It Is Official My Husband Is Bipolar Mania Posted: 07-18-04 00:27am
I am new to this sort of support but find
myself reading up and trying to learn more
daily. Where do I start? My husband
finally saw a psychiatrist and was given
the diagnosis less than a week ago. What
lead into the intervention was confronting
him appox 2 weeks with suspected drug use.
Now it is dealing with life and going
forward. He was started on depakote
500mg and he is having side effects, yet
is taking it, he feels "slowed and unable
to process information well." he just
seems very differant, I am looking for
signs of depression cause he is so very
mellow. I keep asking if he is ok which
drives him crazy. The trust is a big
issue too, with being lied to for so long
it is a matter of is he being honest. It
is just a struggle, we want to work
through it, but is is so very hard. We
have known each other 22 yrs and married
almost 13. Does anyone else have trust
issues, yet you don't want to be the
nagging wife. Any support is helpful.
Thanks, new beginning.
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 07-18-04 10:37am
My husband does not have this problem but
he has lied to me - to my face & so
well that he had me questioning things I
had seen with my own eyes & with a
witness - so I understand the issue of
trust!! All I can say is that for me
while the issue has never totally gone
(after 15 years!!) it has lessened with
time & with my working through my
feelings for him & I guess sort of
listing the pluses & minuses (the
pluses won) so we are still together.
When it comes to trust after being lied to
- I think that that is the first thing you
need to do - weigh up the pros & cons
of him & of your relationship - decide
which wins (pros or cons) then work to
make a life - hopefully with him. But you
first have to make that decision not the
two of you that comes second - once you
have decided to deal & work things out
then you have to talk to him(maybe with a
counsellor) to figure out how to work
together - one obvious thing from your
post would be that he seems to need you to
stop asking if he's ok. So compromise on
both sides.
Obviously you have a computer so I would
also suggest that you do some research
(google or yahoo ) to see what the
alternative treatments & side effects
are to see if prhaps you can ask about a
drug that might not leave him so slowed
& unable to process information - it's
worth looking into & the research will
also help you both understand what is
wrong etc. Just remember though that
often when you start a new medication the
effects can be felt more strongly than
will be the case once his system is moer
used to it. So give this a chance to
work.
Just back to the trust, again learning
about what has & is happening to him
& what the drugs he's prescribed
will/may cause will help you to deal -
understanding & knowledge are power
& they help you to know what is
happenning & so help rebuild
(hopefully) trust.
If you decide to search the net and find a
possible alternative to med's might I
suggest truehope, I am bi-polar and am
taking it I noticed more stability right
away I am not completely stabelized but
much much better than the drugs did and
none of those awful side effects. The
longer your on drugs the more your body
has to detox or get rid of so as your
detoxing your having the same side
effects. You don't stop your drugs you
work with their support calls and
evaluation forms you fill out everydayto
keep track you cut back on med's only when
your evaluation charts stabelize and you
feel you need less and less med's to
stabelize.
Even if you don't want to try this out you
can still print off the evaluation forms
(bottom right of screen) these will help
him see just how he's stabelizing on his
med's and help you to understand the
symptoms of bi-polar. Really its worth
it for both of you.
The stories of how this came about are
very interesting and for some of us it
makes sense that mental disorders are from
a lack of something or another, our
bodies are our best doctors if we fuel
them right and give them what they need.
For some this sounds absurd, those who
rely on doctors more sor than naturalpaths
or alternative medicines.And some think
large doses of vitamins and minerals are
dangerous but the studies show that people
with bi polar are lacking large doses of
these minerals and eventually you cut back
to a maintenance level. The side effects
of vitamins are much less scarry than
those of lithium for example.
Just thought i'd give you an alternative
to look at while you haven't tried too
many med's yet. Good luck to both of
you!
