My husband went out with friends the other
night and he did not get home unitl 5:00am
when I woke up he was sleeping on the
couch and his clothes were in the laundry
room. When I picked them up to put them
away I noticed makeup stains on the collar
of his white dress shirt. When I asked
him about it he told me I was being
ridiculous. I know makeup stains when I
see them and I am really, really upset by
this, can't eat or sleep. If he ran into
a friend and gave someone a hug and maybe
makeup got on his shirt then why doesn't
he just say that? Am I crazy or is he up
to no good?
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olivia3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 5
Ask Him Again... Posted: 07-24-04 22:07pm
I just read your post. I've always been a
fan of giving someone the benefit of the
doubt. Plus, i've always wanted to trust
people when they're telling me something.
However, my husband lied to me many, many
times - I came to find out later. Then,
whenever he told me something, there was
always an element of doubt in my mind if
it was the actual truth.
In your case, I would ask him again.
Reason I say this is because I thought his
answer was in a way, evading your
question. I'm sure it was makeup. Just
tell him that you know makeup when you see
makeup and that you'd appreciate that he
be honest now. Once there is a trust
breakdown, it's very hard to build it back
up. I know it's tough to have to put your
husband "on the stand", but you've got to
explain to him why it's upsetting you -
tell him to try and see it from your
perspective.
On a side note, i'm not sure how often
your husband stays out until 5:00 am -
maybe it was a one time thing. But, don't
let that lifestyle continue. You can't
change him, but you can change how you
deal with it. You don't have put up with
a guy who doesn't have any concern for
your feelings.
I wish you all the best in your situation.
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paulv
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2004 Posts: 55 Location: Canada
Watching Your Husband. Posted: 07-28-04 04:07am
I think the best thing is to let it go and
just watch him closely.
Don't let him leave so late, without a
phone number where you can get in touch
with him.
A cellular phone or pager may be
necessary, if he is persistantly quite
late coming back.
Give him a little leeway but make sure you
know what he is doing from now on.
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aanifant
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 101 Location: Galway
Posted: 08-18-04 05:43am
I don't think you should have to be his
minder, paging, calling, etc. Trust your
feelings, i.E. Hunches and address it
again with him very clearly and firmly so
he knows the 'ridiculous wife' plea will
not fly. If your suspicion continues
remember you have yourself-- your own
integrity and sanity-- to preserve before
anyone, then make your decison on what is
best for you.
