Erectile Dysfunction Forum - I Can't Relax!!!! Help!!

Mens Health > Erectile Dysfunction Forum > I Can't Relax!!!! Help!!

Q: I Can't Relax!!!! Help!!

asked by: Dizzy on July 4th, 2004

New User

Hey all, i'm having ed problems...My new girlfriend is really hard to make orgasm, and can't achieve them from sex alone. It's made me feel really inadequete and I lose my erection right before sex, or can't get it up at all...
I don't have problems getting an erection except just before sex with her, or like I said I lose it before penetration. Even if we begen, i'm really limp from worrying and can't enjoy it at all.
If I could just get this attitude out of my head, i'm sure I could do fine, I mean I was the man with my previous girlfriend (like 2 1/2 hours a pop) but these problems are killing me. Everything sexual gets me worrying about it and of course nothing happens. If i'm worrying, I can't even get it up over porn, physical stimulation, etc...But if I can relax i'm ok. But I can't relax around her. I talked to her a little, and we haven't tried anything since, but i'm still worrying and the problem exists.
Can anyone please help me chill out around her? If I can just lose the fear of performing...Any suggestions?????

Replies(4)

sunshinefromthesky

replied on July 5th, 2004

New User

Relax!

How long have you been together? How old are you both? And lots of women dont orgasm from a man......

Dizzy

replied on July 5th, 2004

New User

Hey, we're both 19, which is too young for this problem in my opinion, and we've been together almost a year but my problems have been going on for a few months now, I just recently told her...If I could just rearrange my thinking? I dunno...If I could think about the sex or visual stimulation rather than or without automatically monitoring my penis in fear...

sandyallen

replied on July 6th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

It could be a chemistry thing, maybe if you try and relax and your new girlfriend too it might help, and remember, sex isn't everything like the post says above, not all girls climax!
Sincerely,
sandy

purple333

replied on July 6th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Have you talked to her about what she finds enjoyable (touch, kissing, whatever) & tried just relaxing & learning about her & her likes/dislikes while also helping her to learn about what you like/don't like etc. It is never a wise thing to compare how things were with another partner - very destructive for you both.

As was said above many women do not orgasm with men, some never do, so it may be that she won't/can't rather than anything whatever to do with you, but certainly the more you stress the worse it will get - your stress will also affect her & make it even less likely that she'll orgasm. Try some relaxation/meditation - it may help in the longer term - it takes awhile to learn & be able to put it into practise at will.

Learn About Us

Get Help

Join In

Do More

We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health
information:
verify here.

The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made. Schizophrenia health sitemap.
This page was last updated on January 1, 2009.
© 2008 eForums, Inc