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September 25th, 2003
My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer in may. She is 76. It was decided not to persue any treatment. She is receiving hospice care. Pain meds are oxycodone and nebulized morphine. She lives in another state from me. I have been to see her 4 times this year. She doesn't appear to want to share her condition with me. Seems to be defensive when I question her too much. We have always had a tenuous relationship but I kinda wanted to have a few good memories. Does anyone have any suggestions or simalar experience they might share with me. She is so cranky when I visit, just upsets me more and last time I cut my visit short. How will I know when I know when the end is really near, so I can be there with her? Thank you. Gaildoggy
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valcat
replied November 5th, 2003
I know what your feeling, I went through this with my mom she was diganosed november 2001 with lung cancer and she was 58 it was on her birthday when it was confirmed, she and I were best friends most of the time, we lived only 10 min from each other her and my dad were married 35 years and my daughter was here world, but she also got very angry going through chemo, loosing her hair her beauty her dignity (sp?) anyway I had to respond to this post because I fought with her I told her noone wanted to be around her and that I thought she was mad because we werent sick, well after 10 months after watching her die I know that she was very scared and that she didnt want to leave us expecially her 10 year old grandaughter, that fear turned into anger and I regret nothing more than not being there for her when she needed me the most, its been 1 year and 4 months since her death and well dont make this mistake because now I fight with myself everyday beating myself up for this and not being able to tell her how sorry I am.


Tell your mom that you love her and know she isnt mad at you but her situation.

God bless...
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