Dear laura,it is a total misconception that intercourse alone will satisfy a woman.Many women never reach orgasm through intercourse!Some do,but ,i think that is the minority,now,,the real issue is why you are not achieving orgasm.Do you know what an orgasm feels like?Have you ever brought yourself to one?If you know where and how you like to be touched,you can show your husband.Don't say you can't do that,if he loves you and wants to please you,this is probably frustrating him as well.Did you know that your clitoris is the only part of your body created soley for pleasure??God created us that way,so it was his intention for us to feel pleasure with out mates!Oh,and the part about your husband having an orgasm every time you make love,god created man that way also.Pretty much a sure thing for him every time.God spent a little more time on our design,more complex .Try to have your husband manually or orally bring you to orgasm,this is called foreplay and some women only achieve orgasm this way.I don't know how you feel about vibrators,but they can sure help!Hope I was helpful!Good luck to both of you!Pattty

You asked me a few questions which I posted

i don't know if I had a orgasm

what generates a woman to have a orgasm

what are signs a woman is having a orgasm

no I am not sure what you mean by clitoris
i have not masturbated to teach myself , I am very embarrised to try this

Usually intercourse is ended by the man having an orgasm. You're going to have to find your clitiris and show him where it is, or he can feel around and you tell him what feels good.

Once you do that, you can work on intercourse and him holding his errection longer and maybeone day you will orgasm durring sex alone. But if that does't work, some people have their husband or partner touch the woman's clit while intercourse. If he doesn't do it then you can do it yourself.

I suppose you never watched porno? You know, in all honesty, maybe you and your husband can watch porn, if you two are not against it.

Hay! Im also a christian, but having sex before marraige.
My whole family is like, "we are going to wait till were marraide and its going to be perfect!"
but thats totally not true, god could make it perfect but you do have to do somethings yourself.
Pornos are so good sometimes but are very "ungodly" so it depends on how comitted you are.
To be perfectly honest... It takes a lot for us women to get excitted, I was with my boyfriend for 6months before having an orgasm.
Is your husband lazy? Make sure you have lots and lots of foreplay.
Dont worry about your husband for once and take control, do everything you want to do in bed because men are happy in bed no matter what.
Or you can just buy a vibrator
good luck!
.... Prayer would help as well, god can do anythign if you ask him.

Hope u dont mind some advice from an older male who has experienced many different situations. It sounds as though u need to break through the sexual barrier of it being "bad". It is great that u and yr husband waited until marriage. Now the fun and difficult part begins. First u need to be able to relate to one another exactly what each wants. It sounds as though this particularly pertains to u. I suggest u learn to explore urself at your own pace without interruptions. Is it possible for you to be alone at some point in the day or evening for an hour or so? If so, learn to pleasure yrself manually to learn about yr clitoris and how to stimulate yrself to orgasm. I have recommended in the past that a woman should take a bath, relax and then lock her bedroom door with a hand held mirror and explore her vaginal area to locate the clitoris and then learn to please herself. Do you like pressure on this area? Do you like it stroked hard? Fast? And so on. Once you have managed to please yourself then you can teach your husband the same. Some women have a hangup because for years they may have masturbated in their rooms but never achieved an orgasm because they were afraid someone in the house (ie parents, siblings) would hear them. They then learned to muffle their cries of pleasure. In your case in sounds as though the belief of sex is bad until marriage and then its good sounds confusing. The important matter in this situation is for your and your husband to be able to communicate your needs. I would not recommend porn. You want to be able to feel sexual towards the individual you are with. Porno shows well developed women and well hung guys who manage to shoot their stuff across the room and women who can be acrobats with multiple guys. You want to learn to enjoy your husband as he should want to enjoy you. You are twenty two and have many years ahead of you. For you and your husbands sake learn to enjoy sex; but it begins with you learning to experiment with what you like. Unfortunately sex is a subject we as a society do not want to talk about and it is one of the most important aspects of our lives. So teach your husband how to please you. I hope I haven't bored you. I wish you and your husband all the best. Let us know how it works out.

From my experiance it took me a little while to truely find out what I liked and what my partner liked. You have only being active for a few months, you have to get to know one another in this sense. It took me a long time for him to know how to please me properly and me him. Just relax and have fun. Theres no need to worry. It's all about having fun and sharing.

Ok, I know everyone has said women should relax, masturbate, learn to please ouselves so we can orgasm--but I thikn it's really abnormal women can't reach a vaginal orgasm, in fact, that it is culturally accepted we should just masturbate and relax and men are the only ones who can benefit from vaginal sex. Frankly, I don't think men have a clue how to really make a woman climax for several reasons. As boys in this society it isn't important that they learn or even regard their female partner's orgasm important to the entire sex act. As a woman who has had several sex parterns and only orgasmed with one I thikn it is high time men learn how to have sex and care about our orgasms!!!

the hardest area(no pun intended) of marrige is the bedroom ,if you have
had little experience with men even moreso.I was 32 when I married
and understood my female orgasm would be under my control as would
my husbands erection .Oral is a major turn on for men and practise
makes perfect.My hubby is always over the moon when I perform
it for him and he in turn has developed a nice staying power for me.
Cheers siobahn

Laura, the clitoris is located right above the vaginal hole area. It looks like a mini penis (sort of). It's not inside your vagina. It attaches to your "lips" that surround the hole area where men insert their penis. Women have various sizes...Anywhere from a tiny nub to some actually extending inches. But when it's aroused, it has an erection like a penis.

