Joined: 13 Jul 2004 Posts: 1 Location: North Carolina
Living With a Dysthymic Spouse Posted: 07-13-04 06:37am
I have been married for 5 years to a man
who suffers from dysthymia. He is taking
medication, but other than that doing
nothing to assist in changing his "mood"
if you will. He does not seek any
counseling or more importantly does not
seek any consolace and or support from
others at all for anything. This is my
second marriage, I have two children from
a previous marrige who live with me, one
of whom will be going to live with his
father in two weeks, and then my husband
and I have one child. He seems
uninterested in developing a
retlationship with anyone. To say the
least it is a depressing environment. I
feel most of the time as if I am drowning.
If is take myself out of the negative
atmosphere he resents my absence, if I
remain in the environment he resents my
presence, and seems to merely tolerate my
children. I long ago learned "someone
else" will not make you happy. I
struggle now with what to do for my sanity
well being and happiness that does not
cause problems in the marriage, and allows
him to be who he is. I have been
divorced before, my goal is to never go
through that again.
Any help is greatly appreciated.
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hookups21
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Posts: 2 Location: North Carlina
Posted: 10-18-04 22:37pm
I don't really have any advice.. But I am
going through something similar.. My
husband has been on prozac for about 4
months.. About 2 weeks ago we got into an
argument and he said I made him start
taking it and now I wouldn't let him get
off of it.. None of these things were
said by me.. Anyway, I told him I would
help him through this in anyway I can, but
now he acts like the conversation never
happened.. I told him he had to be
willing to help himself and want the help
available to him, but its like he doesn't
want it.. Or doesn't think its a big
deal. I told him I don't want to be
miserable.. I think I would feel
differently if he was trying to help the
situation.. He says he has talked to
counselors before and the medicine doesn't
help.. He says he's not happy and doesn't
think he can be happy.. I really want to
help but don't want to get dragged down in
the process.. I've been doing research on
the medicines and printed articles out for
him and he just ignores them.. I don't
know if I should let him try and work
through it or bring it up again.. I'm
afraid i'll push him further away and
he'll say he never should have said
anything.. I don't know.. My thoughts
are with you and hope that it works out
for you
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Taopaz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Oct 2004 Posts: 4 Location: USA
Posted: 10-23-04 23:52pm
Hello.
I am a sufferer of dysthemia, I am also a
single (remarried) but single mom of one
child.
I would recommend that you remove yourself
fromt he situation if your husband is not
willing to move in a positive direction,
which will no doubt be best for your
family and most importantly your child.
As a parent and an individual who goes
through the ups and downs of depression
daily, I can tell you that I have done
much research on how my
behavior/depression affects my little
girl...Fi the option were out there I
would rather her live with a parent or
relative who were not in this state until
I have it under wraps for her. That is
not available to me.
If you yourself do not sufefr from the
symptoms I woudl say that a healthy mother
is better raising a child than an ill
fatehr/mother duo...Unless your husband
would be willing to make his recovery from
depression a daily act.
