I am a really bad way but just dont know what I have as there are so many diferent symptons. I feel bad the majority of the time especially when travelling on the underground or in the office. I just feel worse and worse as the day goes on until I am in a mood and cannot think clearly. I suffer from hayfever, I feel like I am not getting enough oxygen, dry inside my head, nauseous, anxious, stressed to the point where I don’t want to talk to anyone and cannot focus properly. I can lose my co-ordination and sometimes have feeling of vertigo and it is clearly evident to others that there is a problem, I have this overall feeling of worthlessness. Any little thing that I don’t like at work will leave me fuming inside.
Eventually I start to think about the negative things in my life, the injustice, bad things that have happened to me in the past. I cannot help but feel depressed note I am taking antidepressants called venlafaxine 150mg. It is definitely true that I don’t like the job I am doing but it is easy and I shouldn’t feel this way just because I don’t like a job. If I think about it I have always had these symptoms but I think they have gradually got worse as I have got older and now these symptoms are unbearable. I feel totally isolated. When I look back on stressful moments that I have experienced in my previous career when I worked as a graphic designer I think these relate to the symptoms that I have been getting. It takes me a long time to recover from these days and when I wake the next morning after a days work I already feel stressed and incredibly tense because I have not given myself enough time to recover. I feel because there is not enough oxygen getting to my brain I cannot function properly which makes me feel mentally unwell, unable to cope in normal situations. People have asked me if I have a problem with my eyes occasionally when I have these symptoms as I have trouble focussing. When I look in the mirror at work I appear pale, my eyes feel and look dry and unhealthy. My throat is very dry and a little sore. I drink plenty of water but this doesn’t make me feel any better it might do for a few seconds but not overall. I feel like something
needs to be flushed out of my head. I have now lost most of my friends because I cannot cope with this illness and people. My girlfriend has left me, she even said that I am not a
man because of the way I have been feeling which was very damaging to my feelings. Note I am writing this letter after a recent nose operation. I have been waiting a whole year for this septoplasty operation which I believe hasn’t made any difference I am still completey blocked. The left side of my nose doesnt function properly. My nose feels and looks so thin it will never inflate like it used to when I do exercise. The top left side of my nose next to my eye is incredibly vunerable and sore it is this area that has given me the most concern yet the surgeons never touched it when I had the operation and when I told my ear nose and throat doctor about this area he said he couldnt see anything wrong. I am 100% convinced that there is damage to my nose there which has been ignored or missed on examination by the doctor. It just doesn’t feel or look right. You can even see the dark unhealthy marks it leaves behind there. The skin on the bottom left hand side of my nose feels like a clump of hard dead skin . It actually makes a clicking noise if I bend it. It also feels dry, tight and weak around my right and left temples and there is a lot of crackling sounds in my ears when I open my mouth wide as if to yawn. I feel like I am burning up under the skin of my face. I have used nasal sprays but I dont think this alone will make any difference. I am really scared please can anyone help.