Teen Pregnancy Forum - Problems..problems.. And More Problems...

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Q: Problems..problems.. And More Problems...

asked by: newlife on July 19th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Okay, well I am pregnant , depressed, and confused. I have so many things to do and so little time. My baby will be here in feb. And I am in no way ready, accept for the love that I feel.

Now jon all of the sudden is having issues, and he's asking me why am I with him, and saying that I could do so much better than him. I have no idea why he feels this way. I love him. And believe it or not in my opinion ,all men should try to model themselves after him a little. He knows that know I am pregnant, I feel disgusting, but no matter what he always makes a point to tell me I am beautiful. And what makes it so special is that it is out of the blue. Like maybe when were watching tv, he'll just look at me and tell me how pretty I am. Don' e me wrong we have our share of problems ,but I know that he is loyal no matter what.
Yesterday, we were talking and he said that he needed me the other day, and he didn't call me b/c he felt like our relationship wasn't on that level anymore. And it is hard to here something like that b/c we have been through hell, and high water together. And for him to feel that we don't have that type of relationship anymore, just hurts.

And on tp of that he feels like, now that we are having a baby, that I don't care about or need him anymore.

What am I supposed to do?

I feel so sh*tty.

And I have to get all of my stuff ready for school, and I know that I won't meet the deadline which means I won't be going to school this semester. Plus I want to transfer next semester to another school with a bsn program, b/c it is more structured and I think a more structured program is what I need esp. If it is going to get me a higher degree in the end. But how the hell is am I supposed, to start school with a new baby. I mean on Dr. Phil, the 15 year old that had a baby was back at school in two weeks, but I don't know if i'l be able to do it. At first I was really excited about tranfering but now I just don't know.

I am really depending on ya'll for this, b/c since I am pregnant I really trust ya'll more than my normal friends b/c ya'll can really relate in some way. Okay should I just not go to school this semester. If I don't go, i'll be able to work two full time jobs before the baby comes, so i'll have more money saved up for the baby and our apartment. But my mom will be upset. But then again my life will be much less hectic. If I do go i'll only be able to have one job, which will really mess me up (i'll explain). My mom will be happy, but I will be worn out. Okay now i'll explain why one job will mess me up. I don't need a job for the money really ,b/c jon gives me what I want , bt to be able to fill out an application for an apartment I need to have been working for a certain amount of months with a certain amount of income, and one job won't cut it.

What should I do?

Replies(5)

lee25

replied on July 19th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

How far along are you? I found out in december I was preggo.I was ending that semester. Then I went for the sring semester which for us starts the ending of january and ended in may, then after that I went to summer shcool that started june 4th and ended last week. You have to take it a little at a time. I pushed myself and kept my self busy, and believe me school housework a 3 yr. Ole and a husband to maintian was extremely hard. But I did it! If you feel that you can do it and you have your mind set on it, it will happen. Think about this, how long do you think your going to take off from school once the baby is here. How long do you plan to put your life on hold, your pregnant not handicap. I will be 36 weeks on wed. And I will have my baby in august, and go back to school in sept. I'm not saying it's easy, life is not meant to be easy but think about your baby. You have to make something out of yourself to help you throughout your life to help you raise your baby. How do you feel? Are you having morning sickness? How do you feel about this baby? Are you physically and mentally prepared for it? You could figure this out only you, you know your bodies limits, and only you know how much you could take.

Brenda

nikki_caro

replied on July 19th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Ok im gonna feel really bad but I cannot remember how old you are. And if you live with jon or not. Is this high school or college? If its high school I say you try to get independant study so you can work and stuff before the baby comes, yet have time to get keep your grades up. My sister did it and she graduated with honors. If you are in college, then put off college for a bit and work then maybe take classes after the baby is a bit older. Take time to think about this though and see which is more important to you.
Ok about jon, any man during a pregnancy can be affected as much as you can. With you and the baby inside you he will feel a bit neglected and his hormones will change. Just keep reassuring him how much you love him and stuff. He needs to hear it often because he might feel all your attention has gone to the baby. Make him involved in this pregnancy and tell him whats going on with the baby, so that way hes included. His hormones will still be crazy but he will feel better if you help out too.
When you get a place will you be living with jon? So then you can have 2 incomes listed on the application?

newlife

replied on July 19th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Thanks for replying. First I am 17, and I am in college. And I am 2 months (almost 3). I was having mornig sickness but now that I am almost 3 months, it really has gone away, and i've begun to develop normal sleep patterns again. I love my baby, and I am so happy that i'm pregnant. I am really looking forward to giving birth. Well of course I am not fully physically prepared ,but I am getting there, and I do think I am mentally prepared, but it is overwhelming sometimes. I know I can take working b/c of the type of work i'll be doing. But going to school and woking while I am pregnant, looks kind of grim to me.

And nikki, if I were to take time off from school it would only be this semser or next semester. No more than that, b/c the faster I can get my degree, the better life my child will have ,so waiting for my baby to turn maybe 2 or 3 is out of the question.Ohh and no I don't live with jon. Of course my baby is most important ,but that is why I need to get my degree asap. I say that b/c after I get my degree my starting pay down here will be $60,000. So that would be much better in my mind than working making like $20,000 a year for 2 or three years then going back to school, and waiting for my salary to increase.

I am really excited about transferring to a bsn program, so i'll be doing that in the spring no matter what. But I really don't know if I should go through the trouble of going to school this semester. I just don't think that it'll be worth the trouble.

nikki_caro

replied on July 20th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Well if u want to get this done quick, hold off on 2 jobs, just get 1, then take off a semester or 2 but no longer than that and keep up the good work. You can do it, just dont be so down.

newlife

replied on July 21st, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Thanks nikki.

Okay this is my plan, I will take off this semester (i am going to transfer anyway). And i'll try to work a night shift in a hospital 11p-7a, and if I can I get a part time (like every other day) in a daycare center. That should get my income high enough. Next semester (spring 2005) I will transfer, and when I have the baby i'll put in an app for a leave of absence from school (only about 3 weeks. But i'll still take 6 weeks of from work. So after my school loa is over I go back, but I won't worry about work for another month. I know it will be hard, but when I get my degree, and get a real salary it'll all be worth it. I am just scared about leaving, the baby in daycare or something. I mean if I work at a daycare, it'll be fine when I am there, but when I work over night she/he will have to be at the in home daycare. I am just so scared.

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