My Friend Has An Ed And Maybe More

You are right, it sounds much easier than it is. The thing is with many eating-disordered people, it is hard to get through to us, because we believe so firmly that we are fat and ugly and no good, and that the solution is to starve or throw up. You can tell your friend that it will not help her lose weight; tell her that she will become sick, endanger her life, and, in the long run, may even put on more weight (yup, it's happened to people). Tell her that bulimia is not a form of dieting. It's a disease, a mental health problem, just like depression, schizophrenia, or ocd, for example. Maybe that might shock her. But the most effective way to try and discourage her from vomiting is to tell her that it doesn't work. (i did lose weight at first when I became bulimic, but I put it back on again, even though I threw up almost everything I ate!)because after a while, your body starts burning energy more slowly and tries to retain as much food as possible, and you don't lose weight anymore. So, you can tell her that it's an illusion that she will be thin by vomiting, in the long run. With starving it's quite similar, and it's very very dangerous. You said she is only 14. She is still growing, and really needs nutrients and a balanced diet. It would help if you could convince her to see a doctor, and tell him about it. If she doesn't want to do that, she will not be ready. But ask her what she doesn't like about her body, and then try and make a list with her of all the things she does like about herself. That way, she may realise that she is beautiful in her own way, just like all of us. Tell her the things you like about her. She needs to feel good about herself, then she may feel less like harming her body!
I know this is maybe not extremely helpful, but it's a start. Remember, there's a limited amount of things you can do, so don't beat yourself up if she doesn't take your advice. At the end of the day, she is making a choice. But she should know what she is doing to herself before she makes that decision. It's called making an informed choice. Good luck!

I totally agree with the above.

I would add though that you also have to live with yourself & if after doing all that you can for your friend to give her information & help & to try & get her to see herself in a positive way it isn't working then you need to talk to someone.

If your friend refuses to "hear" & keeps going down this self-destructive path she may die & you should not have to live with any guilt as a result of that & so if she won't listen you need to talk to someone so that 1) you can get support & help for you & also perhaps for her & 2) so that if she does die you will always know that you did all you could & so not suffer as much.

Let me tell you what my best friend did to me. I was bulemic for 6 years. She told me if I did not tell someone she would. She would rather loose my friendship and have me healthy that watch me die. That was 10 years ago and we are still best friends. Something like this is very hard to put on your shoulders. I am an adult and had trouble dealing with it. She needs help. If she want do it for herself do it for her. Once she start it takes a long time to heal. After I got help it took me 2 or 3 years to get over the disorders.