'm a reason to drink. I am so devastated about our separation. I love my husband, but don't know if it's enough to go back to him - and risk losing the support of my family. I don't know what to do. I try to reason in my head that it's the best thing. I think of all the times he's hurt me (emotionally), which makes me think that i'm doing the right thing; until I read other spouses who are "sticking it out" to save their marriage.

I feel guilty for leaving him. But, again - how many chances do I give this man? He has cheated on me, lied to me, hurt my family more than once, has alcohol and drug addictions, cannot find a job (he has a masters degree), and now this. Friends and family have assured me that life will be better without him and to be thankful we don't have any children. But, they're not the ones who love this guy. And, I do. Plus, it's easy for them to say - they have spouses. Plus, I really meant it when I said my vows at our wedding. I never went into my marriage thinking, "well, if he screws up, i'll just get a divorce." I don't want to get divorced.

Any advice or words of reason are welcomed. I'm so confused about what to do.