There are many options a female has to acheive a clitorial orgasm. Trust me, you will know if your having an orgasm!!!! Your sensations dramaticaly change before you're even close to achieving...Usually. In order to achieve an orgasm from masturbation, one must create a fantasy in order to. Perhaps you could visulise being with your husband! In fact, some women just make love to themselves...Becoming one and appreciating thyself. Some visulise of others.

If you're too uncomfortable to explore masturbation, then perhaps ask your husband to explore your clitoris. I know it's common with christians believing that sex should be strickly intercourse and nothing else, but how on earth could this be taboo when it came with our body? It isn't much different than giving someone a backrub...It feels wonderful and each and every person is entilted to experience joy! Same thing with oral sex...Not too much different than kissing. Without use of "toys"...One good way is to use your finger and lightly rub against your clitoris in an up and down motion and/or circular strokes.

And even while having intercourse...It makes a great combonation to rub on your clitoris at the same time!

i'm sorry but you are completely wrong. A man's sense of his own worth in the bedroom is based on how he is able to please his woman. That is the most important thing. If I am able to get my girl off over and over, it makes me very proud.

er ah...Nyguy...Speaking from experience and from what nearly all, if not all girls/women say with their experiences...A lot of men don't care about the saticfaction a women receives! To a point yes, but a lot of men just roll over or zip up and leave once he's climaxed not even giving a second thought to the chick he was just with that hasn't achieved yet!


Overall, I think the bottom point is...All women should tell their man or women to take a hike if they're too selfish!

Nevrthless, communication is extremely important with anyone.

Honestly, some of my partners I was too shy to say what I wanted when things weren't actualy connecting with me. However I did with some, but once my hormones started raging around 30...I am not inhibited to say what I want anylonger at all! And in my experience with this...Everyone has a higher respect level for that! Can't keep a person guessing what to do if they already weren't able to use their sences to figure it out on their own!

That makes me ashamed of my gender to be honest. To me, I would rather see my girlfriend in a state of pure bliss than even getting there myself. There is such a sense of satisfaction for me when I know my girl is completely satisfied.
I agree about the communication part. Great lovers are made, not born. As you get older, you begin to realize that the fumbling around in bed does not cut it anymore. There is a certain discipline that comes with it. Lovemaking is an art and begins from the moment you wake up. Many people don't realize that foreplay does not start an hour or 2 before sex... It starts with breakfast in bed and maybe a note slipped into a pocket for her to find during the day.
In any case, best of luck. Maybe you should let your husband read through here.
Nyguy

Yes, I also have to agree.
No, not all men think that the woman should just masterbate etc., but there are sooooo many who do. Even women just accept the fact that since the man cannot please them they will just masterbate.
You know what really makes me mad? When people say that when you are having sex that you (the woman) should play with your clit to produce orgasm. Whatever. If I am going to have to play with myself them why do I need the man? That really makes me mad. More men do need to learn what they are doing, but at the same time it isn't all their fault. There are way too many women who let them be two pump chumps, and don't make them work for it. Therefore they have no reason to learn and some even think that they are pleasing the woman. In general the blame cannot be placed on men or women, but individual cases are a different story.

Well, unless one has met up with a don juan demarco…lol… it is a shame that so many women fake it or just lie aside! I feel often times it is based on lack of communication, inexperience, phobias (on whatever realm it may be), and for some…the point that many women are about 10 years behind men’s sexual peek?

I seriously would like to see more if not all women to take a stand to women’s orgasm rights!!!! I mean come on…too many just let the person achieve and say the heck with it…well; you were aroused too to begin with eh?

It is a peeve of mine…too much male dominance allowed in today’s world…men being superior. There is such an existence of equality. However, eh, perhaps that is just it…one partner seeks more than the other does!

I know what you mean! We cannot blame just the men because the women let them get away with it! I gave up on sex. Ah, it is just too much work. You get a man, you train him and (if he is trainable, and doesn't just believe that he already knows everything) by the time you get him to be okay, the relationship falls apart over something stupid anyway. I would much rather just be single and sexless. That may sound sad, but it is so much easier.

Hmm, I don't really think it's a matter of blaming anyone--not really that personal. I do agree women let men think they are casanovas with fake orgasms,noises and overenthusiasm instead of disclosing the truth about the whole pumping woodpecker thing as well as the woman maserbating during sex (who is that for really?). If we want to blame something i'd say it's the cuture of sex and eroticism portrayed in pornoraphy, media, films, books underemphasizing the true dynamics of a woman's orgasm while pressuring her to be a hungry, hypersatisfied sex addict while also making her feel compelled to do anything to fit very narrow, destructive terms of sexiness for male culture--not necessarily every individual man.

And someone said something about training them for vaginal sex that will include my orgasm and not knowing ourselves what to tell them? Please, if you know, tell me!! Because that info is not widely known--

I didn't mean that we "blame" anyone, but when we start making posts about how women cannot orgasm because men suck (in more or less words) it is important to look at both sides and place "blame" /reasons where it is due.

Where is that? I didn't intend for you to take offense.

Oh, you didn't offend me! All of the posts about the whole/man/woman thing were insinuating things which is why I said that you cannot really "blame" either one.
No, none of the posts really were "blaming" I was just clarifying so no one was offended!